


너 때문에 Because of You

by EroTaeKai



Category: EXO (Band), SHINee, SuperM
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Porn, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, BDSM Gone Wrong, BDSM Scene, Break Up, ChanBaek - Freeform, Character Study, Cheating, Consolation, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Identity change, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Indie Singer Lee Taemin, Japanese Singer Matsuda Shion, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mentions of forced BDSM, Mild Smut, Model Kim Jongin | Kai, Oral Sex, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, Rough Sex, Sadism, Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Unhealthy Relationships, mentions of sexual abuse, sideChanKai, sideHiHun, sideTaemBaek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-26
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-01-03 00:56:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 49,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EroTaeKai/pseuds/EroTaeKai
Summary: Indie singer Taemin got dumped for another guy. Broken hearted model Kai drank his heart out at the bar Taemin was performing at. Unintentionally eavesdropping on Taemin, he found out that they're both abandoned. They consoled each other and grew close that they've forgotten their pain. Would they meet someone who'll love them while they're healing? Is there a chance for them to fall in love and not get dumped again since they've both experienced it before? Or would the cycle just repeat itself, this time, with the same person who have saved the other's heart from pain?"I trusted you!" Taemin have blurted out, from a very deep memory. He entrusted Jongin everything, only to get his life ruined and his heart broken with the same reason they were brought together.





	1. 끝은 시작이 // The End Is The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> "I'm glad I've met you at the right place, at the right time, at that very moment. I'm also thankful for myself, for not getting too drunk and being so brave to go to you when I should've just let you grieve alone. And thank you also for not being mean to me when I disturbed your moment of grieving." - Kim Jongin
> 
> "No worries. I guess it's just magical to have met you in such moment when we're both so broken, tattered, torn and dumped. Now that I came to think of it, we were really the new people of each other's new beginning. I'm glad that you're the first person I am with as I begin my new life." - Lee Taemin
> 
> C H A R A C T E R S : :
> 
> Lee Taemin // Ace // Song Shion
> 
> • born July 18, 1993
> 
> °an indie acoustic singer 
> 
> °Lives with his younger sister and his best friend/her sister's boyfriend.
> 
> °Byun Baekhyun's boyfriend, until he's dumped for someone else.
> 
> °Humble and family-oriented man. Gives importance, attention, affection and appreciation to people in general
> 
> °Does his best especially for the ones he love.
> 
> Kim Jongin // Kai
> 
> • born January 14, 1994
> 
> °a model and brand ambassador
> 
> °Lives with his boyfriend of 5 years, also a fellow model and brand ambassador Park Chanyeol until he was dumped because of someone else.
> 
> °Struggling with his self-appreciation and confidence so he unknowingly made another persona named "Kai"
> 
> °Only opens up to someone he really knows
> 
> °Kind hearted and appreviative.
> 
> Byun Baekhyun
> 
> • born May 6, 1992
> 
> °aspiring singer / model
> 
> °Taemin's boyfriend of 2 years until he dumps him for someone else
> 
> °egotistic but would do all things for his love, his dreams and passion
> 
>   
Park Chanyeol
> 
> • born November 27, 1992
> 
> °an aspiring model that is slowly getting recognition around the world
> 
> °Kai's boyfriend of 5 years until he dumps him for someone else
> 
> °Number 1 passionate man on everything, even on little superficial things
> 
> °Hates losing and would choose career over love
> 
> Oh Sehun
> 
> • born April 12, 1994
> 
> °Taemin's most reliable best friend since they were kids. (They are neighbors)
> 
> °Taemin's little sister's boyfriend that lives with them because his family is living overseas.
> 
> °Chooses family and friendship over anything else.
> 
> °Loves Taemin but would choose Hayi whenever the siblings are fighting.
> 
> Lee Hayi
> 
> • born September 23, 1996
> 
> °The Lee family's princess.
> 
> °She lives with her older brother Taemin and his best friend, also her boyfriend Sehun.
> 
> °She's a fashion accessories and graphic designer.
> 
> °Also blessed with great vocals like her older siblings.
> 
> °Fights with Taemin a lot but she loves him the most.
> 
> °If she would have to choose between Taemin and Sehun, she would choose Taemin to annoy her boyfriend and to make him do crazy things.
> 
> Lee Jonghyun // Taeron (Tyrone)
> 
> • born May 15, 1990
> 
> °Taemin's older brother that lives in Kyoto, Japan
> 
> °He's a famous rock star in Japan under the name Taeron
> 
> °The father figure of the family who guides his siblings
> 
> °Loves all his siblings especially his only brother Taemin
> 
> Lee Jihyun // Kyuri
> 
> • born December 12, 1986
> 
> °The eldest of the Lee family, Taemins elder sister
> 
> °She works in Japan as a Disney Princess at Tokyo Disney Sea
> 
> °The mother figure who spoils her siblings
> 
> °She fights with her brother Jonghyun the most but love him to pieces because they went to Japan together to work and support their younger siblings
> 
> Kim Kibum & Kim Jonghyun
> 
> °Jihyun and Jonghyun's best friends, a fashion coordinator and an album producer

** 2014 **

It's an ordinary night for Lee Taemin also known as Ace, as he is scheduled to have his performance at Club Bbang. Every Wednesdays and Sundays, he works his passion out as a singer at the place. He loves performing for audiences not until tonight when he loathed to work. He doesn't feel like working, as he just got dumped by his boyfriend a few hours earlier.

He have cried so much after Byun Baekhyun took him to _Sports Monster_ to enjoy games and ate at _My_ _Sky_ restaurant for an early dinner. It was a perfect surprise date for Taemin on a random day, until Baekhyun drove him back home at 8pm because he would have to work at 10pm, returned their couple ring and left, only to be told '_you're too good to me and I am not enough for you'._ Taemin still can't believe that it really happened because they were so happy before they went home, and he doesn't know what went wrong during their 2-year relationship. He wasn't able to tell him anything, and just '_accepted_' every word Baekhyun have told him as tears went down his face.

He may have been in denial with his situation but he got ready for his work, concentrated to go through it and he could talk to Baekhyun afterwards. He just have to survive this dreaded Wednesday night and he could cry his heart out until before Sunday, his next gig schedule.

Ace's setlist for tonight is a mix of famous Korean and Western songs he covered. He's quite distracted until he arrived to the song requests part. Some audiences who would tip for a great sum of money have requested for soulful sad songs, and one of them is his rearranged acoustic version of After School's **_'Because Of You'._**

"Actually this song was released in 2009, I was only 16 years old but I remember listening to this song more frequent than other songs. It's a nice heartbreak song and for you to actually request this, it means you have heard me sing this before, right?"

"Yes and we love it!"

"Thank you. Let's go. **_Ajikdo na geudaereul itji mothae. I'll never forget, boy.. I'll never forget boy._**" Taemin started to play the intro with the piano.

**_"Heeojin ji beolsseo myeot nyeoni jinanneun ji molla. Geudae saenggangman hamyeon jakku nunmulman_** _**heulleo.."**_ (can’t remember how many years it has been since we broke up but I cry every time when I think about you..)

Taemin concentrated on his song looking at the audiences and somehow saw a sad-looking tall man went to the bar. Before anything else, he just focused on singing even if it started to affect his emotions.

"Uhm, 1 bottle of Han Vodka, please."

"Yes sir."

"Thank you." The man got his order as he listened to the song being performed at the center stage. He settled near the stage but went on a corner peaceful enough to have his alone time.

Alone and lonely time because after his five years relationship with his boyfriend, it all crushed down because the latter said_ 'you're not the one for me'._ This man named Kim Jongin, 20, a luxury brand model, have crumbled down because of a fellow model named Park Chanyeol, and is broken and bruised, tattered and torn so he went to have a very good drink to forget the heartaches he's feeling.

**_"saranghaji mal geol geuraesseo, jeong juji mal geol geuraesseo, butjapji mal geol geuraesseo. wae ireoke na honja apa? nan hangsang neomanui jangmiga doeryeodeon nae maeumeul ani? ije jogak nan sarangui machimpyoga dwaetdaneun geol. nunmuri millyeowa memareun ipsuri jeojeo.. ije eotteokhae geudael ijeul su eobseo?"_** (I regret giving you my love, I regret getting attached to you, I regret holding you back. Why do I have to face the pain alone? I tried to be your only one but did you ever understood my heart? Now it became the compass of broken love. Tears are flowing down and it soaks the dry lips. What should I do, now I can’t erase you out of my mind?)

Taemin started to feel the lyrics and message of the song deeper so he also got an emotional soulful voice. He saw that the audience are also enjoying the performance so he gave his best shot.

"Oh, it's a good song. Nice." Because of the song lyrics, Jongin is starting to get back to his sullen mood. He drunk all the alcohol he ordered that he became so red but he doesn't care about it anymore.

"Tss. Move on and live a good life? Fine. I'd do whatever I want and even if it means drinking, I'll go for it! Nobody would care anyway and I've accepted that fact. Besides, Chanyeol won't care even if I do anything like this."

**_"geu naldo biga wasseotji hanchameul geudaen mal eobsi. nareul barabogiman haesseo. heundeullineun nunbitgwa aesseo jitneun eosaekhan misoga ibyeoreul yaegihae jwo.."_** (It also rained on that day you’ve stared at me wordlessly. You’ve stared at nothing else but me. Those trembling gazes and the awkwardly forced smile speaks of our separation.)

Jongin have felt the alcohol kicking on his system since he finished the bottle of vodka and just enjoyed the music since the song fits him and his brokenness. He couldn't even help but think that he's the perfect depiction of the song being sung. Jongin stared coldly at his empty glass while closely listening to the lyrics of the song, and how the vocalist have conveyed the right feelings about it. Speaking of the song, he also can't help but admire the performer. He wanted to give the guy a hug, especially the emotions that he performed were too heartfelt. But he didn't want to get too superficial. Besides, his heartache still needs healing and he have to focus on that more than anything.

**_"maeumi neomu apeunde, gyeondigi goerounde. neoneun eodiseo mwol hani? Na ureosseo cham manhi. neo eobsin nan mot sarajeo. naegero dorawajwo nal tteonagaji ma. neo ttaemune manhido ureosseo, neo ttaemune manhido useosseo. manhido useo nan. neo ttaemune sarangeul mideosseo, oh yeah neo ttaemune, neo ttaemune modu da irheosseo. jeongmal dap dapdaphae, gap gapgaphae, mak makmakhae. neo eomneun sesangi nae maeumeul simeonohgo, jajonsim jitbarbanohgo. nae maeumeul jjijeonohgo. wae nareul tteonaga?"_** (My heart aches, It’s too much to bear. And where are you? I already cried a lot. I can’t live without you. Please come back and stay with me. I cried a lot because of you, I laughed a lot because of you, I laughed a lot. I believed in the love because of you. I’ve lost everything because of you. I’m frustrated, suffocated and lonely. The world without you has chewed my words out, trampled on my dignity and tore my heart apart. So why did you leave me behind?)

Taemin sang the last part of the song soulfully that he have his eyes clouded with tears. He held everything back until he left the stage and rushed to his waiting room to cry his eyes out.

At the last part of the soulfully-sung song, Jongin wasn't able to fight his tears that he just looked at his empty glass pitifully, wiping his cheeks harshly as his heart got opened and the pain on the wounds began to ache.

After Taemin calmed down, he got his phone and went outside to have a quiet atmosphere so he could talk to Baekhyun. He have tried to call for more than 40 times and finally got answered on the 47th call.

"Taemin wae.. it's almost 1am, why are you disturbing my sleep?!" Baekhyun sounded irritated because of Taemin's call disturbance.

"You used to call me Minnie.. Hyunnie, I really love you. Are you serious with what you have told me earlier?"

"What you heard was true and real."

"But why? What happened? Where did it went wrong? Did I do something you didn't like? Please tell me so I could make it up to you. Please.." Taemin started to cry again but tried to gain his composure so he won't choke on his tears.

"It's my fault. I am the one lacking. You don't deserve me, Taemin. You deserve someone else."

"But I really love you and you're enough for me! I'm contented with just you and I never wanted somebody else! I've never asked you to do anything too! Please, let's work things out.. Please, let's save this relationship.."

"I'm sorry Taemin but you deserve someone who will love you more than what I can give you. Sorry, I could only give you half hearted love. I don't love you that much."

"You.. don't love me that much?"

"I want to be honest with you, at least. Taemin, I wavered. I became unsure. And I am sorry, I've found someone else. Someone I would love so much and I would give him so much love, way more than the love I gave you."

"And you think you can't give it to me? Do you think I don't deserve that kind of love from you?"

"I'm sorry but I'll be a jerk once and for all so you could live your life and forget me. I fell in love with someone else while we're still together and I chose him over you. I'm doing this because I have already decided. I know it will hurt you so much but I am really sorry. I just want to be honest to you and also to myself. I don't want to stay with you when my heart wants to love him instead. You deserve someone who will love you more than I do, and I don't deserve the love that you give me because I'd just throw it away since I want the love of a different person."

"You're unbelievable."

"I know you're mad. Your work is done so go home and take some rest. It's a very long day for you. Thank you for going out with me for the last time and that's the least I could do to compensate the pain I've caused. I'll go back to sleep. Goodnight and goodbye, Taemin."

"I love you. Goodbye Baekhyun." Taemin ended the call and cried harder. He couldn't have a good grip on his phone that he dropped it on the ground, face down. When he lifted it up, the LCD was broken. The screensaver and wallpaper, a photo of him with Baekhyun, have crack marks because of the shattered glass.

"So this is the reality.. it's really our end and my heart is shattered.. just like that. In one snap, it's gone and everything is ruined.." he tried to pick up the pieces of the broken glass and got some cuts on his fingers when he got illuminated by another phone's torch light.

"Are you okay? Your phone is broken, don't pick it up anymore." Jongin went near Taemin after he heard everything from his conversation with Baekhyun.

"Stupid question. I know you're not okay. Sorry."

"It's fine. Sorry for being bothersome and loud."

"Sorry as well for eavesdropping. I never wanted to do that but I heard your conversation.. and I also heard you crying. Sorry to hear that another heart has been shattered by another heartless person."

"What do you mean another heart? By any chance, are you broken hearted too?"

"Tattered, torn, heartbroken, dumped; you name it. I'm not as different as you." Taemin just realized that the man also have swollen eyes, maybe he just also got his eyes dried out from crying a lot, just like him.

"I'm Jongin, and thank you for singing that song very well. I have felt all the emotions that I cried a lot too. It helped me take out and acknowledge my sadness. I'm a fan. You are?"

"Taemin. Uhm, you cried while I was singing?"

"Yes and I broke down when I emptied a bottle of Han. Sorry if I reek of vodka."

"It's okay. It's a miracle you're still up after finishing that bottle. You must be used to drinking a lot."

"It's already almost a week since I started drinking. Today is my 5th night and because of you, I didn't order another. I was distracted of my own pain to drink further."

The two broken hearted guys agreed to somehow exchanged stories as they went by the Han River that's only a walking distance from the bar, and also got a tub of ice cream each from the nearby convenience store.

"So you just got dumped a few hours ago?"

"Yes. I thought it was a beautiful day because he surprised me with a date. We went to _Sports Monster_ and also had an intimate early dinner. When he drove me back to my place, he gave back his couple ring with me."

"That person is a trash! If he would break up with you, he should've not led you on! You expected a lot and I believe those tears are also tears of disappointment. You thought everything's fine but then, he suddenly broke up with you."

"Actually, he never told anything after giving me the ring. He just drove away while I was dumbfounded, humiliated and in denial. I went to work blank after realizing that he indeed broke up with me because he updated his relationship status from 'In a Relationship' back to 'Single'."

"Wow, that's harsh. And I heard everything on your conversation, the guy have a loud voice. Sorry to say but yeah, it's over and they've already decided to leave us as if we're nothing."

"Mind to share how you got your heart broken?"

"Yeah. Uhm, we were a couple for 5 years. We live in the same dorm, we have the same job, share the same waiting room. We were basically together all the time. Until he got overseas projects alone, we were far for a very long time and when he came back, he became cold. I know him well yet it was like I was with a different person. I thought that I didn't know him anymore. He wasn't there when I got some recognitions and new projects, I also got some overseas offers but I considered not being away from him until one day I saw him packing his things. He didn't explain much and just told me that we should just prioritize our own lives and careers. I mean, how could he just tell me to back off when we have been all over each other for 5 years? All of a sudden, he would leave me like that. Just like what happened to you, he gave back the necklace I gave him on our last anniversary. It was supposed to be an engagement gift but it's over now. When I went to the company, I found out that he resigned and also changed agencies. He literally threw me away as if I am nothing but an old toy to him."

"Sorry to hear that. Now I understand why you tried to drown yourself with the bottle of Han. That guy is also a trash to just leave you behind, after all those years of living together. 2 years with Baekhyun is already painful and we weren't living together. I can't imagine experiencing the pain of living with someone for 5 years and just got left without any explanation.. sorry to hear that."

"But thank you as well because finally, I could voice out all the pain in my heart to someone who could understand me. It may be a bit absurd to admit but I am thankful that I have found a friend who is as broken hearted as me. A friend who wouldn't tell me that it's okay when it never was, and a friend that would cry with me because we're both broken."

"Me too. I'm glad that you went to me and talked to me. My sister and her boyfriend would just tell me I'm just being overly dramatic and we'll get back together after a few days."

"Same. My sister is like that too."

"Oh. Uhm where do you live? I have a car and I could drive you home. You shouldn't drive, you're intoxicated."

"I don't want my family to see me wasted, and I left the dorm I used to stay with him to stay at a residential hotel. I signed up for a week of crying and drinking so I could get back to the better me in a week. How about you, where do you live?"

"I live with my sister, then her boyfriend which is also our childhood best friend. They have separate rooms though. We don't have our parents with us anymore so those two would be the only one who would think about me. Maybe I could also just go to a jjimjjilbbang and relax or check in at a hotel like what you did. I don't think I could go to my room without seeing our photos and not replaying our memories together."

"Uhm, I know this is a bit creepy since we just knew each other for more than 2 hours but would it be okay if I offer you to go with me at my place? I mean, we could share our broken hearts or something."

"Are you serious about that?"

"Yes, I'm serious. When I get back to that room alone and undistracted, I'd surely cry again. I've been crying for 5 days now and I would be very grateful if you'd stay with me. I could calm down knowing that I have a friend who will listen. I'll listen to your heartbreak stories too."

"Uhm but I don't have other clothes with me now.."

"Don't worry about it. I have tons of clothes, I could lend you some. And don't worry, there's a pool, a jacuzzi, a gym, and jjimjjilbbang so you don't need to go to somewhere else alone."

"Okay. But first, let's get more ice cream."

They got loads of ice cream buckets of different flavors and some microwavable popcorn that they could munch on when they want to, and arrived at the room Jongin is staying. Taemin was surprised to see his luggages by the living room of the suite.

"It's quite huge to live here. Woah. You must be very rich."

"Not that much. It's actually free because of sponsors."

"Sponsors? Are you some kind of a businessman or something?"

"Uhm, here. Take this and see for yourself." Jongin handed Taemin the newest catalogue for Seoul Fashion Week. He was the model on the cover and Taemin was shocked on what he saw.

"Wow. So you're a model. Woah. That explains the sponsors.."

"Yup. Sorry if you got surprised. It's just.. I'm not too comfortable to brag about my job because I might come off as boastful or shameless. It's not as different from any other jobs. I get paid the same amount, I just get some benefit freebies like products, clothes and some accommodations like this."

"Still very lucky. And that guy.. he's a model too, I guess?"

"Yes. We started modelling at the same time but since he's taller than me and he looks more 'western', he got more opportunities in Europe and America. I was stucked in Asia though I got the offers for the western side too, but turned it down because I wanted to be with him here in Korea."

"That's sad. Well it's all in the past. Maybe we have to accept the painful truth and reality."

"Maybe that's bound to happen. Ah, I think these clothes would fit you prefectly.." Jongin handed Taemin a white Gucci shirt, a royal blue Hugo Boss pyjama shorts, and a gray Versace briefs. Taemin got it and when he saw the brand tags, he gave it back to Jongin.

"Andwae. I can't take that. Those clothes cost a fortune! I wouldn't be able to pay you my whole life even if I work as a performer everyday. I'm okay, I could sleep with these clothes.."

"I have a lot of those kinds. And it's all new, that's yours."

"What?! No! I mean thank you but I can't really take that. It's too burdensome.. sorry."

"I know your sentiments but calm down, I also got those for free. And actually, those are not my size so I won't be able to wear it anyways. So it's yours okay? I don't take no for an answer."

"But.."

"Look. This shirt is too small for my arms and shoulders. I wouldn't fit in it but I think it fits you well. And then the shorts.. it's too short for me. And the underwear, it's very tight on my waist. It's not for me so it's all yours."

"Really? But I can't pay you for these."

"Don't worry about paying. It's for free. And it's okay, I would always get to have more of that when I have new projects with them."

"Seriously?"

"Yes so don't worry about it anymore. Wash up and get comfortable. It's been a very long day for you."

"Thank you. Thank you so much, really."

"No worries, my friend. Thank you as well for coming with me."


	2. 신세계 // A New World

That night, Jongin and Taemin have shared more of their failed love stories but also shared information about each other, like Taemin becoming performer Ace and Jongin as the luxury brand model Kai. They both finished a tub of ice cream: strawberries & cream for Jongin and cheddar cheese cake for Taemin. Jongin have a double bed on his room so he didn't worry about Taemin being uncomfortably crushed if they sleep in only one bed.

Taemin was awakened when he got thirsty. He unknowingly searched for his phone but remembered that it's already broken. He checked the nearest clock, it's already 8am and Jongin is still sleeping. He roamed around the living room and noticed the room phone. Since his phone is literally dead (not because of the battery but the LCD itself), he couldn't communicate with his sister who might've been worried of him so he just called her, good thing their mobile numbers only have one digit difference.

"Hayi ah, it's me. Oppa."

"Ya where are you?! Why are you calling from a home phone?! Ya don't mess with me, this might be a call from a robbery syndicate. Suit yourself but you can't tell me to take my brother's money and deposit it to an account number you'll tell me later on.."

"Ya it's really me. Uhm, I'm at a friend's place?"

"Who's friend is that then? You only have a few friends."

"Yes I only know Oh Sehun and Byun Baekhyun but Baekhyun is cancelled now. He broke up with me yesterday."

"He what?!?! Well if you know Oh Sehun then can you tell me where he is now?"

"Oh Sehun must be just right beside you, you brat. And yes, Baekhyun did broke up with me."

"You haven't told me about the friend you are with.."

"I don't have any friends.. I only have you and Sehun now. Aside from Kyuri nuna and Jonghyun hyung which are both in Japan. Our older sister that's working as a princess at Tokyo Disney Sea and our older brother who is a rockstar in Kyoto. Anyways, I made a new friend and he's a model."

"Okay okay it's confirmed that it's you Taeminnie but oppa!! How could you be so easy?! You just met that guy yet you already stayed at his place?! Did he do something to you? Does it hurt? Tell me where that place is, we'll fetch you there."

"You can't fetch me, the car is with me. And I am okay, don't worry about me."

"Oh my gosh you became immune to the pain?! How many rounds.. oh my gosh oppa."

"You and your dirty mind Hayi.. I'm okay, nothing happened between us and he's a good guy. We're just going through the same problems.. we were both dumped so we comfort each other by sharing our heartbreak stories. Just friends."

"Huh if I know, it'll all start with that. Anyways, are you coming home anytime soon?"

"Not yet sure but maybe I'll call you again but with a different number. My phone was shattered after I dropped it face down the ground while I was crying hard. The LCD is ruined so I wasn't able to answer your calls nor reply to your messages, if you tried to call nor send some. I'll buy a new phone later."

"Oh okay. Sorry to hear about your heartbreak but I'm glad that you have a new friend that would listen to your drama aside from me and Sehun. But when he tries to do something, don't hesitate to come back home okay? Love you oppa. Hugs from Hai Hai."

"I love you too, our baby Hai Hai. See you." When he ended the call, he was surprised that Jongin was standing behind him.

"Oh my gosh you startled me! Hi. Sorry for using the room phone."

"No it's okay. Morning Taemin. Ah are you hungry? I've got some cereals and milk but if you want to eat rice, I have bacon and eggs at the mini fridge." Jongin still looked a bit drunk and groggy because of his hangover.

"Do you prefer cereals or rice? How are you feeling?"

"Uhm, I'm not quite sure if milk would help in hangovers so.."

"Okay, I know what to do. Drink lots of water first then you could go back for a nap. I'll just wake you up when breakfast is ready. I'll need your permission for me to work on the kitchen okay?"

"Yeah sure. Help yourself. Thank you."

"Thank me later."

Taemin got the bacon and fluffy scrambled eggs with grated parmesan, then garlic rice, garlic toast and french toast in condensed milk. He also made a hangover drink for Jongin made of honey and lemon with lukewarm water.

"Jongin, breakfast is ready.."

"I'm still sleepy.. Yeollie.."

"It's Taemin. Hehe. It's okay, you could sleep again but you'd feel better if you drink this first." Jongin slowly opened his eyes only to shut them again with regret as he realized he called Taemin 'Yeollie'.

"Sorry if I called you Yeo-"

"It's okay. I guess he used to make you breakfast because you're a sleepyhead and you're the type of person who would wait for someone to make breakfast for you. It's fine and I understand, my friend. Even I might've called 'Hyunnie' in my sleep too."

"I'm still sorry."

"If you're really sorry then let's just eat together okay? I made this for your hangover to be cured. Drink it well."

"Thank you so much. Oh, it's good. Just the right balance of sweetness and sourness."

"Welcome. I'm used to those kinds of drinks. My sister and my best friend likes to drink a lot at home while we are bonding. The two of them would always end up like little kids drained after playing around and then they'll whine the morning after because of their hangovers. It's my way to shut them up."

"They're very lucky to have a brother like you. Wow. And you made scrambled eggs and toasts? Woah! Are you a chef?"

"Just learned the basics from cooking shows for survival purposes. Go ahead and eat a lot. They're your food anyways." Jongin was chomping everything like a storm but Taemin was only eating the garlic toasts with scrambled eggs and parmesan.

"Taemin, I thought you'd want me to eat with you? I'm already eating and you're not.."

"Uhm, actually it's been a while since my last breakfast so I only eat a little. I'm not used to eating a lot in the morning. I wake up at 11am just before lunch so I only eat lunch, afternoon snack, dinner and midnight snack before I sleep."

"Are you sure you're not depriving yourself to good food? These are great!"

"No. It's true, really. It's just like when I wake up, my stomach is not yet ready to chomp on solid food. I drink lots of liquids like water, milk or fruit juice instead of having a heavy breakfast."

"Then this is yours. Finish it all okay?" Jongin got a liter of milk and poured some on a glass for Taemin.

"Ah, thank you."

"You're always welcome and thank you too, for making a hearty breakfast. You're a wonderful guy, don't ever degrade yourself just because someone doesn't see it in you anymore. It's his problem that his vision isn't clear."

"ha ha ha don't try to make me laugh Jongin. Same to you then."

"Haha I won't complain. But really, thank you. Because of you, it felt like I lost half of the pain I have been carrying by sharing my stories. You may have shared yours too but it didn't burden me. I hope I was able to take half of your pain too."

"You did and I thank you for that too. Same sentiments, my friend."

"Glad to hear that."

"Ah by the way, I would have to go out today.."

"Sorry to ask this but why? You don't want to be here anymore so you'll go home?"

"Uhm, I'm thinking of buying a new phone since you know.. I dropped it from my hands."

"Ah yes you'll need to buy a new phone. I can help you with that. Can I go with you?"

"Are you sure you want to go with me? You might want to sleep again and rest until your hangover is gone. I'll be fine."

"I'll go with you, so I could be sure that you'd still stay with me. I can't let you go too soon. I still have lots of cheddar cheese cake ice cream at the fridge, I can't eat it all myself."

"So you want me to stay until check out?"

"Yes please? If it's okay with you and you're not too busy."

"Okay. I'll stay then."

"Yay thank you so much, my friend."

Jongin took Taemin to the gadgets section of Shinsegae department store and they went to the Korean mobile phone brands. Taemin can't believe his eyes when he saw Jongin as the brand endorser.

"Hi! Uhm, I think it's time for me to take my gift? I have two of the vouchers. Here."

"Certainly, sir Kai. You can choose the color and the model."

"Taemin, which of those phones do you prefer and what color do you like?"

"Eh? Uhm. Maybe I'll get the silver one. How much is the monthly installment for that?"

"I'll take one metal black and one silver of the latest version then."

"But I-"

"Would you like to have the local 4G or international 4G?"

"Give me the limited edition for both. Ah, I'll take one gold and one silver instead."

"Alright sir Kai. We'll get it wrapped for you."

"Can you engrave names on the back? Engrave 'Kai' on the gold one and 'Ace' on the silver one. Thanks." Jongin smiled at the marketing head and to Taemin who was seriously dumbfounded and shocked with the sudden turn of events.

"What. The. Fuck. Just. Happened?" Taemin was greeted by his new silver phone with his stage name 'Ace' engraved at the back of it as Jongin placed it in front of him after registering his number on the contacts list.

"You bought a new phone."

"Me? Are you sure it's me who bought this? My gosh this phone costs a lot! I can settle for the cheapest because I only needed something for communication."

"Just take this okay? Again, it's for free. I got the vouchers from that company when I made that ad. Just like with the clothes."

"Can you tell me a product or service that is not included on your sponsors' list?"

"Uhm, honestly? I don't know."

"Unbelievable."

"Take this, okay? Just think of it as a phone someone had lost and you've found it. The owner is gone and already given up finding it. Finders keepers like what they say.."

"You're really a brat huh? Thank you for this but I can't really take it without giving you something in return. I'll pay for this. Name the price."

"1000 won."

"I could never buy a grand phone with only 1000 won. Don't make me laugh."

"5,000 won."

"Higher."

"I won't take any price more than 10,000 won. Deal."

"No way! That only cost 6 dollars overseas! Ah jinjja. Okay, I'll only take this if you'll agree with me. I will pay for the full price but on an installment, monthly basis okay? That's the deal. Give me your account number."

"That's for free. That's the real deal."

"Ah Jonginnie why are you like this? But I'll find a way to pay you back in full someday whether you like it or not. I'll just thank you for the free engrave of my stage name at the back since I will pay for this in it's original price someday."

"If that's what will make you stop and accept that then fine." Jongin just smiled as Taemin looked so happy to have his new phone. 

Taemin have called Hayi and Sehun and of course, the younger sister is on FBI undercover mode again. She didn't believe it is Taemin until he started a video call.

"Hai Hai eodi Hai.. Ah ya Oh Sehun!! Where's my sister?"

"At the bathroom. Oh so it's really you. Hai love, it's really Ming."

"Jinjja?"

"Yes. Oh wow. You told us you're staying at a friend's place? Why does that place look like a hotel room?"

"My friend is staying at a hotel for a week for free. He's a model and the hotel company is one of his sponsors."

"Wow daebak. Well you've got a very nice friend there. Taemin's new friend, hello! I'm Oh Sehun, that punk's best friend!!"

"Ya be quiet!"

"Hello I'm Jongin!! You can search for my name on the internet. It's Kai. K-A-I."

"Kai? You mean the luxury brand model?"

"Oh you know me?"

"I do! I mean you endorse a lot of famous brands. I could see some of your ads scattered all over Seoul. Wow Taemin, you're so lucky."

"Shut up and put my sister on the video call."

"Okay okay. I'll also search for Kai then." Sehun gave the phone to Hayi and she was more than relieved that it's not some prank video calls or people randomly asking for nudes.

"Happy now to confirm that it's me?"

"Ye." She soullessly replied.

"What happened to your voice?"

"Uhm we drank?"

"So you and Sehun drank without me? Wow thank you."

"You do not drink with us though.."

"Well I do not drink because I supervise the two of you so you could peacefully and surely settle on your own rooms. Ya, don't tell me you-"

"Ehe."

"What ehe? Ya Lee Hayi get a grip of yourself! Your brother is only away for a night yet.. aigoo. And you Oh Sehun, just wait and I will kill you the moment I take a step back at our house. Ah jinjja."

"Sorry to interfere but I guess your best friend and your sister is old enough to have sex. Besides, it's consensual. Right?"

"Yes!"

"Ya Lee Hayi and Oh Sehun!!! What yes?! Ah jinjja."

"Your best friend is 20 and your sister is 19, right? It's fine. Other people even lose their virginity as early as 15 years old."

"See oppa? I'm even 4 years late."

"Why you little.."

"Sorry. Hehe. And hello, I'm Lee Hayi, you must be my oppa's new friend? Can you show yourself at the camera?"

"Yeah sure. Hello! I'm Kim Jongin." Jongin sat beside Taemin and waved at Hayi on the other line.

"Woah. He's so handsome. Ah, I change my mind. I don't want you anymore, Sehunnie. Let's break up. Can you be my oppa instead?"

"Ah jinjja what an easy girl." Taemin rolled his eyes on his sister's statement.

"Uhm sorry, you're not my type and not my preference."

"Oh.. oh really? Then you could date my oppa then. He's single now, that Byuntae's gone and ByunTaem is broken so yeah. He'll be a great boyfriend, I promise."

"How could you say that to him when you never experieced how great of a boyfriend I am? Huh?"

"I just know because you love us so much. Me and Sehunnie and now, your new friend Jongin oppa. And knowing that the two of you already have slept together, it's an advantage. Hehe. Anyways, Sehunnie and I would have to do something else, you can just send us a message because I will turn my data off. Bye oppa, bye Jonginnie oppa. Enjoy! And don't go home, stay there and be with each other. You need that more than anything at this time. Byeee!"

"Ya Lee Hayi I told you, don't make babies yet! Ah aigoo." But the younger sister ended the video call even before Taemin finished his sentence.

"Your sister and your best friend are cute. They're really meant to be. They're so comfortable with each other."

"Yeah they should because Sehun was already my playmate when she was born. When we were growing up, we were inseperable. We're diaper friends."

"But I never expected that you're so conservative.."

"I just think that there's the right time for it, it shouldn't be forced, it should be consensual, it should be with someone you really love and it should only be done when you're ready to build a family."

"You really grew up well, and matured enough for your age. You're only 21 yet you sound like you're already 25."

"I don't know what you are implying but I'll take it as a compliment hehe. Well I'm sorry for what my sister and best friend have said."

"It's okay, they're cute. I told you I have a sister too, right? I think Hayi and Seolhyun would click together."

"Who knows. Haha."

"Taemin.. now thinking about what your sister have talked about earlier.. I became curious."

"What?"

"Ah nevermind. It's too personal."

"What personal? We literally slept in one room and shared clothes and bled our hearts out. What is it?"

"You're conservative.. does that mean you're still a virgin?"

"Uhm yup. I may be gay and I may have been in a relationship for 2 years but I am. Still the conservative one."

"Oh. That's a bit unexpected."

"Wae? Do I look like a whore to you?"

"No! That's not what I mean. I was just surprised that you're still unexperienced. But I guess you have given a blow or a handjob right?"

"Those are the only things I did.."

"Okay. Anyways thanks for answering. You might not be comfortable talking about it."

"It's fine. I'm open-minded. Maybe just like my stand on why I am a conservative person? I want to give it when I'm ready to build a family. Well it's not like I will fuck a girl because I am gay but I want to give it to the person I want to spend my whole life with. I could kiss anyone with or without feelings but I could only preserve that for someone extremely special above anyone else. Uhm can I ask you back?"

"What?"

"How about you?"

"What do you think?"

"I never asked you of what you think about me, you just judged me as someone who look like a whore to you."

"Hahaha I'm just kidding but no, I'm not conservative so yeah, I've had sex already."

"Oh. Meaning blow, handjob and anal?"

"Including anal. Yes. I've also fucked one too."

"Didn't it hurt so much? I've seen lots of comments about it and everyone said that it hurts like hell on the first time.."

"It does but the pain is addicting and when the body is used to it, it became pleasurable and enjoyable. It's a tolerable, addicting pain. And then with fucking, it's very pleasurable. But I enjoy both."

"Are you a top or a bottom?"

"I do shifting. How about you?"

"What? What again?"

"Ah sorry. So you alternate as well?"

"You could say that. Anyways let's stop this talk."

"I took lots of steps closer to you today. Thank you for opening up."

"Yeah. Me too. Uhm, how about lunch? I'll treat you this time."

"Okay, then later we could hit the gym, then the sauna, then the jacuzzi. What do you think?"

"Perfect."

Taemin and Jongin have pampered and enjoyed themselves that tears and heartbreak were forgotten earlier than expected. They indeed stole each other's pain away and became good friends. They lost track of time that eventually, Taemin have to go back to his house and to also work then Jongin would also have to go back to his dreary dorm. Both of them would want to spend more time out of their respective houses because they know that by the time they go back, they'll get reminded of their heartaches and reality, that they have been dumped by the people they though have loved them enough to stay.

"Uhm, Jongin?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask one last favor from you?"

"What is it? I'll try to check if I have vouchers for that."

"You twat. It's not like that. Uhm, can you come with me at our house? Hayi and Sehun would like to meet you personally."

"Ah haha I thought you need something else. Sure! I'd be happy to meet my friend's family. I'd love to have new friends too."

"Thank you. And another one? Can you help me take out all the memories I have with Baekhyun? I mean the photos and all the things that reminds me of him. Do you have time for that?"

"Oh that's interesting. I'll agree with one condition."

"Uhm please let it be affordable. Please.."

"I'm not a materialistic guy. I'll agree if you'll do the same for me, at my dorm. I don't want any memory of Chanyeol lingering there."

"Okay. Deal."

Taemin helped Jongin with all his luggages and loaded it to his car as they drove to Taemin's house first. Hayi and Sehun welcomed them with open arms to let Taemin's steam off his head since his sister have become so liberated.

"Welcome back hehehe. How's my oppa's first time?"

"I'm still more virgin than you. And you as well. Ahh jinjja. Jongin, as you know, my liberated sister Hayi and my liberated, trust-breaking punk of a best friend Sehun. The two of you, this is Jongin or supermodel Kai."

"What supermodel? I am not! Hello, I'm Jongin. Nice to meet my friend's family."

"Nice to meet our new brother in law. Ehe. I'm Sehun"

"We're not a couple! We're just friends! Aigoo. Anyways feel at home and welcome to our humble house."

"Well it's big for a humble house. It's a nice escape. A nice family house."

"Well our older sister and older brother who work in Japan have insisted to make it like this. With four partitions and a guest room so when we have our own family, we could still be near each other."

"That's nice. It's a very cozy home."

"Have some snacks first. My sweet Hayi have prepared those for your arrival."

"Oh wow. Silvanas?"

"Yup yup yup."

"Oppa told me you love strawberries so I included a whole strawberry inside. Enjoy."

"Thank you so much. Ah, you're indeed Taemin's sister. The two of you are very caring and detail oriented."

"You could take it all, I got enough already packed for you to take home later."

"Oh my gosh thank you so much! Woah, I really like your sister, Taemin."

"Suit yourself while it lasts. Haha."

"Ya oppa I'm not that bad!"

"If you say so.."

After inhaling a dozen of strawberry stuffed Silvanas, Taemin took Jongin to his section with a garbage bag on his hands.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes." When they opened the door, a wall poster of Taemin and Baekhyun hugging was seen, then a smaller photo frame at the bedside table where they were kissing. There's also an A4 size photo at the other side of the wall with Taemin wearing a black toga with Baekhyun giving him flowers which was taken on his graduation day a year ago. There was also the numerous stickers of them from the dollar photobooth, a sketch of Baekhyun in pencil by the table, a house floor plan for their future house, pictures of their dream car, more photos of them together on the places they went, plushies and some clothes that was unwashed at the laundry bin.

Taemin have touched everything he'd be sure to let go so Jongin didn't waste time and threw it all at the black bag. Taemin is getting emotional but he's trying his best to at least let go everything first before breaking down. He also took some of the clothes to which Jongin presumed to be Baekhyun's clothes then threw on the same bag. Jongin helped Taemin move his bed and other things to a different setup so he would think he's on a different room. Taemin's bedroom walls were good as new, replaced mostly with his solo photo or a photo with Hayi, Sehun and their older siblings. 

"Taemin?"

"Um?" Jongin was able to see Taemin wiping his tears away but smiling.

"It's okay, you could cry if you want to but promise me that this would be the last."

"I guess I would have to let everything go. It's okay, I'll be okay. I'll get better thanks to you. Thank you for your help, really. I would've broke down the moment I step here alone but since you're with me, I was able to get through it. I had enough courage to decide and throw it all even if it means a lot to me."

"Everything would be okay. Eventually. Uhm, hug?"

"Thank you." Jongin gave a very comforting hug to Taemin as Taemin shed tears for Baekhyun and their memories for the last time.

Jongin got the black 'memories' bag with him at Taemin's car as they drive to his dorm. He wanted Taemin to throw Chanyeol's memories at Jongin's dorm on the same bag so it would really mean that they have thrown away each other's memories to oblivion.

"Jongin, it's your turn. Are you ready?"

"Let me drink a glass of water first." Taemin got ready as Jongin had his serious face on. He got Taemin's hands and told him to grab and throw all the things he'll make him touch and not ask about it anymore. The place reek of Chanyeol's memories so the whole dorm was almost emptied out, if not, half of it was thrown. And when Jongin thought that it's cleaned enough, he broke down and cried harder than how Taemin have cried after his conversation with Baekhyun.

"Jonginnie.. I'm sorry.."

"It's okay. I have helped you with your room and you've been a great help for my room. I just never thought that 5 years would be gone in one snap. That everything we shared would be thrown away like it's nothing."

"Just like what you've told me, everything would be okay eventually. I'm your new friend to start a new life with, plus you also have Hayi and Sehun now. We'll be with you as you move on and become a better Jongin. I feel better now, thanks to your help and I'll be grateful to do the same for you."

"Thank you so much, Taemin. Really. I owe you this."

"Shut up. I even owe you a brand new phone. What are you saying you owe me something. See, I made you laugh." Jongin started to laugh even if he had tears on his face.

"Thank you for all your efforts. I'm serious. I'm glad I've met you at the right place, at the right time, at that very moment. I'm also thankful for myself, for not getting too drunk and being so brave to go to you when I should've just let you grieve alone. And thank you also for not being mean to me when I disturbed your moment of grieving."

"No worries. I guess it's just magical to have met you in such moment when we're both so broken, tattered, torn and dumped. Now that I came to think of it, we were really the new people of each other's new beginning. I'm glad that you're the first person I am with as I begin my new life."

"Same sentiments, my friend. Ah, I'll take this at the storage first. I'll send the valuable things to the charity especially the damned plushies from our former flames and then I'll get the flammable ones also known as the photos and paper products shredded by the company paper shredder so it could have a better use as recycled paper in the future."

"Wow, the supermodel could also become an environment advocate."

"Shut up. Ah, Taeminnie?"

"Um?"

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"Shoot it."

"Can you go with me? Let's buy more ice cream and popcorn and potato chips. Well, groceries in general because the loft is empty. We can't cook tablewares and eat it afterwards."

"Sure. We could do that after we rearrange the bedroom."

"Yes please! Thanks. And another one.. can you stay with me tonight? I promise I won't tire you with cooking and such. I'll also go and watch you on your gig. I just need company, at least before I go back to work on Monday."

"Sounds good to me. Deal."


	3. 새로운 눈 // Brand New Eyes

2 months have passed, Taemin and Jongin got closer as they sleep on each other's places, with Jongin mostly staying at Taemin's family home to also bond with Hayi and Sehun, while they were talking about life and moving on.

Jongin, a hibernating sleepyhead miraculously woke up because of a noise but he's sure it wasn't Taemin's snoring. When he went out of Taemin's room to get some water, he heard Hayi vomiting at the bathroom by the kitchen.

"Hayi ah, are you okay?"

"Ania. Aaahhh jinjja."

"Can you open the door? I'll give you water to gargle and another to drink. Your stomach is upset?"

"Can you wake Sehun up? Thanks oppa."

"Okay. Drink the water, I'll be right back."

Jongin sprinted to where Sehun was and wake the hell out of the sleeping boy.

"Get the fuck up, Sehun! Your girlfriend is vomiting! Attend to her!" And the boyfriend jumped out of the bed to search for his girlfriend. Jongin followed suit and helped the couple.

"Is it food poisoning? But we all ate the same food. We should've all be vomiting now. Ah! Ya, when was the last time you had your period?"

"Uhm.. a few months?"

"Aigoo. And you Sehun? You didn't use protection?!"

"It's inconvenient and no fun to use condoms."

"Ah jinjja as much as I would like to pull both of your hair out because of your lust, that won't solve the problem. We have to be sure. Attend to her first and I'll go to the pharmacy okay?" Because Jongin is familiar enough and family enough, he knows where Taemin leave the car keys so he went and drove off to the nearest pharmacy wearing only his silk midnight blue Giorgio Armani sleepwear. He went to the counter and asked for every pregnancy test available and some medicine for stomach that is safe for pregnant women, and paid for everything to quickly drive back to the house.

"Get one test then you'll take everything when you wake up early in the morning okay? You could take the anti-vomit medicine. Don't worry, I asked for the ones that is safe for pregnant women just to be sure."

"Thank you oppa."

"Palli and get tested. Later I'll prick your finger so we could draw blood. I also got a blood pregnancy test."

"Oppa.. I'm scared."

"Scared? Scared when the two of you have been carried away with your lust? This is the result of both your actions so you have to deal with it! Aigoo. I don't know how Taemin would react if he finds out-"

"Oppa please? Let's just keep it as a secret first until it's really confirmed."

"Okay but palli and get tested! Should I help you then?"

"Ya Jongin.. that's my girlfriend!"

"But I am gay and I don't care if I'll get to see it all. I would've preferred Taemin's but we're not like that so yeah. Don't be shy, just think that I am your older sister. Or would you want to think of me as Taemin instead?"

"Anio. Unnie."

"Okay. Relax." Jongin helped Hayi get tested with the non-urine pregnancy test. They placed it to rest at an undisturbed spot and waited for the test to beep.

"The two of you, drink water first. I know you are both scared of the results but I tell you, you should be more scared of the sleeping elephant at the bedroom."

"Jongin, I beg you.. let me tell Taemin myself."

"Oppa please?"

"Just get ready to face Taemin's wrath. That's the only thing I could say."

"Ya what's the fuss? Why is it so bright? Turn off the lights!" The three of them were startled when the zombie elephant went out of the room.

"Why are the three of you look so startled? I'm not a ghost, it's me, Taem."

"Ah. He's sleeptalking and sleepwalking."

"Ah hahaha yes love. Hayi and Sehun just woke up because they're hungry. I also got hungry so I joined them."

"Where's the food then, Nini love?"

"Ah oppa you're so cheesy again!! I'm gonna puke oh my gosh."

"I'll just accompany her to the bathroom."

"Ya Oh Sehun! You're accompanying Hayi to where? You think I'm sleeptalking and sleepwalking? I'm not a zombie and I am not born yesterday! If you got awakened because you are hungry, where is the food and why is the kitchen untouched?!"

"Omo."

"Love.. it's okay. Just let them be. Ah, should we drive and get some burgers and fries at Mcdonalds?"

"Um. I'm hungry. Ah, I drank a lot. And as expected, you have high alcohol tolerance."

"I'll get the keys and my wallet. Wait for me. Ya Sehun and Hayi, we'll go to Mcdonalds for a drive thru, what would you like?"

Jongin got a message that Hayi is still vomiting so he intended to stay and just ate at the empty store with Taemin.

"Haha wow Nini love, you love me so much that you have paid the whole store just to have me by yourself, huh? You're so sweet. I love you!!"

"Yes, of course I would do anything I can do for you. Do you want to have some chicken nuggets when we wake up? Or maybe we could take the chicken and nuggets share box."

"That would be good! And I also want ice cream.." Taemin pout cutely that Jongin smiled.

"Okay we'll get that but I think we have to wait for 15 minutes or so. The soft serve is still churning."

"Okay. We could enjoy our private date together while waiting for it.." Jongin was seriously overwhelmed on how cute Taemin gets when he's drunk. He transforms from the grumpy Taemin to a super soft bashful and sweet Taem. He also calls everyone 'love' and tell them that he loves them. But Jongin was feeling something that he never felt with Taemin before, not even with Chanyeol. It wasn't just companionship but also comfort. He's comfortable and happy with Taemin by his side and have grown attached to his new best friend.

Good thing his plan worked, Taemin fell asleep on their way home since he's full. He carried Taemin first inside the house then went back to take all the to-go boxes they ordered. It was a super early breakfast at 4am on a Saturday morning after a Friday night of drinking at Taemin's room. When he went back with the to-go boxes, Taemin was awake again, and standing by his room waiting for Jongin.

"Oh love? I thought you're sleeping?"

"Can't sleep without you beside me." Jongin grinned while shaking his head because Taemin was too adorable.

"Okay okay love. I just got the boxes from the car. Don't worry, I'll just take everything to the kitchen warmer so it'd be good as new when we wake up okay?"

"I love you, Jonginnie."

"I love you too, Taeminnie." And just when he least expect it, he felt Taemin's arms snaking on his waist as he was given a backhug.

"Aigoo. Can't get enough of me huh? Let's drink a glass of water first before going to bed okay? Cheers!" After they finished their glasses of water, Taemin hugged Jongin like a Koala again with his face snuggled at the tall man's neck.

"Your neck smells nice, Nini love."

"Of course, that's Tom Ford Fucking Fabulous. It's bound to smell nice. Can you walk? Want me to carry you again?" And the drunkard cutely nodded. Jongin could've laughed at Taemin's face loud but he didn't, because he saw another side of him he have never seen before. Maybe he saw how Taemin have been around with Baekhyun, and he was only doing that with his unconcious mind. It might also be kind of a habit that didn't get to die even if the former flame is already gone. Somehow, Jongin doesn't just feel comfort but also curiosity and jealousy.

Taemin was the drunk one but when he woke up, it was as if he didn't drink any drop of alcohol the previous night. His head felt like it was hit by a baseball bat so he made himself a hangover drink, another first because he used to make it for Sehun and Hayi, as the last time he became too drunk was when he was 16.

Hayi was up too, but went straight to the bathroom after glancing at her older brother. She vomited again and Sehun sprinted not long after.

"Ya what's with you?"

"We drank a lot, sorry."

"Oh."

"Ah Taemin, do you remember what you did this early dawn?"

"What? I'm just sleeping because I was dead drunk."

"Oh really? You can't remember anything?"

"Oh my, did I snore too loud? Did I sleeptalk? How about sleepwalk?"

"All of the above. Hahaha see for yourself." Sehun played the video on his phone as Taemin watched himself.

_"Where's the food then, Nini love?"_

_"Ah oppa you're so cheesy again!! I'm gonna puke oh my gosh."_

_"I'll just accompany her to the bathroom."_

_"Ya Oh Sehun! You're accompanying Hayi to where? You think I'm sleeptalking and sleepwalking? I'm not a zombie and I am not born yesterday! If you got awakened because you are hungry, where is the food and why is the kitchen untouched?!"_

_"Omo."_

_"Love.. it's okay. Just let them be. Ah, should we drive and get some burgers and fries at Mcdonalds?"_

_"Um. I'm hungry. Ah, I drank a lot. And as expected, you have high tolerance."_

_"I'll get the keys and my wallet. Wait for me. Ya Sehun and Hayi, we'll go to Mcdonalds for a drive thru, what would you like?"_

_"Oh love? I thought you're sleeping?"_

_"Can't sleep without you beside me." Jongin grinned while shaking his head because Taemin was too adorable._

_"Okay okay love. I just got the boxes from the car. Don't worry, I'll just take everything to the kitchen warmer so it'd be good as new when we wake up okay?"_

_"I love you, Jonginnie."_

_"I love you too, Taeminnie." And just when he least expect it, he felt Taemin's arms snaking on his waist as he was given a backhug._

_"Aigoo. Can't get enough of me huh? Let's drink a glass of water first before going to bed okay? Cheers!" After they finished their glasses of water, Taemin hugged Jongin like a Koala again with his face snuggled at the taller man' neck._

_"Your neck smells nice, Nini love."_

_"Of course, that's Tom Ford Fucking Fabulous. It's bound to smell nice, love. Can you walk? Want me to carry you again?" And the drunkard cutely nodded his head._

"Oh my gosh Oh Sehun fuck you a million times!!! Why did you film me?!?! And oh my gosh if I was Hayi I would really puke seeing myself like that!! Omo eotteokhae? What should I do? How would I face Jongin later?" Taemin was all red of embarrassment especially those moments were caught on tape.

"Hahaha. That's your problem. And remember, **_'I love you, Jonginnie'_ **with a back hug. Ah jinjja!! We, the audience couldn't take it anymore as well! Woah. You're unbelievable and your drinking habits got worse! You were never like that to Baekhyun! Oh, sorry."

"Ania it's fine. I'm already over him."

"Are you over him? That soon, for only a month? Why? Are you falling for Jongin now?"

"Ania it's not like that!"

"But can you explain why you were like that hours ago? You look so in love. It was like your subconcious mind is taking over that you unknowingly and uncontrollably did and said everything straight from your heart. Tell me honestly, my best friend. Do you like Jongin?"

"What do you mean like? I like him as a person, as a friend and as a best friend."

"For goodness sake, we're already 21 yet you're acting like it's 2008. Do you like him as a lover?"

"Still not sure of it though."

"But you're feeling something?"

"Yes. Comfort. He feels like home."

"Well, do you know that's what and how love feels? Have you ever felt like that when you were with Baekhyun?"

"No, certainly not. It's way too different."

"You might be falling for him without knowing, Taemin. Just be careful. It'll be too soon. It's only a month and just to remind you, both of you got dumped so both of you are sensitive to people who would fall to the ones who would show understanding and care for them. I just don't want you to cry again. But if I would be asked, I think if you'd be able to prolong that feeling, Jongin might fall for you too."

"You.. you think so?"

"Yes! And the two of you look good together! Ya, the two of you started to look alike in my eyes too."

"Maldo andwae. He's too good looking for me. That's impossible."

"It's called the glow of love. Maybe you'll understand when the feeling grows and you become sure. Well for now, I am happy that you're not crying over Baekhyun anymore, just don't be a man who falls into the trap of instant love so easily."

"Thanks, best friend but Lee Hayi, what's taking you so long? Haven't emptied your stomach of alcohol yet?"

"Ahhh jinjja this is so hard Oh Sehun!!"

"Ya open the door! If your stomach isn't really well then I'll take you to the hospital!"

"Andwae oppa! I'm okay. I'll be okay. A glass of water will do."

"Okay okay. From now on I would ban alcohol from this house. You became too alcoholic that's why your tummy got ill! Aigoo."

"Taeminnie.. you're so loud.. why are you whining? It's still early."

"Morning Jongin.. sorry if I was too loud. It's because Hayi is vomiting the alcohol she drank last night. From now on, we'll have to ban alcohol from this house, okay?"

"I'm an exception then."

"And why would that be possible?"

"Because you'd let me, because we'll drink together again. Hehe." Jongin tried hard to be cute to make Taemin laugh and he was indeed successful.

"Yey I made you laugh. You're so grumpy early in the morning! Ah, I'm hungry. Hayi, Sehun let's eat. We have some chicken and nuggets box for breakfast." But when Hayi smelled the chicken, she went to the bathroom to vomit again.

"Ya what's the fuss? Ah jinjja this might be something serious! Kaja!"

"Taemin, where are you going?"

"I'll have to get this brat checked. It might be because of too much alcohol!"

"Ania oppa I'm okay! No need for doctor!!"

"You also told me that earlier but you're still vomiting! I'm just scared that you might have ulcer or something that may require surgery!"

"Oppa I'm pregnant! It's morning sickness!"

"Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh." Jongin finished his chicken nugget piece and drank the water on his cup to rush on Taemin's side because he knows that he might explode.

"What? Can you repeat what you said?"

"You'll be an uncle soon. We'll be having a baby!"

"You what? Oh Sehun, you what?"

"Sorry. We know we got carried away and we didn't use protection but we never regret it. And it's a blessing for all of us! We'll be able to have a cute bundle of joy."

"Wow, you could tell me that in a very calm manner huh? Aish jinjja!"

"Taem love, I've already scolded them. They have heard enough from me as I spoke in behalf of you."

"Jongin? You already knew about it?"

"Yes love. Sorry."

"Did you ever have the thoughts of telling me?"

"I just told them to tell you personally. But I have scolded them enough. I wanted to pull both their hair off but it won't help so I just told them to be responsible instead. It would not be easy but they have to be ready for whatever will happen."

"Are you sure you're pregnant?"

"Yes oppa. Sehun, get the tests." Sehun ran to his room and got loads of pregnancy tests Jongin bought at the pharnacy, all screaming with double red lines meaning positive.

"Aigoo jinjja Lee Hayi. Jongin might've told you what you needed to hear as he also have a sister but.. ah. How could you bear a child before Kyuri nuna?"

"Oppa, Kyuri eonni is 3 months pregnant already."

"Mwo? Why didn't she tell me?"

"Well, you were busy back then."

"Aigoo. Then why did you do that when you could've waited for Jonghyun hyung to settle down first? And you should've waited for me to have my love first."

"Oppa, you already found him. That person."

"Hehe."

"You're changing the topic! Aigoo. Seems like I can't do anything about it right? After lunch then, we'll get you checked so you'd be healthy. And we will watch over you and all the food you take. Alcohol is strictly prohibited, no smoking and no preservatives. You have to take care of yourself so you'd bear a healthy baby. This may seem to be a bit half hearted but congratulations to you two. And Oh Sehun, you're seriously doomed."

"Ehehe. Love you, Taem." Sehun hugged Taemin as an apology and also for gratitude of sparing his life.

"You should get ready because the good 'ol Lee Jonghyun would have to know, and you should prepare for the day Japan's famous rockstar comes back home."

"Wow, I'd get to meet your older brother. Yey." Jongin cooed in a cute way to distract Taemin.

"Just so you know, he already have a fiancée so it's a no for you. You're stuck with me forever."

"That's okay. Hehe."

Taemin and Jongin was there when Sehun prepared for his surprise for Hayi. She's already 4 months pregnant and her belly is obvious now so Sehun didn't waste time to ask for her hand in marriage. He also made efforts to talk and meet her other older brother Jonghyun in Japan, asked for her hand in marriage with him as her legal guardian, and also to talk to her older sister who is already 6 months pregnant.

Sehun prepared for a cute little proposal by the Banpo Bridge. Hayi loves rainbows and so does Taemin and Jongin, so they have enjoyed the event made by Sehun. Jongin and Taemin have glanced at each other lovingly and without a single word, as they watched the bridge lights open to a beautiful spectrum of colors and also the fireworks that have lighted up the sky as they celebrate the end of Oh Sehun's single life. Hayi of course said yes, and have scheduled their wedding on her 7th month because she wanted to have a maxi dress that would show her curves and her big, bloated belly. She also wanted to have her maternity photos as a part of their pre-nuptial shoot. Everyone including Jongin have helped her achieve her dream wedding.

It's about time for Taemin to walk down the aisle and he was so nervous, because he is walking down with his older sister who is on her due date. Kyuri might give birth anytime soon but they have been telling her to keep calm so Jongin also went opposite Taemin's side to help him calm his pregnant older sister.

"Keep calm nuna. Once it's done, you could breathe again."

"I never expected our little princess would get married before you and Jonghyun. What can we do, she's already with her soulmate the moment she was brought to this world. Isn't it so magical?"

"Yes it is indeed." Jongin agreed with Jihyun with a smile.

"Sorry, she memorized too many Disney lines. Hehe." Taemin commented back to annoy his sisyer but Jongin smiled more as he thought Taemin is such an adorable baby brother to his nuna.

Jonghyun have walked Hayi down the aisle to meet Sehun by the end of the front, with Taemin and Jongin by his side. Kyuri, Jonghyun, Taemin and Jongin shed tears as Hayi and Sehun became one and have wished them a wonderful and harmonious married life.

"Ah, it's sad to set off a sister to a man but I'm glad it's Sehun, our diaper friend. He could try us or he will really be shredded into pieces."

"You sound like a psycho." Jongin said.

"But really, it's better to set her off with Sehun than set her off to somebody we barely know. And I know they have been in love since they grew into young adults. I was a witness of their pure love, childish love, puppy love and cheeky love until it blossomed into a sacrificial love and true love. If we could estimate it, they must've been already in love since kindergarten."

"Wow. The earliest and longest love I've known. But you're right. It must've started with the purest love when they were still kids."

"While they were in love, I was just in hunger. I thought Hayi is the thirdwheel because Sehun is my best friend but now it's clear to me that I am the third wheel. It feels good to witness a love so true. How I wish I'd be able to find it in this lifetime too."

"You'll be able to find that love because you are very worthy of it. You just have to trust love and wait for the right time."

"Sometimes I thought that what if the 'one' for me is a girl yet I want to be with a guy. I thought about those kinds of things but it hurts my mind. But at times, I really get curious. Besides, I have failed in my relationship with Baekhyun. I don't know, sometimes reality hits me. That's the reason why I am still single when my last relationship was over 6 months ago."

"Just to let you know, I am single too and my last relationship was over 6 months ago, the same as you. But I am not rushing on things because I believe it will come naturally. You know, attraction, comfort, trust, love, commitment and also contentment."

"Oooop. You're right. As long as you're still single then I won't have to envy anyone who have found their other half."

"Same sentiments, love."

Kyuri gave birth a few days after Hayi got married then Hayi gave birth a few weeks before the New Year's eve. The Lee family is complete at their house but Taemin is alone and lonely, because Jongin have end of the year projects that would only mean he'll only get to see him a week before his birthday.

Taemin won't be able to do anything anyways so they just settled a video call like long distance lovers do even if Jongin was only in Busan. Same country, same time and far apart but they celebrated new year together with the countdown.

"Happy New Year!!! I love you Taeminnie!"

"Happy New Year!!! I love you too Jonginnie!! Palli wa and come back!! We'll have to plan for your birthday!!"

"I still have 2 weeks left! And I have 2 weeks holiday so we'd really celebrate. Get your stomach ready because I'll make you eat a lot again."

"I miss you, Jongin. Ah yes you have to see how Luhan have opened his eyes! He's a very cute doe-eyed baby boy!" Taemin is actually babysitting his nephew Luhan, and since Jongin haven't seen him yet, Taemin got Luhan on the screen for Jongin to srr.

"I miss you too. Oh woah! Hello there Luhannie!! Ah, now you're making me want to go home. You're so mean."

"Stop pouting, you're making me miss you more. Hehe. Ah, the bed seems too spacious without you."

"Are you telling me that I am fat and I take a lot of space on your bed?"

"What I mean is the bed feels empty without you. Ah! I've covered some western songs. It's a happy one. Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?"

"Sure love. Go ahead."

_ **"Maybe in time, you'll change your mind. Now looking back, I wish I could rewind. Because I can't sleep 'til you're next to me, no I can't live without you, no more. Ooh I'll stay up 'til you're next to me, 'til this house feels like it did before. Feels like insomnia~."** _

"Wow! A round of applause for you! Uncle Taemin is a great singer! You'd definitely put Luhan to sleep in no time. Oh now I feel sleepy. I'll call you tomorrow during breaks and after the shoot. Miss me more so we'd miss each other so much and it'd be sweeter when we see each other again. I love you, Taeminnie!! Happy New Year!!"

"Okay you need to have beauty rest too. Rest well so you won't have a swollen face hehehe. I love you, Jonginnie!! Happy New Year!!"

"I seriously love you, Taemin. Can't wait to come home to you again so you won't have insomnia.." Jongin winked while Taemin laughed.

"I'll end this video call you're getting rude aish."

"I love you. Really. Sing it to me personally when I get back. I love you Taemin."

"Alright. I love you Jongin." Little did they know, their playful and platonic _'I love you's_ have been their little ways to express that they really love each other not just as a friend, a best friend or a brother. Every _'I love you's_ that they say have become _'I'm choosing you more than anyone else'_ and _'I want to be with you for the rest of my life'_. Indeed, their friendship have grown not just platonically but also romantically. They just have to have enough courage to tell each other the progress.


	4. 미래로 귀환 // Back To The Future

Before he came back to Seoul, Jongin have another shoot but he was surprised to see a familiar face he haven't seen for quite a while. A familiar face he wished he didn't see again, a face that he have long wanted to forget because of the pain it caused. He was scheduled to have a photoshoot with his ex boyfriend of 5 years, Park Chanyeol, the ambassador of Tommy Hilfiger in United States.

"Hello Kai! How are you? Nice to see you again." Jongin was torn to act as if nothing's wrong, as in professionally; or ignore him as if he never existed in his life, as in selective amnesia with only the thoughts and memories of Park Chanyeol erased.

"Oh hi. It's an honor to have a shoot with Tommy Hilfiger US's ambassador. But I could've just humbled myself and get to be with Valentino's Zhang Yixing from China or Givenchy's Kwon Jiyong. I wouldn't also mind to work with Chanel's Lee Dongwook and Prada's Shim Changmin, or have a collaboration with Giorgio Armani's Jackson Wang, Louis Vuitton's Song Minho, Burberry's Lee Jongsuk, Calvin Klein's Kim Woobin, Golden Goose's Lee Soohyuk or Fendi's Hong Jonghyun for my level."

"So you're bragging that you could choose and you'd choose anyone aside from me, is that what you're saying?"

"Oh well why are you so offended? Anyways, I believe that more ambassadors will come. I represent Gucci but it's fine because I could still anticipate for the ambassadors of Dior, Versace and Louboutin."

"Sorry but you don't have to anticipate anyone's arrival. The new model that would arrive is from Privé New York."

"Privé? I've never heard of that label since I debuted as a model back in 2010. But let's see, maybe he fits to be with you." Jongin was more surprised when he saw another familiar face, a face he could not dare to forget because that face is the one who have shattered his present love's heart. It was the very same face Taemin was with on all the photos and posters he tore apart from his bedroom and the same person who made Taemin cry that dreadful night for an official breakup over a phonecall.

"I'm new model Byun Baekhyun for Privé New York. You are?"

_'Oh so he doesn't know me. That's good.' _Kai thought.

"Hi, I'm Gucci's Asian ambassador Kai. Nice to meet you and good luck."

"Thank you." 

Jongin have talked to the concept director and have successfully pleaded and convinced the team for him not to get paired with Chanyeol; not because they are past lovers but he justifies it that Gucci and Tommy Hilfiger should have their own pages as Gucci is from Europe and Tommy is from America. 

The shoot have ended and Jongin smirked in triumph as he was able to outplay his former flame. He was packing his things up when he saw something suspicious, with Chanyeol's head sprouting out of the dresser from the half-opened changing room. When he stood by the door, he heard some hand knocks on the wooden wall. He could also hear the dreaded panting of Chanyeol, one of the sounds he also wanted to forget, along with the image of his face sweating as he reaches his climax. He also heard another man's whimper who got silenced by getting his mouth covered. He waited for more than a minute until the two went out of the place. It's confirmed, Chanyeol have fucked rookie model Baekhyun at the changing room.

"Nice show. Congratulations." Jongin gave a sinful smirk and a round of very slow claps as the two models had sweat running down their foreheads. 

Jongin walked away to his crew as they went to the airport. He wanted to tell Taemin what he just saw but he is also torn. _What if Taemin would still get hurt when he tells him that Baekhyun dumped him for his own ex? What if Taemin still loves Baekhyun and he would cry hard just like before? What if it was only lust and Baekhyun would want Taemin back after playing around and debuting as a model?_ He was so torn, more torn than choosing whether to tell Taemin or not about his younger sister Hayi's pregnancy that dawn last year.

"Hello Jonginnnnniiiiiiiiiiie."

"Hi Taem. Where are you?"

"I'm here at Oh Sehun and Oh Hayi's day care center. Those punks went out to get groceries and I'm left alone to look after Luhannie. He's almost a month old so you have to go back soon!!"

"I'm actually on my way to the airport. I'll see the two of you in a few hours!"

"Yay! Did you hear that Luhannie? Uncle Jonginnie would be coming home!! Oh, he's happy. Hahaha. Did the shoot went well?"

"It's fine. I'll just tell you details about it later when we meet. Ah, I want to hug you so bad!! I need emotional support and energy boost!! Being away from you for almost a month have drained Jonginnie's battery."

"We'll recharge it fully later, don't worry. For now, I'll charge it so it could last a few hours until you set foot at the house. What song would you like to hear?"

"Uhm song.. I'd request a Korean song this time.. uhm.. pal i pal i. Davichi's 8282."

"Ah wae? Would you like Luhannie to cry if I start to sing the high notes? Aigoo. Think of another one."

"I can't think of anything but you."

"AISHHHHH JINJJA. Palli."

"Hehehe you're cute. I miss you."

"Geuriweohaeyo geuriweohaeyo geuriweohaeyo.."

"Ania not 2ne1.."

"Ah!! Come back home, baby come back home.. hahaha."

"Well I will really come back home."

"I hope this would make you shut up and think of me more. Hahahaha. _~I love you_.." Taemin sang 2ne1's 'I love you' and Jongin got really red.

"Hahaha wae geurae? You're blushing!"

"That's makeup! I haven't cleaned my face yet and I'll do that during flight."

"Hahaha okay angry bird."

"What angry bird?! Aigoo."

"Mehrong."

"Uhm.. Taemin?" Jongin's tone got serious suddenly

"Yes? What's with the serious tone?"

"I want to tell you the truth. Baekhyun would be debuting as a model. I saw him on the other studio and he's doing an ad for a label from New York. Are you okay?"

"So he went to modelling instead of becoming a singer? Wow. That's unexpected when he have a better voice quality than me."

"Really? So that's his plan? Then it comes out weird.."

"Why?"

"He suddenly became a model of a new brand. I don't know, it sounds foreign and unfamiliar to me. Anyways I'll be there in a few hours. 2 hours at most so when Sehun and Hayi gets back, take a bath and get yourself ready because I won't hug you if you stink."

"Wow Jongin wow!! Says the model who haven't taken off his photoshoot makeup! It also means you haven't taken a bath yet as well!"

"Hehehe I love you Taemin! See you in 2 hours."

"I love you, Jongin. Have a safe flight! Get some sleep so you'll get charged at least 5%. I love you I love you. I. Love. You. Jongin! Jalja. 2hrs. Mwuah!" Then Taemin's video call ended.

Taemin arrived at Gimpo Airport before Jongin's 2 hours countdown. He's very excited to see Jongin again since they weren't able to spend their first holidays together. Taemin wanted to have a snowball fight with Jongin so much so he could beat down the giant, because he knows that Jongin can't stay out in the cold too much.

"I knew it, my excited best friend is indeed excited to see me so he arrived even before 2 hours is up. But guess what? Your excited best friend is more excited to see you that I made the plane fly off faster than the usual. Where have you been? I've been waiting for you for 15 minutes now.."

"Jonginnie!!!!! I miss you so much!!! Happy new year!" Taemin wasn't able to control his feelings that he threw himself to Jongin for a hug.

"Well I miss you tooooooooo!! You've got chubbier cheeks. Looks like you ate a lot during the holidays. Did you eat my portion?"

"Yes but I shared it with Luhannie."

"Yeah, shared it with a 3 week old boy. Yeah whatever. Anyways let's go!"

"Jongin ah!" But both of them heard someone say Jongin's name. When they both looked back, they found out it was Chanyeol.

"That's.."

"Uhm excuse me, Kai's fan but can we talk privately? Thank you! Oh my Jonginnie, I miss you so much!" Chanyeol hugged and even kissed Jongin on his lips and of course, Jongin was startled. Taemin can't bear to see it so he turned away while excusing himself to just wait for Jongin at the entrance of the parking lot but when he was about to arrive there, he bumped into Baekhyun.

"Taemin? What are you doing here?"

"Huh? Get out of my way!"

"Minnie.. how come you're here? How did you know I was here?"

"What the fuck? I didn't go here for you. I will fetch someone else and it's definitely not you"

"Is it Sehun? Hayi? Or perhaps Kyuri nuna or Jonghyun hyung?"

"Stop acting like we're close because we are not! And don't act like you know my family well because you have cut ties with all of them when you left me for someone else. And by the way, where is your new boyfriend?"

"Taeminnie, let's go! Huh?"

"So you have a boyfriend now, Jongin ah? Oh hi Baeklove. Jongin, he's Baekhyun, my boyfriend. Baeklove, this is Jongin, a friend since debut. And you're the one I saw with Jongin a while ago right? You are?"

"Lee Taemin, motherfucking Byun Baekhyun's ex. The ex that he dumped for you, the person who also dumped Jongin for him. Wow, so the jerks fell in lust. Good luck then."

"And the two losers who got dumped fell in love, is that right?" Baekhyun mocked. Taemin got his points triggered so he slapped Baekhyun's face twice because of his statement.

"That's one for insulting us, and the other for dumping me." He also went to Chanyeol to slap his face twice, just like what he did to Baekhyun.

"That's for hurting Jongin by dumping him and another for trampling on our sincere love that have died when you dumped us. I hope you'll experience greater pain of loss and grievance than what we have felt when you chose each other over us. Well technically, it's a win for our part because we got out of toxic relationships and became free from heartless fuckers like you. Enjoy your ride to hell while fucking. Let's go Jongin."

"Taemin, thank you."

"And you, Byun Baekhyun. You'll experience it one day."

"What?"

"Being used then just get thrown away like a toy. I'll wait for that day. Good luck."

It was supposed to be a good day for Taemin and Jongin but because of what happened with the appearance of Chanyeol and Baekhyun, the mood was ruined.

"Taeminnie.."

"Low maintainance person. I would be okay even if you're silent. Just rest, I know you've had a tiring day."

"I'm low battery. I only have 3%. I have to be plugged to my original power source."

"Jongin.. Do you still love Chanyeol?"

"No. Not anymore. Do you still love Baekhyun?"

"Not even a thought. Do you love me?"

"Yes, I love you Taemin. Not just love but I really really love you. I miss you so much. Spending time away from you was so hard. How about you, do you love me?"

"I love you, Jongin. As in I love loving you and I'm lovingly loving you. Not just a friend, a best friend or a brother. A million times more than that."

"So what are we now? Boyfriends?"

"Nope. Fated and destined soulmates."

"I love that. Can I kiss you?"

"Later. I'm driving."

"I'll just kiss this instead." Jongin got Taemin's hand and kissed it even if they are bundled in thick coats since it's winter.

They got back home after dropping Jongin's luggages at his dorm and the excited new couple went straight to the bedroom.

"Okay. So now what do we do?"

"Let's just lay down. I'm tired. Your luggages are heavy."

"What do you expect with winter clothes? Light as a feather? Aigoo Taeminnie. My Taeminnie. Wow. It sounds better now."

"Wow hahaha. My Jonginnie is becoming so cheesy. Eotteokhae? You miss me so much?"

"I do. I really miss you." The two lovers got in an eye contact, both were surprised that they have sparkling eyes.

"I miss your forehead, your eyes, your nose, your super chubby cheeks, your invisible dimple, your wide philtrum, your unshaved chin hahaha, your sharp jaw, your Luhan-scented neck and your little hands. I love you so much." Jongin lovingly caressed Taemin's cheeks.

"Okay. I miss your super thick SKIN aigoo. Kidding aside, this is the one I truly miss. You as a whole." Taemin leaned closer to kiss Jongin lightly on his lips. Jongin was surprised even if it was only a smack but he was very happy with it.

"Ya you look like a girl with the entirety of her blush stick smothered on her face! It's time to remove your otherworldly gorgeous makeup, Mr. Gucci. Wash up so we could sleep." Taemin mocked at Jongin's flushed face.

"Sleep when it's 4pm? Wow."

"I was jetlagged, you know. _You say good morning when it's midnight. Going out of my head alone in my bed. I wake up to your sunset and it's driving me mad, I miss you so bad and my heart heart heart is so jetlagged.._"

"But I still have insomnia! Aigoo." Jongin tried his best to hug Taemin but Taemin pushed him towards the bathroom.

"What insomnia? You are low battery at 3% and you're saying you have an insomnia? No. You have to get charged by your original and one and only energy and power source so palliiii and wash up. I love you!"

"I love you Taemiiiiiii." Jongin just hummed as he washed himself quick while Taemin was all smiles waiting for Jongin. The day has been long already even if it's only 4pm. Taemin have seen Baekhyun at the most unexpected time and he also got to meet Jongin's ex boyfriend Chanyeol, who turned out to be the one Baekhyun chose over him. If he was still moving on from Baekhyun, he would've cried or walked out of the same scene but he stood beside Jongin, and also fought back when they were insulted. He was able to experience the taste of sweet revenge by finally acknowledging that he have really let go of his ex, and most especially getting official with his new love who loves him back.

Taemin and Jongin have slept hugging each other, with Jongin's face nestled on Taemin's head sniffing his cool water scented shampoo and Taemin's face buried on Jongin's neck. Of course, with their arms hugging each other's waist and with it getting unmoved while sleeping from 4pm to 7pm, they had it paralyzed.

"Aigoo eotteokhae. What time is it? Oh.. 7pm.. Jonginnie, wake up now. We still have to cook dinner." Taemin, always the first one to open his eyes, have inhaled Jongin's neck but it made him sleepy again so he got out of his hug and laid down on top of Jongin so he could feel his weight and wake up.

"Jongiiiin.. I'm hungry. Let's go and cook dinner.."

"I'm not hungry.. go and cook for yourself."

"Aish jinjja. Should I tickle you?"

"No.." but Taemin is mischievous and with one attempt to tickle Jongin's sides, he moved away from Taemin.

"Ya I'm not yet fully charged. My power source got detached.." Jongin pouted and whined cutely so Taemin pinched his cheeks even if he was already half awake.

"See who's asking for more bed time when you questioned my decision to sleep at 4pm? Huh? Aigoo my Jonginnie. We have to get up, we could recharge later."

"Promise me you'll charge me up fully later."

"Yes I will. Ah you're so cute! Good morning my Jonginnie. I love you!" Taemin smiled and gave him a kiss on the corner of his mouth. He smiled but he was annoyed so he acted like a brat.

"Why didn't you kiss me?"

"Well I kissed you, just not on your lips. If you get up and help me cook then maybe I'll change my mind." Of course, Jongin stood up like lightning and gave Taemin a backhug.

"Morning my Taeminnie. I love you!" He turned Taemin to him and kissed him on his lips. At first it was just a smack but Jongin pressed his lips deeper. Taemin didn't flinch and enjoyed the kiss until they both pulled away because they might change their mind and completely stay at Taemin's room to kiss all night.

"Got a goodnight sleep, eh? Didn't know you'd get to experience jetlag because of a flight from Busan.." Sehun who was cutting the Kimchi from the airtight container exclaimed.

"Hahahahaha aigoo oppa. The two of you look blooming.. you're not wearing makeup, aren't you?"

"I already took my makeup off before I slept." Jongim innocently replied.

"I do not wear makeup when I'm at home, you brat." Taemin rolled his eyes.

"Oh yeah. The two of you look like tomatoes. Rotten tomatoes."

"Ah she still haven't changed right? Tsk."

"I forgot. Congratulations to the two of you!!! Later on I'll see Luhannie for the first time. Yey. So how does it feel to give birth to a baby at the fresh age of 20?" Jongin just smiled as he remembered about the blessing the couple received.

"Should I explain how it went word by word?"

"Haha. Well what I mean is now you know how painful it is, so don't get too carried away with the pleasures of sex. Because the outcome would be seriously painful. But even if it's painful, it's worth it. Right Hayi? Right Sehun?" Jongin cooed, mocking the young couple a bit but hoping they've learned their lesson.

"Yes. Ah, it feels so nice to have a son. Congratulations to you too, Jongin because you're an uncle now.."

"Yes and maybe with Luhannie, I could practice taking care of a baby."

"Uhm oppa, can I ask you a question? This may be a very personal one and I'll understand if you won't answer it but.. do you want to have a baby in the future?" Hayi was curiois but her question got Taemin curious too.

"I want to take care of a baby someday, someone that would call me daddy and someone who would welcome me home after a long tiring day. Yes, I do want to have a baby in the future."

"Have you also thought of having a relationship with a girl? I mean making babies with a girl or something.."

"That haven't crossed my mind yet haha as long as I'll get to have a baby in the future, maybe I won't mind about how it would be fulfilled. I don't know, I may ask for artificial insimmination or surrogacy, or maybe adoption. I could adopt abandoned angels that are worthy of love. I'll be glad to shower them the gifts of life so they won't feel unwanted." Taemin was trying hard not to smile so obvious with what Jongin have told them but he failed. He just intertwined his hand to Jongin's hand under the table that means he's so proud of his love.

"Aw. You know what, you could be an ideal boyfriend. Really. Why don't you date Taemin oppa?" The couple froze because Hayi still thinks that they'd be a great couple.

"Ya wae geurae? Why me?"

"Why? You don't want to date him? I mean he's good looking, he could tolerate you, he could tame the monster in you and he could knock you out when the two of you drink. Hahaha. Ah Jongin oppa, have you seen Sehun's video of Taemin? Haha."

"Ah ya Lee Hayi!! Oh Sehun just try to show that or I'll seriously kill you."

"Why me? Well even if I don't show it, Jongin knows about it. You're the only one drunk that time and we've seen it all. How you became the super-tamed Taem going around and sticking your butt nowhere far from Jongin. Aigoo."

"Anyways, how about you oppa? Any plans of settling down or having a baby? I mean, Kyuri unnie have her baby girl, and I have my baby boy. Soon, Jonghyun oppa would get married and would eventually have kids. Have you thought about it?"

"You're too young to ask that and I am also still young to answer that. I want to settle down, of course with someone I love but I won't rush. I'm only going 22, I still have 8 years to think about it. Then babies.. as much as I want to have someone who would roam around that is half me and half the one I love, it's impossible. I never liked girls and I'm pretty sure I'll end up with a guy I love and a guy who loves me. So maybe I could also do what Jongin will do by the time comes. Or I could just take care of my nieces and nephews from the three of you."

"Aw. I never thought you'd be a very lovable uncle. Wow. The two of you really share the same brain cell. It gives me chills. Woah."

"Uhm actually, Sehun, Hayi.."

"What's that Taemin oppa?"

"Umh.." Taemin looked away as he slowly lifted his hands that is intertwined with Jongin's hands.

"Jongin and I.. uhm we.. we just started dating."

"Eh?"

"What kind of reaction was that?! EH?"

"Ey the two of you must really share the same braincell for trapping us on this hidden camera prank. Sorry, you can't mock us. You could always pretend that you're dating in front of us!"

"But it's true! I love Jongin so much! Right my Jonginnie?"

"Yes. And I love Taemin too! My Taeminnie is so cute."

"Oh my gosh Sehun ah I think I'm gonna puke. The two of you are good actors, really."

"Ya are you pregnant again?!?!?!"

"Ania! But seriously, you two.."

"We ARE dating!!! We just decided to try it just before we arrived home!"

"Weh? Seriously? Can we see some proof? You might really just be trolling us."

"What proof?"

"Something intimate! Yes. Something that can't be faked by actors!"

"Okay. Jonginnie, I love you!" Taemin said those words looking at Jongin's eyes and kissed him on his lips. Hayi and Sehun cringed but they were not convinced.

"Ah, sadly it's only a one sided prank. It's obvious that Jongin oppa is just playing along so you won't be caught. Sorry, you can't fool me."

"Besides, actors could kiss any woman they are told to kiss. Cancelled."

"What kind of proof are you asking for so you'd believe us? You wanted us to date each other but now that we are indeed dating, you don't believe us! Aigoo these two."

"whatever. We won't push it anymore. It's okay. You could drop off the skit. Cut! Good take!! Sugoisumnida!!" Luhan started to cry so Sehun went and got him. Baby boy is awakened now and it's the first time Jongin saw him in person. Jongin looked so happy to see a baby boy that came from his friends and he looks so precious carrying a 1 month old baby.

"He's so cute! Every baby is cute! I'll just comment on his overall features when he gets older. Uwaaah. Hello Luhannie! I'm uncle Jongin. I'm your uncle Taem's love and I love uncle Taem too. When your mom and dad is out, we'll take care of you ara?"

"Sehun ah."

"Maybe it's already an off screen love. Eotteokhae?"

"Did Taemin oppa got out of the single club?"

"I guess so. That means.."

"Omo!! Okay. Oh my gosh, congratulations to the two of you!!! Finally, you got a grip on both yourselves and agreed to date!! I'm so happy!! Taemin oppa would finally get laid!!!"

"Ya Lee Hayi!!!! Your mouth!"

"Ya Lee Taemin, she's already Oh Hayi now! Ah this old man can't even remember that his sister already married me?" Sehun snapped onto his best friend and laughed.

"She still have the 'Lee' blood so she's still Lee Hayi. Ahhh jinjja."

"That's okay. You're turning 22, maybe it's about time. Go for it oppa!!! We'll root for you!! And Jongin oppa, fighting!!!"

"Hahaha thanks."

"Ya you're really embarassing!! Ah jinjja." Taemin and Jongin are both so red now, like rotten tomatoes smashed against a white wall. Their cheeks seems like going to pop too because of the couple's teasing.

"Ah jinjja. Oh my gosh finally!!! Disney Goddess Lee Kyuri, Rock God Lee Jonghyun, Princess Lee Hayi, Prince Oh Sehun and of course, our precious Oh Luhan!!! Banzai!!!!! Taemin will finally get laid!!!"

"Ya stop it! Jongin might be uncomfortable!"

"Are you uncomfortable oppa?"

"No. Taemin is."

"See. Hahahah. Oh my gosh. This year is Lee Taemin's year!! Oye! Ah. It's nice to know that you have really really really thought of dating each other. You complement each other so well and it'll be a pity if you won't end up together."

"Well even if I only know Jongin in less than a year, I could say that he's better than Baekhyun."

"Yes I agree. That guy was too self centered. He loves himself too much. He's a user."

"How come you call him a user?"

"Taemin oppa got calls from producers to debut as a singer but it was Baekhyun's dream. He wanted to be a singer so he discouraged Taemin oppa for it, just to find out that he went to the recording company to give his sample recordings. Sadly for him, he was rejected."

"And Taemin! Don't forget that he still have a file folder of some of the songs you made. He might sell that out and not give you credits. That's your property and he owes you every count of royalty for that."

"I don't care about that anymore. Besides, I'm completely over him and I was able to get revenge to him. I slapped him twice."

"What?!?! Where? When?"

"Just this morning. The fucking ex of mine would be debuting as a model. Jongin worked with him and the person he chose over me. Guess who? Jongin's ex."

"MWO?!?!?!"

"Yup. My ex and Jongin's ex are together. They dumped us to pursue each other. Two heartless fuckers fell in lust."

"Well if that's the case then it's good! You don't deserve Baekhyun and Jongin oppa doesn't deserve that ex too. And well thanks to them, you've found each other. Oh my Hunnie, I think we just witnessed a very colorful love story. Woah. I salute the two of you. You fixed each other and now you get to love each other. I'm very happy for the both of you. I'm serious oppa."

"Thank you, Hai Hai."

"But I won't forget to celebrate that Lee Taemin will eventually get laid. Sorry Byun Baekhyun, you're cancelled!! Kim Jongin have won Taemin!!"

"Ya Lee Hayi!!"


	5. °깊은 이해 // Deeper Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21170762/chapters/new#

Taemin and Jongin became closer since they started dating and they got so drunk in love that they are inseperable even at home. There are times that Jongin's head is on Taemin's lap then vice versa, while Sehun was just getting giddy because his best friend is happy again. Sometimes Hayi would ask her two oppas to look after her baby Luhan but then they only end up looking at each other. 

When Taemin performs, Jongin always have a surprise mini bouquet of flowers for him. Taemin also visit Jongin when he have shoots within Seoul. One time, he even cooked Jongin's snacks and got some treats for his staffs. Even Kai's crew approved of Taemin as they could see the happy love glow radiating from Jongin which makes Kai's pictures ethereal.

"I like the concept of your latest shoot. Narcissist. It's very you. Hahaha."

"Whatever. By the way, the silvanas are awesome!! Do we have some at home?"

"We'll see if the two rats named Sehun and Hayi didn't eat it all. Maybe they'll blame the baby rat Luhan for that."

"Taemin, thank you. Thanks for all your efforts. You make my heart so happy."

"Well I did that because I want you to feel how I love you. It's one of the little things I could do so you won't fall for other good looking models out there."

"Aigoo. Are you jealous? Ah! Is that the reason why you visited? You only want to make sure that I am not cheating on you? Hahahaha."

"Ania! You seem to be very close to them though. You almost kiss the girl then the guy is almost touching your butt.. you seem to like it too.."

"Ah. You're not jealous. Okay."

"No I am not. Hmmp."

"Yeah right. But still, thanks. You're the only one who have done so much efforts for me. Back then, we would just eat somewhere else and buy everything with our money or vouchers. It was only luxury but now, it's more of effort and love. You pour yourself to everything you do for me, and I am overwhelmed with that."

"You're welcome. You do the same for me too, and I am really thankful that I get to love you."

Jongin was so happy that night so he went out to buy a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream and Bailey's Chocolate Luxe.

"Jonginnie, where did you go?"

"Just went to the conveniece store. Got some drinks for us."

"What drinks?"

"Later you'll know."

"Okay. I'll just cook our dinner ara?"

"Sure love." Taemin went to the kitchen to prepare for a steak and chicken dinner with bacon, mushroom and mashed potatoes, an early celebration of their 100th day the following day. Taemin have decided to start the celebration on the night of the 99th day so they could stay up and greet each other at midnight.

Jongin on the other hand, have prepared his gift for Taemin, a box of blue and black roses ordered overseas, and the bottles of Bailey's. He wants to drink alcohol with Taemin but doesn't want to taste the bitterness of it so he chose Irish Cream Whiskey flavored with chocolate cream. He arranged his set-up mini date at the rooftop porch overlooking the sky full of stars, also prepared a tent and a mini artificial bonfire. He also got tubs of ice cream they could enjoy if they want something sweet and cold.

"Jonginnie, dinner is ready! Let's eat before it gets cold."

"Yes love!" When Jongin arrived at the kitchen, he was surprised for Taemin's arranged date venue as if they're on a posh restaurant, with all the new tablewares and cutleries taken out for him. Red rose petals are also scattered on the floor, complete with well-lit candles that gave off a more romantic mood.

"Well, happy 99th and later on, Happy 100th day, my love! I never thought I'd be given a chance to be with you and to be loved by you. Thank you so much for being with me all this time, since I started my new life. I love you!"

"Oh my gosh how did you prepare everything in a very short period of time? Woah, you're a magician! Hehe. Yes, happy 99th and later, Happy 100th day to us! I love you so much, Taemin. Thank you for giving me a good life. If you've ignored me that time, I might've been crazily weeping and waiting for Chanyeol until now. But look at us, we've surpassed our 100 days together. Thank you so much, Taemin and I really, really, really love you."

"Thank you, love. Let's eat! I got 2 ribeye steaks for each of us and then your favorite, fried chicken. Here, mashed potatoes for my baby and bacon!"

"Baekhyun?"

"No! Bacon not Baekhyun."

"Good good. Good boy."

After some chats and dinner, Taemin took out a pint of ice cream. Jongin was surprised because it is a cross of both their favorites, it's Strawberry Cheese Cake flavored.

"Wow that must be so delicious! Woah. Thank you for this!"

"Looks like this ice cream works. Now it won't feel greasy if I kiss you. Hehe."

"Kiss me, please."

"Okay. I love you, Jongin." Taemin held Jongin's face and kissed him lovingly. Taemin became a bit adventurous that the smack got deeper. He sucked on Jongin's equally thick lips, started to include his tongue on the kiss, sucked Jongin's tongue and started a steamy makeout session with french kisses. It was all stopped when Jongin pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I think I just need to go to the bathroom."

"You like it?" Jongin just nodded and excused himself but Taemin followed him and also went inside the bathroom. When Jongin took his cock out, it was already angry red. He was so aroused with the steamy makeout session that his cock got too hard, it's ready for fucking.

"I'll help you. Come here." Taemin knelt down and licked the head of Jongin's cock even before he could say anything. Taemin took Jongin's big cock slowly inside his mouth until it's settled, and pushed his head forward and backward so the glorious cock would be well squeezed. He also made sure to swallow some of his own saliva that gave Jongin a better and tighter sensation.

"Ah Taeminnie oh my gosh!! Uwah! Uh, again. Aouuuhh. Ouuh.." Jongin's sexy moans rasonated the bathroom walls as Taemin fastened his pace. He could feel that Jongin is about to cum so he gave him a deep throat allowing Jongin to thrust by himself and release everything. Taemin slowly let go of Jongin's cock by not applying any pressure and lick his lips off from any other fluids.

"Oh my gosh that was so hot! We should've done this before. Hehe. Wow."

"Best blow ever?"

"Yes. Indeed my Taeminnie. Thank you."

"How about me?"

"What about you?"

"That's my gift to you. Where's my gift?"

"Uhm okay I'll spoil it to you then. I also have a mini event upstairs. I got your gift there but I could also give you a voucher. You could only use that when you're emotionally and physically ready."

"I'll give it to you. I've already decided.." Taemin got heated again that he have started to lightly suck on Jongin's neck.

"But Taemin, are you sure about that?"

"Yes! Yes love! I'm ready."

"I just released a lot. Let me rest a bit. Or would you like to fuck me first? So you'd also know the feeling.."

"Would you be okay?"

"I would be very grateful for that! I want you to fuck me. It's been a long time since my last. Hehe."

"Can you teach me how?"

"Sure." Jongin and Taemin resumed in making out again until they arrived at the bedroom. One of Jongin's gift for Taemin is a bag full of lube with different flavors. He got one and kissed Taemin again. They only paused to take each other's clothes off and resumed kissing. When Jongin touched Taemin's cock, he was a bit startled but eventually became comfortable with it.

"Oh wow. Hi! Nice to meet you! Let me kiss you first." Jongin kissed, licked and sucked Taemin's big cock a little before he got a handful of lube on his hands and spread it personally on Taemin's cock. It felt like a handjob without the pressure so Taemin felt good as well, but he have to hold it in so he could last long.

"Jonginnie.. palli."

"And then I would also have to get myself lubed. Like this." Jongin bent down halfway to coat his opening with lube and to also stretch himself with his own fingers.

"Now that everything's ready, we could resume."

"Okay. I love you. Please guide me."

"Don't worry love. I'll be okay. I'll guide you too." They kissed again until Jongin laid down. Taemin started to pepper Jongin's body with kisses, and one last on Jongin's cock head before he aligned himself.

"Ready baby? I'll be going in. Tell me if I have to stop."

"If I tell you to stop, don't pull out okay?"

"Okay love. I'll be going in.." Taemin successfuly got the head of his cock inside Jongin's hole and it was already making him feel good. Jongin is also moaning in pleasure since it's been a while since he got fucked. He felt Taemin going deeper and deeper which makes him moan louder.

"Are you still okay?"

"Yes I am. You could move now but not too hard."

"Alright." Taemin began to move and Jongin was sent to heaven. Taemin's cock was big, thick and long for his body built but he's not complaining.

"Oh my aaahhh. Yes Taemin yes!! Just like that!!!" He was so pleasured and aroused by the way Taemin moves. He could also hear Taemin groaning. Jongin is tight since it's been a while since he was fucked but Taemin liked it that way.

"Yes Taemin! Yes! There oh my gosh I love you so much!" Jongin's mind was blown away with the high of becoming one with Taemin. His thrusts got faster and wilder and eventually, Taemin came inside Jongin. When Taemin pulled his cock out, Jongin immediately took it to his mouth and sucked it like a marshmallow.

"Woah. So that's how it feels. It was great. Did I pleasure you, love? Did I do a great job?"

"Yes love! You're so good! You learned fast and you've also reached all the spots perfectly! Oh wow and you released a lot! Look! Your cum is running down my thighs."

"Sorry that you're dirty now."

"No worries love, because we'd get dirtier later."

"Do you like it? What can you say about my performance?"

"It was intoxicating, it's addicting and it's the best. I love it so much! And I love you!! Oh my gosh I've never fucked that way before. Well then baby, it'll be your turn later okay?"

"I'll get myself ready."

After cuddling and making out, when Jongin was aroused enough, he proceeded to get Taemin ready for his first penetration.

"Jonginnie.. I'm nervous.."

"Would you like to back out? It's okay. We can do this when you're fully ready."

"Anio! I'm nervous but I'll be okay. I'll give it to you.. please take me.."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! Yes love! Take me!! Fill me up just like what I did to you earlier. I want to feel you fill me. I want you.." Taemin caught Jongin's face and kissed him hungrily with open mouth kisses, made out wildly until he laid down the bed. Jongin knows that Taemin is dead nervous but if he really want to feel the pleasure of love and sex, he have to experience opening up.

"Okay love. I'll help you. Just relax okay? We'll do it all nice and slow so you and your body could adapt. Uhm, if you think it's a bit painful, kiss me okay so I would stop or slow down."

"Okay. I trust you, Jongin." Taemin held Jongin's arm as Jongin hovered him with his head directly above him so he could kiss Jongin when it's too painful.

"I love you, Taemin." Jongin got his fingers and Taemin's opening coated with lube. Once he thinks he's well lubed, he slowly inserted his index finger in.

"Are you okay? Is it painful?"

"Uhm not really. Go ahead love. Uuuhhhmm." Taemin moaned when Jongin proceeded to insert his index finger fully and to pull it out slowly. He could see that Taemin likes it so he started to thrust the same finger in and out. Taemin held Jongin's shoulders to pull him closer.

"How does it feel?"

"It feels foreign but tolerable."

"I'll add one. It may start to hurt.." and as he added his middle finger along with his index, Taemin whimpered. After a while of slowly thrusting his two fingers in and out of Taemin, he could hear him moan so he tried scissoring, to which Taemin also felt painful at first until it becomes tolerable.

"Are you okay? You think you could take me?"

"Yes I will. I want you, Jongin. I want your cock. I'm thirsty and hungry for it. Fuck I'm even starving.."

"Okay. What you wish is what you'll get." Jongin lubed up his cock and was already hard, so he didn't waste time. He lined up to Taemin's opening and slowly penetrated his love. He got the head inside first and Taemin whimpered because of a bigger and wider stretch. He slowly went in until Taemin could take all of him inside. Taemin kissed him as it is painful, with tears slipping out of his eyes but after a few unstable kiss, Taemin have kissed him sweetly.

"Fucking fuck you're so tight you're squeezing me dry!! Seems like you're well adapted now, love. Can I move now?"

"Yes love. Please move." Little did Taemin know, after the pain of opening up and being torn apart, is the feeling of heavenly pleasure and raw love. Jongin slowly thrusted with some of Taemin's mini whimpers, gradually gaining speed as Taemin advanced into moaning. Taemin eventually liked being penetrated and fucked that he moans so loud.

"Oh my gosh yes! Wow Jongin oohh!! Uhh yes go yeah oh my gosh!!" He even moaned like a girl.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it!! Yes I love it, I love you and I love your cock so much!! I love getting fucked by you!! Wow!!"

"Would you mind if I go harder?"

"I'll try to keep up with you.."

"I love you, Taeminnie."

"I love you, Jonginnie." Jongin lifted up Taemin's legs to hang onto his shoulders and fucked Taemin harder with his cock brushing on Taemin's prostate, making him scream Jongin's name. Jongin continued until he came inside Taemin as he kissed Taemin sweetly. He gave Taemin a handjob too so he could reach his climax so both of them came together.

"Wow that was intense!! You're really so tight! As expected from a virgin."

"Oh my gosh. You split me in half but I love it. Wow. You're so good and thank you.."

"No. Thank you for trusting me your first. Because of that, I love you more."

"I promise to love you more and never less."

"I love you and I'll love you like how you'll love me. Happy 100 days, and happy anniversary to us!"

"Anniversary?"

"Yup! I wasn't here when it's been 1 year since we met. So happy 100 days and happy anniversary to us!"

"Should we count from the day we first met? Besides, you coming into my life and giving a new reason to live have been the first day I started loving you."

"That would be good. When I allowed you to enter my life, I have started loving you too."

"Deal. Happy anniversary to us!"

Jongin was at a meeting for another project when a new catalogue was presented. He was surprised to see a catalogue with Baekhyun as a front cover model.

"We got you a cover shoot with a cover story interview for an international magazine. But the theme is a bit new to you."

"Tell me about it."

"Well it's for Valentines so it's for a couple shoot. You could tell us your partner recommendation and we'll try to get that model to agree."

"Uhm can I suggest someone who isn't really a model but could eventually help me with this?"

"We just hope we don't have to pay so much. It's okay as long as you're comfortable with your preferred partner."

"Thank you so much!! Ah, may I take a look on that catalogue?"

"Sure. That's Privé New York's new collection with their own Creative Director as the main model. He's Byun Baekhyun."

"I think I've already met him.."

"He went on a joint shoot with Tommy Hilfiger's Toby Park Chanyeol for the Spring/Summer collection. I think you were also there."

"Ah yes! Now, I remember. Yeah, I indeed met him."

"If you have any questions regarding the shoot, you could always send a message okay?"

"Thank you, Director."

Jongin got a new scoop from his ex Chanyeol's new boyfriend and found out that he's a creative director of that new label from New York. He just doesn't know if he have to tell Taemin about it, his ex being a creative director of a clothing line and being an official model for it.

"Jonginnie, what's wrong?"

"Hm? Why?"

"You became suspiciously silent today. Are you okay? Are you not feeling well?"

"I'm okay. It's just about work.. and I don't think you don't have to know that anymore."

"So it's about work.. you're a model and there's your model ex boyfriend Chanyeol. Did he do something to you again?"

"No no that's not it. It's not about Chanyeol. Actually, it's Baekhyun."

"Ah. Just let him be. If he wanted to pursue modelling then let him. If he wants to pursue being a singer, then let him too. I mean, I've already took that person out of my life since he said goodbye so I don't think I would have to get affected by anything he does. If he's in lust with somebody else, let them fuck each other to hell."

"So you're really over him?"

"What made you think I'm still not over him? Is my love for you not enough to know and feel that I love you?"

"Anio anio! I was just teasing and testing you."

"No! You're doubting my love! Stay away from me!"

"Love, I'm just joking!! Aigoo my Taeminnie is throwing a fit."

"That's not funny! You know how soft and sensitive I am! I'm still mad so get away from me." But the more Taemin push Jongin away, the more Jongin clings to him.

"I'm so sorry love. Hey, look at me. I'm sorry okay? Okay from now on, I won't care about him. It would be as if they never existed. Okay? Please don't be mad at me.."

"No.. I still don't love you enough. I'm sorry."

"Baby, you do! You even shower me overflowing love! It overflows from my heart and it spreads throughout me! To my whole being! You know and you can see how happy I am with you. And you are enough for me as much as I am enough for you to completely forget about your past. Remember, we are each other's first new people when we started our new lives. And we are still together showering love to each other. That's what matters, right? I'm sorry, I should've known that you'll get sulky over a joke."

"Tsktsk. Okay but get off me."

"Baby please?" Jongin pouted and pleaded with his eyes but it didn't work so he kissed Taemin's cheeks.

"I'm serious! Just get off me. I understand you and I'm not mad anymore but please, get off me."

"Why?! You don't want me to kiss you anymore?"

"I'm so touched and I'm having a boner so get off me! Aish. Give me a moment to cool down. Jebal."

"No! I'll help you with that boner then. And guess what? I'm having a boner too."

"Nooo.."

"Yes Taemin!!"

"Love?"

"Um?"

"Can I ask you a favor?"

"As long as I can afford then it's okay."

"I want you to be my partner."

"I'm already your partner, you twat! Are you going to talk about Baekhyun again?"

"Of course no! But yes, you are my partner but I want to you be my partner meaning I want to do a shoot with you."

"Fucking shoot what?!"

"For a magazine. As in you and me on the cover and then we'll also get interviewed for the cover story."

"But I'm not a model! Besides, they must have someone in mind for that already.."

"That shoot is for Valentines, just so you know. And they would've paired me with a girl or someone I used to know."

"But.."

"All you have to do is pose with me wearing something from the brand I am an ambassador at, and then we'll be asked some questions."

"But wouldn't that mean you will publicly announce your sexual preference?"

"Well not really, because they will ask my love life and your love life in general. No need to mention for names, and they would never know that we are talking about each other. That's how it goes every Valentines season."

"But I'm-"

"Please baby? Pretty pretty please? I mean we'd have an immortalized version of our couple photo! You don't like that?"

"I like the idea but I don't know if they would consider me though."

"Then let's make a bet. Let's go to the shoot and ask all of the crew if you fit with the concept. If you win because you do not fit to be my partner then you could have your wish of abstinence. If I win then you'll allow me to have you whenever I ask for it. That's the deal."

"Ya I didn't even agree with you! You're so unfair!"

"Please? I love you Taemin. Kaja, let's continue. I'm having a boner again."

"Jongin!!"

Technically Jongin won because that is his own crew and whatever he says, they'll do so after the official shoot, they got some personal couple photo collection. The photographer loved their visuals so he agreed to give them the masterpieces they created. The crew also applauded as they told them "you two look alike now, you look so in love".

"Oh hohohohello. Oh? Oppa? Taemin oppa? You're wearing makeup now?" Of course, Taemin's sister Hayi instinctively teased him as soon as he set foot at their house.

"Yes and why not? I have to look good enough to be as the same scale as my love."

"Don't tell me you got a modelling stint for this guy, Jongin oppa."

"I did and he's amazing!"

"Oh. Wow."

"What a very heartless reaction. Thank you, Lee Hayi."

"It's Oh Hayi, my brother in law."

"She still have the Lee blood so I don't care. And yes, I worked with Jongin on a project this time."

"But oppa, you do look good. You look like a girl especially with your hair and makeup. You're so pretty!

"Well that's also a concept made earlier. I dressed like a girl so we could somehow have a 'normal' couple photo."

"Did Jongin oppa dress like a girl too?"

"It's for you to find out. Buy the magazine once it comes out.."

"Well the dinner is ready, the two of you could eat dinner. Sehun made that."

"Sehun should only make the chocolate porridge. That's the only good tasting food he ever made."

"Well that's a masterpiece but I came up with a new one. It's called sukiyaki."

"That's good old Lee Jonghyun's recipe so it's bound to taste good."

"Oh my gosh Jonginnie let's eat! That's my favorite!!"

"But really Taemin.. you look like a bulkier Hayi with your makeup hahaha."

"Well Taemin oppa is really my guy version so I couldn't agree more."

Taemin and Jongin chomped on every meat, vegetable and soup at the sukiyaki Sehun made and they never felt good eating his dishes their whole life.

"But you know what love, you really look beautiful."

"Shut up or I'll show you how manly I am."

"How?"

"What how? Uhm.. fighting! Wrestling! Like that."

"We could do that on the bed. Hehe."

"Ania! Not that kind of fighting!! No.."

"If I know you're getting a boner just thinking about it. Hahahaha."

"Just eat! Aigoo."

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	6. 치명적인 매력 // Fatal Attraction

By the time the international magazine Jongin and Taemin was featured, a local magazine have released an issue with Baekhyun debuting as a singer with Chanyeol as his manager.

"The fuck? His boyfriend is his manager? This is so funny. Look." Jongin was sarcastically laughing because of the absurdity of Baekhyun debuting as a model then suddenly debuting as a singer. What suspects him more is the fact that he made his boyfriend Chanyeol his manager.

"That fucker is using Chanyeol. Good luck then."

"Taemin!! Have you seen the article on the internet?" Sehun suddenly barged inside Taemin's room, good thing he and Jongin aren't having sex.

"What? And you should knock on the door first! We might've been making out or something then you'd get alarmed!"

"Sorry. But Baekhyun would be debuting as a singer soon!"

"I know. We saw his featured cover shoot on a magazine. And so what if he'll become a singer now? I mean that's his dream even before."

"But he might use your songs!"

"I don't care about it anymore. And that's roughly 3 songs? Just let him be."

"Taemin, you do know how much is paid to a producer for royalties right? Why would you just let him get away with it?"

"Because I don't want to see his face again. There's no need for that. And I could write more songs in the future, I wouldn't waste time interacting with someone over something that is superficial."

"Wow. Okay. I just hope you won't regret it when your song became famous. I have warned you about this so if ever that happens, blame yourself."

"Yes I will if that would happen.."

"Wow, confident.'

"I am."

Jongin was a bit bothered about what Sehun told Taemin so he hired someone to investigate on the songs Baekhyun would be releasing for his debut album and he got some information from the studio itself, that the three tracks Baekhyun would be releasing was from his own files, not from the studio's song bank. Without Taemin's knowledge, he made plans to get everything handled by meeting Baekhyun's boyfriend and manager Chanyeol.

"Yes how may I help- oh. Jongin?" Chanyeol was surprised to see Jongin on his office by the recording studio.

"Never expected to see me again?"

"Yes. Never I have thought that I'd see you here. Yes what can I do for you? Uhm if you're here to tell me to come back to you, sorry but that won't happen."

"Sorry to burst your bubble but I don't want you back. I am here because of your boyfriend Baekhyun. I just found out that 3 of the songs he would release were original compositions of my boyfriend and his ex Lee Taemin. I am just telling you to at least give credits to him as the original composer, arranger and lyricist for those three songs."

"What if I tell you I don't want to?"

"Then I could call Taemin, do those songs again and I'll accompany him to the Intellectual Property Rights division of Korea. The songs would be his, and you'd have to seek permission for him first by paying a huge sum of money. If you'll release it without paying him credits and not buying that music from him, we will sue you for plagiarism. Either way, you would have to pay him respect and royalties. You choose."

"Jjamkkan. Maybe we could talk about this and not take this to court. I mean, it's just Baekhyun's dream to be a singer. No harm done, and he told me Taemin have entrusted those songs to him."

"That's why I'm telling you to at least give him credits and get him paid for royalties. It'd be a win win situation. Or we could push through with it and we'll just file a lawsuit against your artist. Baekhyun would be on the headlines if that happened:_ 'Rookie singer accused of plagiarism from former songwriter boyfriend and stole songs to live his dream as a singer'_. Would you like that?"

"Oh okay okay. I'll give credits to him. And he would get the royalties for the three songs. I don't want complicated scenarios and I don't want to get our name tainted by a lawsuit. Okay, we'll make sure to include him."

"Thanks. I'll look forward to that and make sure to include the name Lee Taemin. I'll give you the account number of his bank account."

"Alright."

"Next time, tell your artist not to be too greedy of fame. Being a user and being an ungrateful user would be the cause of his downfall. Be a man and do what you have promised. We could get those songs copyrighted and trademarked as soon as possible and you'd get sued."

"Yes I will. I'll stay true to my words."

When Baekhyun's album got released, Sehun was hysterical at Taemin's room.

"See? I told you he'll use your songs! You should've got the royalties for that! It's fucking topping the charts!"

"It's okay, I could still make new songs better than those."

"But not all songs that you'll make could top the charts! Aigoo."

"Be quiet. Your son might cry again."

"So what would you do now? Just sit and chill while your songs Ice Prince, Diamond and Psycho are topping the charts? Wow. How I wish I have made that or at least I should've threatened them. Those songs would pay off a lot that could be enough for you to have your brand new car or a house of your own in Japan."

"Sehun, you know too well that I don't have plans to live there. I could just visit them but permanently moving to Japan is not in my plans. Especially Jongin's here."

"Well that could've been an addition to your trust fund, as a capital for a business, for your future or for anything that you like."

"Sehun, I'm not after the money."

"I am actually not after the money but the recognition itself. I can't imagine someone taking the credits of the song topping the charts when they didn't even contribute any beat or word for it! You know why? Because you deserve it. You deserve to be recognized. You are not meant to be kept in the dark. You are not meant to be used and taken for granted. You don't have to settle for less when you could have more."

"Thank you for thinking of me, Sehun but I am really okay even if I won't get credited. I'll let it go and just let karma get back at them for me. And I don't care about him anymore."

"Ah what should I do with you? You're too good for people that's why Baekhyun have taken you for granted. Well you could still do one thing now that it's released. You could file a lawsuit and demand for the rights."

"No Sehun. It's okay to let those songs go. I don't want to think about those kinds of things as much as to be involved with Baekhyun again."

After a month of Baekhyun topping the charts with all 3 of Taemin's songs, Jongin was happy because Chanyeol fulfilled his promise. Taemin's new bank account is now filled with million wons of royalty fees for only the three songs.

"It feels good to have helped Taemin with this. This could help him so he won't have to struggle financially and he would be recognized as a genius for making those songs. I'm very relieved." Jongin smiled as he checked the rise of royalty fees on Taemin's name continued to increase. Now, he would just have to wait for Taemin's birthday so he could present this special gift.

The night before Taemin's birthday, they went to an ice cream date and stayed at Jongin's loft. For a change, they went away from Sehun, Hayi and Luhan so they could enjoy their time together more privately.

Taemin was awakened because of Jongin's kisses on his plump lips, and his love was wearing a happy birthday apron while holding a heart-shaped metallic blue balloon and a junior cheddar cheese cake that says 22.

"Oh my gosh Jonginnie.."

"Happy birthday, Taeminnie my love! Happy 23rd birthday!! I made this cake for you."

"Jinjja? You made this?"

"Yup. When I stayed here, I am practicing my surprises for you. And with lots of practice, I was able to master baking this cake exactly a day before your birthday. So here, blow the candle and make a wish."

_"I wish to end up with Jongin and never stop loving him. I love him so much."_ With tears of joy and a smile on his face, he blew the candle and kissed Jongin on his cheek. Jongin gave him the metallic blue balloon with a note 'prick me' and Taemin was dumbfounded.

"What is this?"

"A part of my surprise. But you could do that later. Have a taste of your cake first. And let me greet you again, love. Happy birthday to the best boyfriend I'll ever have. I love you so much and I wish that your wishes would all come true. You deserve everything in the world and of course, me. But kidding aside, I wish you love and happiness and you'll only look at me."

"You could count on that. I am only looking at you. You're the one who looks around."

"Well it's because I have eyes and I see them. Looking at them and seeing them are very different. Looking at them is intentional while seeing them is unintentional because you cannot close your eyes to the things you don't want to see all the time."

"Wow. Defensive."

"Ania. But anyways. Happy Birthday, Taemin. I love you so much."

"And I love you too! This is the best birthday ever. I'm happy to celebrate my birthday with you. Cheers to more, okay? I'd love to celebrate my next birthdays with you."

"I'd be glad to surprise you every year then." Taemin was so happy so he kissed Jongin lovingly until they felt hot and their skin burned. They made each other cool down with birthday sex and lots of blowing.

Taemin was the first one to rise after they fell asleep hugging each other. There's only one slice of cake left and since they didn't eat lunch, he's hungry so he got up to cook.

He watched his love sleep like a baby bear, sweet and innocent but also like a bear, loud and wild especially in bed. He never imagined he would get to love someone like Jongin, someone who have appreciated him, showered him lots of affection and give him all the attention he need. He was blessed after having his heart broken, and was very happy that the man who have mend it was Jongin. Taemin looked around and saw the balloon by the couch. It became long forgotten and he remembered that Jongin told him to prick it to reveal another surprise. Taemin got so curious so he pricked it with a knife and a plastic card fell from it. He looked at it closely and found out that it is a bank card.

"What is this man thinking.. giving me a bank card. Omo? Is this a credit card? Did he apply me for a credit card so I could buy whatever I want? Ania, if it's a credit card, all the bills would be directed to him.. ania it shouldn't be. Or by any means, a debit card with a fixed amount that I could spend.. but this is too much.."

"Taemin?" Jongin groggily sat down on his bed while still half asleep.

"Yes love? I'm here. You're hungry?"

"Yeah. Sorry if we got carried away with the action scenes."

"It's okay. I'm not too sore."

"Yes! We could continue later. I'm well stocked again."

"But before anything else. Can you give me a hug?"

"Hug? Sure. A super tight bear hug from your Nini bear. I love you Taem chicken."

"How could you do this to me."

"Hm? What?"

"This." He finally presented the bank card to Jongin.

"Ah. Yey finally you opened your last surprise."

"Care to tell me what is this?"

"It's a card."

"It's not just a card. It's a bank card. Is this a credit card or debit card?"

"It's a savings card. You could use it as a debit card but it's for your future savings."

"But Jonginnie, giving me some of your earnings is too much! I mean we're still young and.. okay. But this is too much!"

"That's yours and I won't explain further because you'll just get mad at me. I don't want the next rounds of birthday sex to be thrown away."

"I swear if you got thousands of won here, I will break you open and fuck you until you can't walk."

"Uhm, I'll get ready for that later on then."

"Jongin!!!!"

September came and Jongin have to leave Korea for some international fashion shows in London, Paris, Milan and New York. Jongin didn't want to leave but Taemin have pushed him to accept it all with lots of encouragement and cheer.

"This is your dream. Go ahead and fulfill it. I'll always be by your side."

"But that means we'll be away for so long.. I'll seriously miss you!"

"I'll miss you too but don't worry, I'll wait for you. Enjoy your Europe trip and take lots of pictures!"

"Next time, you have to come with me okay?"

"Yes I will. Don't worry about me here. Don't skip meals nor reduce weight, you look better when your face is a bit chubby."

"Anio. You're the cute one because of your chubby face. And your cheeks! Oh my gosh I'll miss that so much."

"I'll always make time for your video calls. Just tell me what time and I'd wake up for you."

"But you should sleep well too!"

"Yes I will. Ah! Here. I got a gift for you. Jjajjaaan!" Taemin gave him a chick plushie that he could use as a pillow to lie on and as a toy to hug and play with.

"When you miss me, you could hug ChickyTaem and it would be as if you've hugged me too."

"Hahaha so we share the same brain cells now? I also got you a present." They both just laughed when they revealed Jongin's gift, a brown bear that is the best friend of the chick Taemin gave him.

"Oh my gosh they're really meant to be. Woah. I'd surely hug Mr. ChocoNini. Thank you."

"Welcome. And I will hug ChickyTaem always too. I'll take him to the fashion shows and use him as an accessory."

"Ania everyone will laugh at you if they saw him."

"How dare could they laugh at my boyfriend ChickyTaem. At least, ChickyTaem is delicious."

"Stop it."

"bone's out. Finally. Kaja."

"What?!?!?!"

After several hours of flight, Jongin have reached their first destination for the schedule of London Fashion Week. All the global ambassadors of the luxury brands were there, including Chanyeol and Baekhyun. He was happy to see a few friends in the industry, but he never expected to see his one longtime crush and first love. Kris Wu, Chinese-Canadian NBA player is also a global ambassador and would be participating the fashion shows with him. When he had the chance, he gathered his courage and went to greet him.

"Uhm hello sir Kris! I'm Kai, one of your fans. I was actually your junior. I debuted in 2010 and had my very first stint in Hong Kong. It's very nice to meet you."

"Oh hello. A junior? That's great! It's Kai, right? Nice to meet you."

"I'm sorry, I've never been starstrucked my whole life. You had been my inspiration and role model since then. I want to be like you."

"And you did a great job because you're now here, and you're now with me so congratulations too."

"Thank you. Ah, you're the global ambassador for Bvlgari, right?"

"Yes, how about you?"

"Gucci."

"Wow that's nice. They made a great decision to get you as their global ambassador. You're handsome, you have nice body proportion."

"Thank you so much, sir."

"No need for the sir. We're all models here, you can call me Kris."

"That's a bit.. I mean, you just met me again today.."

"But we've met in 2010 right? You still have the edge above anybody else. Besides, you're a fan so might as well treat my fan extra special."

"Thank you so much." Jongin was so flustered like a girl that he can't contain his happiness. Kris Wu have been his crush since he was young and the reason he got into modelling and now, they are together as senior-junior for the fashion week.

All the odds have been in Jongin's favor in London since European brand ambassadors were gathered in only one hotel, with Jongin's room and Kris' room across each other.

"Jongin love how are you there? Is it too cold?"

"Taeminnie!! Oh my gosh I miss you! Anio, it's not yet too cold. I could still get by. How are you there?"

"I'm doing fine. Ya how come the bank card you gave me contains millions of won?!"

"I'll explain when I get back okay. That's for your future."

"For our future? Oh my gosh you're so sweet but this is too much! Are you somehow giving me your whole savings so we could join our account?"

"Ah no that's not it! Ah I'll explain when I get back. I'm currently at the hotel room but the ambassadors would be having a press conference later. I'll try to call you again if it's convenient for you or if you're still awake but don't stay up late for that okay? I'd call some other time if I won't be able to do so. I'll have to get ready, I miss you Taeminnie!"

"Just don't skip meals, and remove your makeup before bedtime. And your always forgotten skin care routine! Aigoo. And don't forget to always hug ChickyTaem. Hugging ChickyTaem would also mean hugging me. And I have Mr. ChocoNini here flattened because I hug him so much. I miss you and I love you! Always take care."

"You too. I love you! Byee." 


	7. 신뢰의 배신 // Betrayal of Trust

After the press conference, there was a wine and cheese cocktail party at the hotel bar for the global ambassadors. Chanyeol and Baekhyun were all over each other, while the others are with their partners. Jongin was alone and was just enjoying the wine and cheese when Kris went to him.

"Oh? You don't have a date? Everyone's getting paired up already."

"Ah, I don't have a date and I'm not really into that kinds of things. I enjoy these more."

"So you're a wine and cheese enthusiast. That's very interesting. Can I join you?"

"Sure."

Lots of random talks were exchanged between Kai and Kris and little did they know, after drinking so much wine and eating so much cheese, they are already making out at the men's room.

"Have I told you.. that you're so hot?"

"No.."

"Well now, I'll tell you. You're so hot you're making my pants get tight. I love how thick your lips are.."

"Glad you like it. You've always been my crush since I was young, the very reason why I pursued modelling."

"Well, look at you now. Who would've thought that you'd become so fine. But you're saying that you have been having a crush on me since then. Meaning until now?"

"I wouldn't even bother to talk to you if I didn't."

"Aaahhh fuck. Let's go to my room."

Jongin didn't get to think clearly that he ended up getting fucked on Kris's room. He was a hot mess, he was so aroused with the wine and cheese and was also fucked real good. He may be sore but he liked it so much especially with how he was handled, with a little bit of spanking, some orgasm denial, some sloppy kisses and some restraints by neckties. Jongin loving it would be an understatement, he became addicted to getting dominated, for he was never dominated by an alpha like Kris.

Their nights in London were spent with lots of sex that gives off the after-sex glow the morning after, which made both of them look more blooming on the photos. When they arrived at Milan, he received a selca from Taemin with a message of 'I love you and I miss you' with the bear plushie he gave him.

_"Fuck. I screwed up. But I'm just playing with Kris, it wouldn't hurt to have it right? Besides, Taemin would never know.."_ he was torn if he would get guilty by getting fucked but being away from Taemin makes him sexually frustrated, and how could he ever refuse Kris helping him break loose from that frustration.

_"We're just helping each other. There's no feelings involved anyways. It'll be okay."_

When they were in Milan, their nightly fucking sessions were still on and Kris became more dominant. He got some sex toys to play with Jongin, he also gets blindfolded and they got more adventurous: Kris even fucked him inside a public cubicle. Jongin liked the sensation, the adrenaline and the drive so Kris took it to the next level: one night, they went out and he was fucked at a park bench. People could see them but since they were in a foreign country, no one cared.

When they were on the train going to Paris, Kris never wasted time and fucked Jongin too. There were people going in and out of the train and some passing by them, but they still continued. Jongin even have the drive to ride Kris when they were nearing Gare Du Nord. Their nightly fuck session have lasted for a month during their tour in Europe, and Jongin was never satisfied in his sex life until Kris came. But there's another thing he never felt before. He got attached to Kris and is falling in love with him even though he knows that the older is only up for sex.

On the last night of Jongin's stay in Paris, he have confessed to Kris that he is getting attached to him so he bid goodbye and stayed on his own hotel room. Luckily, Taemin is online so he could talk to his love back in Korea and get the temporary attachment to Kris forgotten. He was calling Taemin when someone knocked on his door and found out that it's Kris.

"Anything I could do for you?"

"You left something at my room."

"Is that so? What is it?"

"Me." Kris pushed Kai inside the room to lock it and kissed him deeply.

"Sorry sir but as much as I like you, this is wrong. I'm sorry, I didn't tell you, I have a boyfriend in Korea. And you're only up for sex so I helped you since I need it too. But I'll be going back to Korea tomorrow and we'll be far away. Let's just forget everything when we part."

"No. I want you too.."

"Jonginnie love! I miss you so much!!" Jongin's call to Taemin was connected when he least expected it so he panicked.

"Jonginnie, where are you?"

"Jjamkkan I'm at the bathroom. Sudden turmoil of stomach huhu. I miss you too!! I'll be going back tomorrow!"

"Yay finally I'll be with my Jonginnie again. I can wash Mr. ChocoNini when you get back because I can hug you after so long. How are you?"

"Ah I'm fine. Just a bit tired. How about you? Have you eaten?"

"Yes I've eaten lunch. I'm taking care of Luhannie because those two punks bought some milk and diapers. Luhannie say hi to uncle Nini."

"Hai."

"Wow you could call your mom now0. Ah Taeminnie go ahead and talk, I'll just wash. I can hear you."

"Okay. Yeah, so there's Hayi and Sehun who have left me with this 10 month old giant. I'm teaching him to walk and some words-"

"Ah!" While Jongin was 'washing', Kris have dominated his lips again, also slowly taking his pants off. He was taken raw doggy style so he gasped loud that Taemin heard it.

"Jonginnie, are you okay?"

"Uhhhh yeah. I'm just.. my legs are having cramps. Maybe.. stood for so long today then sat at the bathroom toilet for long too. Now it's asleep aaahhhh jinjja."

"Aigoo my Jonginnie. Just massage your legs and it'd be okay soon.

"Keep moaning or I won't move.. or I will let him know that I'm fucking you."

"No.. please don't. I don't want to hurt him."

"Then moan."

"Aaaahhh jebal. Woah this leg hurts! Is this also because of the weather? It's a bit chilly and the heater isn't on yet.."

"Turn it on, love."

"Heard that? Turn the moaning on." Kris thrusted in and out of Jongin so hard while giving him a handjob that Jongin moaned so loud as they both came. When Kris pulled out, Jongin rushed to his laptop and waved at Taemin with some tears on his cheek.

"Jonginnie? Are you okay? You're sweating! Wipe your sweat first."

"Got too sweaty at the bathroom. I just ran here so I could see you. And I miss you! See you tomorrow."

"Is your leg okay now?"

"It's getting better. Maybe I just have to go to the spa and get some massage."

"Yeah that'd be better. Omo. Luhannie is crying. I'll fetch you at the airport tomorrow, what time is your arrival?"

"Arrival is actually 2am the next day so it's still 1 more day in Korea. Sorry. Since it's 2am, it's okay if you won't fetch me. I could go directly to my loft. I have lots of luggages and of course I don't want you to carry those when you haven't had enough sleep. I'll ride my crew's van."

"Aw. So it's really another day for Taeminnie. Sad."

"Don't be sad because Jonginnie is going back home! We just have to endure one more day. Okay? I'll see you by then."

"Okay. I'll be waiting for you here. I love you so much Jongin!"

"Me too. See you! Bye." After closing his laptop, the predator named Kris have attacked Jongin again. He can't resist Kris' touches, for every touch was electrifying it sent chills and blood to his groins. The way he was groped and restrained have made him addicted to Kris. He doesn't even care if Taemin could hear him moaning while he is getting fucked. It started with only helping each other get the uncomfortable erection off but it became a habit and developed into a feeling of attachment. Now, he's at the edge of the cliff, cheating on his loving boyfriend in Korea who's waiting for him without knowing anything and getting attacked sexually by a person from his old life. Either way, it has been done and he can't go back to the time when he should've said no.

"You love me, right? Live with me. I promise, everyday I would fulfill your fantasies. You'll get to be fucked real good, even better than what you've had. Leave him and let's go far away."

"But Taemin is-"

"You've already been cheating on him the first time you kissed back! I know you wanted it all and there's no turning back. Heck, the feeling is mutual because I want you too. So leave with me. You won't have to deal with that person when you're with me."

"But how about my loft.. it's-"

"I know what to do. Don't worry."

Jongin and Kris arrived back in Korea only to return the clothes from the trip and to pack Jongin's clothes. Kris have their tickets to Hong Kong ready and he's only waiting for Jongin to finish packing.

"Kris, sorry but I don't think I could do this. I don't want to leave him behind. I-"

"Well should I just show him this instead?" Kris played a video of Jongin full of cum on his face, blindfolded, pleading to get fucked again even if he was already swollen.

"No. Oh my gosh no don't! He'll be very angry and he will feel betrayed and.. fuck I seriously messed up."

"You already cheated and betrayed him. He doesn't deserve you anymore. He could meet some other guys who won't cheat on him like you do so go with me and you'll never regret it."

"I'm not worthy to have him.. Taemin, I'm sorry."

"Would you like him to cry because you left or would you like him to cry and get angry and curse you to death when he sees this? Better get ready so we could leave!"

"This loft.. I-"

"I'll get this taken care of. We'll just sell this place." Jongin just nodded as guilt have drowned him. The only trace he left on his loft was a letter and the dirty chick plushie Taemin gave him.

Taemin is anxious because Jongin should've already called. It's been 5 hours since his estimated arrival time in Korea yet he haven't received any update from Jongin so he's worried.

"Gosh oppa. There might just be a few delays. He'll be here. And he'll call you as soon as possible."

"I can't wait to hug him. I miss him so much."

"I'm sure he miss you too. He can't even take his ass off you for goddamn reasons."

"Hahaha yes he addicted to you. Both your butt and your cock."

"And since when did you monitor our sexual activities?"

"Uhm since the first time we heard those loud moans? I think when there were petals scattered here.."

"Oh my gosh since my first time?!"

"Oh so that's the first. Nice. I should've recorded that."

"Wow thank you, best friend. Tsk. But I really miss him."

"Ah, eotteokhae? 22 years of abstinence is replaced with almost 1 year of passionate sex. Of course with one month abstinence after mind blowing sex, Taemin oppa would get too hungry and thirsty for Jongin oppa's cock."

"Thank you so much for voicing out such perversion, my sister. Wow."

"You're very welcome. But yeah, that's the real deal. Taemin oppa can't wait to get his ass on Jongin oppa's cock so yeah."

"Shut up."

Taemin was getting impatient and annoyed with the lack of updates from Jongin. It's already a day since his estimated arrival time yet he haven't received any message or call from Jongin so he went to his loft and was surprised that there is a 'for sale' notice at the door. He have the keys so he was able to go inside but was shocked to see Jongin's clothes were gone. His other things were still there, including a folded paper and the chick plushie he gave him before he left.

"Taemin, I'm sorry. You don't deserve a man like me. You deserve someone who wouldn't waver when you're far from each other. I'm sorry, my love for you wasn't strong enough that it's gone away now. I'm sorry for making you wait for nothing. From now on, you don't have to wait for me anymore. Thank you for everything and I am really sorry. I am so ashamed with what I have done to you that I can't bear to face you. Please just let me go and have a good life. Don't try to find me, find someone who will love you more than what I could give you. I love you but I'm sorry, I've cheated on you when I was away. Goodbye."

"This is fucking bullshit. What is this." Taemin was angrily crying after crumpling the paper he just read. He checked the loft and all Jongin's essentials were gone.

"Fucking fuck. Jongin left? His love wasn't strong enough that it's gone? And he cheated on me when he was away? What the fucking hell is happening?" He angrily went back to his car to drive to that one place where someone could also answer his questions.

"Byun Baekhyun? Park Chanyeol?"

"Taemin? Why are you here?"

"Where's your boyfriend? Have he lured Jongin again?"

"Oh hold on tight. Chanyeol is here and he's not after Jongin anymore. Why?"

"Jongin.. he left.."

"Oh really? He was there in London, in Milan and in Paris. We also have the same flights and we arrived here 2am yesterday."

"I know that but when I went to his loft, his clothes were gone! And he also left this only damn letter!"

"Oh my. Seems like you got dumped.. again. Come, I'll help you talk to Chanyeol."

"The last time I saw him, he was extremely close with Kris Wu. He's Bvlgari's ambassador." Chanyeol was able to remember what happened especially he knows Kris too.

"Do you have a photo of him?"

"We could search. Oh here. There are official photos from the event." Chanyeol showed Taemin a photo of Kris and Jongin a bit too close for professional models interacting.

"And you told me he left a letter saying he wavered and cheated on you when he was away? Then it's confirmed. He went with that guy."

"Sorry to hear that, Taemin. I know we ended in a bad note but I'm sorry to hear that you got dumped again. I thought I was bad because I broke up with you on a phone call, but he was worse, he didn't even have the balls to show up and say it to your face. He only left a letter and went away. Wow. Well at least when I broke up with you, I didn't do that."

"Thank you. Thanks for your help. It's clear to me now."

"What the fuck happened to Jongin? He was just here one time threatening to sue us for not giving credits to your song. Now that your song is registered under your name and the royalties are all deposited on that account, he left you. What's that? A charity even for you? A foundation fund?"

"You what?"

"He went here and demanded me to credit you for your songs. He gave me an account number and the royalty fees were forwarded to that account under your name."

"By any chance, is that this account?" Taemin showed Chanyeol the bank card Jongin gave him on his birthday and Chanyeol nodded.

"Yes. No doubt. That's the one. Congratulations, your songs were a big hit. You must've got millions of won for those songs."

"I didn't know until you told me.. I thought this is our joined account for our future."

"There's no future, Taemin. He's gone and as much as I don't want you to hear this again, he left you for someone else."

"Thank you, Baekhyun. Those words are the words I needed to hear. Thank you for your help." Taemin walked away from the couple crying. It's quite ironic that the one who have dumped him before is the one helping him now that he is dumped by the one who saved him before. In a snap, Taemin's world turned upside down.


	8. 정서적 각성 // Emotional Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> SELF MUTILATION, SADISM, NARCISSISM, OBSESSION, FAKE DEATH

"I was not enough for Baekhyun so he left. I wasn't enough for Jongin, so he left too. Gosh, what are the things am I lacking?" Taemin was bawling while driving that his eyes got too blurry, his head started to spin and his sight became black. When he got awakened, he's already at the hospital.

"Oh my gosh oppa finally you're awake!!! I'm so worried, how could you drive so carelessly!!" Hayi went to hug his older brother when he got awakened.

"Jonginnie.. where is he?"

"Sorry oppa. I saw the letter. He left you for someone else."

"So it wasn't a dream? I thought I was dreaming? Fuck this life!"

"Keep calm oppa or you'll hurt yourself!"

"What happened before I went here? The last time I remember is I was driving.."

"You bumped the car to the side railing of the expressway! If someone was sitting at the passenger seat, they'd be dead!"

"Oh. I went the wrong way. I should've turned left so it could've hit me."

"Oppa stop it!"

"Why do I have to wake up just to get hurt again and again? I should've just slept forever! I just got dumped for someone else again@ Tell me, what do I lack? Why am I never enough?"

"Oppa.. I'm here. Sehun and Luhan.. we love you."

"But Jongin doesn't love me anymore. He's gone. He went with that Kris guy.. maybe because he's taller, he's more handsome and he's richer. And he's a model like him while I'm not. Maybe that's where it went wrong. We're living in two very different worlds."

"Oppa.. for now you just have to rest okay? I know it hurts, and we're here to hear you out. You're not alone, we're still here."

"Thank you. But Jongin.. ah. Jinjja."

Taemin stayed at the hospital for a week and was taken care of Sehun and Jonghyun who flew back to Korea to take care of his younger brother.

"I know it still hurts but just like before, you'd be able to get through it."

"Maybe because back then, someone was there so it became tolerable. But now that I am facing this myself, it hurts so much. Hyung, does it really hurt like this? It's like my heart is pulled out of my chest and each muscle is being torn apart. For a glass, to be molded only to get shattered into pieces. It was never this painful with Baekhyun. It hurts so much now.."

"It's because you have loved him with all your heart. Baekhyun told you he's not enough for you and so did Jongin, right? Maybe because you poured too much love from your heart, but are still too scared to give that same amount. Taemin, no matter how much you love them, you can't tell them nor oblige them to give the same love to you. If they really love you, they will be courageous enough to pour their heart out without a doubt. Maybe when you decide to love again, do not give it all at once. Give your love bit by bit, make them earn it by seeing them do the same way. Give and take, not you giving it all away for them to take advantage of it."

"Thank you, hyung."

"Tomorrow, you'll be discharged. Would you be okay at home?"

"Maybe I'll just go somewhere else."

"Lee Taemin, don't do anything stupid."

"Maybe I'll stay somewhere else. I don't think I'd be able to sleep at the same bed he used to sleep with."

"Would you like to go with me in Kyoto? You could have a theraphy there. The nature, the attractions, the environment itself. And you could feast on Wagyu beef everyday."

"You're tempting me like you're tempting Luhan."

"What I'm saying is you could stay there so you could forget your memories here. You could also start a new life in Japan and who knows, you could snatch a gig on some bars. And I could also introduce you to my producer friends."

"I'm guilty of leaving Sehun, Hayi and Luhan at that house."

"Well they're also planning to live in Japan. We could get you and Hayi to debut as solo singers there."

"How about our house?"

"We'll put it up for rent. It's okay. Maybe it's time for us to get reunited. Besides, I miss my little siblings so much."

Taemin's road to moving on was never easy. He got depressed but used it as his drive to express his feelings that he was able to create emotional and heart breaking songs. Good thing his brother Jonghyun was there to guide him and give him some advice not just in love but also in song arrangements. Jonghyun have a studio at his home in Kyoto and most of the time, Taemin was there. He literally made the studio his bedroom by working hard to shake all those emotions bottled in his aching heart.

Sehun, Hayi and Luhan went to Japan a few weeks after Taemin went and told Taemin he got an information that Jongin's loft got sold and a new tenant have occupied it already. He also told Taemin that there was no Jongin seen near their home so he must be really far away from them. Taemin got depressed more and started to cut himself with a razor blade everytime he thinks about Jongin. He did it until his left arm got covered with slits that didn't cut too deep but enough to bleed and give wound marks.

Taemin went out of his brother's home for the first time in a while, to wander and to cry his heart out but since he doesn't have a car anymore, he went out walking.

Truthfully, Taemin thought of suicide multiple times but he didn't do it. He wanted the pain to end because it hurts too much. He wanted to forget everything because it haunts him to the very day. Even if he tried self mutilation everytime he thinks about Jongin, it's not enough. Drinking and smoking was never enough, and the only thing he could think of is sleeping endlessly but at the same time, he was scared. He loves his family, for they are the only ones he have and the only ones who love him. He have disappointed his past lovers before, he doesn't want to disappoint them by doing reckless things like taking his life just for a guy.

He was on his way home when he collapsed at Arashiyama Park, good thing he was rescued by Sehun who came running after someone called from Taemin's phone. It turned out that Taemin have deprived himself of sleep, is dehydrated and not eating much. He was sick and he lost a lot of weight because of that. He was too desperate, emotional and broken. When he woke up, Jonghyun was crying.

"Taemin, thank goodness!"

"Eodi.."

"You're at the hospital and you've slept for 23 hours! You've been depriving yourself to sleep, you're not eating well, you weren't even drinking water and you lost a lot of weight. Are you going to really kill yourself because of one heartless fucker who wavered when you were far apart for a month? Get back to your senses Taemin! There's more to life than love and feelings! We are here for you, we are your family and we love you! With or without a boyfriend, we love you! Please, please take care of yourself. Don't do that again. You could immortalize your pain by making songs. You could help other people who are going through that too!"

"Oppa is right."

"I could ask my friends, they would help Hayi. They could help you too. You can make it big here, and someday he will regret leaving a diamond for a piece of an ordinary rock."

Jonghyun and Taemin went to the studio to meet his producer friends Kim Jonghyun and Kim Kibum.

"I'm Lee Taemin. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. We've heard a lot about you. You're also a songwriter right? You wrote 3 of singer Byun Baekhyun's songs?"

"Ah yes."

"Those songs are quite unique. And if you have other ideas, you could try it out. We will help you debut. I'm already done with the mini album of your sister Hayi."

"If I ever get to debut, can I do it by becoming another person?"

"A new persona? Yeah sure. That's normal. Kibum is Key and the two of us Jonghyuns, we are Tyler and Tyrone. Hayi would be debuting as Eiendui. Your brother is Tyrone, would you like to be associated with him?"

"No. I don't want him to know that I am indeed Taemin. Let's say that Taemin is dead. A new Taemin was born when he left."

"Think of a name then."

"Shion.."

"But the meaning of that is 'I won't forget you'. Would you like that?"

"Yeah. It's the same name of the purple flower, right?"

"Yes. So it's decided? You'll be reborn as Shion."

"That'll do."

Taemin got inspired to write music again as he visit Jonghyun and Kibum. His older brother Jonghyun take care of him like his dad, and took note of his progresses. With Jonghyun's home-cooked meals, Taemin gained weight and got his vibrance back. He also started to work out so he'd become a completely different person; from the thin and weak Taemin to the stronger and better Shion.

Jonghyun and Kibum made Taemin record some demos and of course, with his beautiful voice, it became a great hit in local radio. After almost a year of preparation including a total makeover from Kibum, he debuted as Shion in Japan in 2017. He became a brand new person who will move on and not need any man again.

Shion's debut became successful and he was also offered to go on hall tours across Japan. He became a very fulfilled person, as if he never got his heart broken.

On the other hand, Jongin lived with Kris in Hong Kong. Their first year of living together was fine and hot just like the nights they've spent together in Europe but Kris started to go far on his kinks on their second year. His spanking hurt Jongin's skin that he didn't stop even if it bruised, he would only stop when he sees blood. There are weeks wherein Jongin is covered with bruises as if he was paddled by a wooden block. He also gets sore to the point that he bleeds. Jongin is slowly getting scared of Kris because his sadism is getting out of hand.

One day, Jongin wanted to go to the supermarket to buy ingredients for their food but Kris didn't allow him to go alone. Instead, they went out together while Kris was touching his body in public. Of course, he would be embarassed but he just endured until he got fucked when they arrived inside their home.

Jongin thought that Kris is sick. He is not in his right mind anymore. This isn't only kinks during sex but this is extreme sadism due to narcissism so he planned his exit and the perfect timing was made by their next schedule of fashion week in Seoul. He have booked the hotel he would stay at when he gets out of Kris' sight, and also seeked help from Chanyeol who is surprisingly willing to help an ex in despair.

Jongin was almost caught by Kris even if he used the elevator. Good thing he went up first before he went down so when Kris is coming back up, he have reached the lobby to run away.

"Chanyeol ah. Please help me. Kris is not in his right mind anymore. He's hurting me a lot. He doesn't stop until blood comes out of my body."

"What a sick fetish! Good thing you were able to escape from him!"

"But I can't stay at a hotel for too long. He might get the information from the front desk and he would know where I'm staying at. Can I stay with you and Baekhyun for a night? I'll just have to find a place to stay longer."

"Ah! Why don't you rent Taemin's place. Baekhyun told me that it's up for rent. Right love?"

"Rent? Why? Is Taemin not here anymore?"

"Ah. Sadly, Taemin is.."

"Taemin got in an accident almost 2 years ago. He bumped on the side railing on the expressway when he lost conciousness while driving."

"How was he? I mean where is he now? Have he recovered well?"

"Taemin is gone."

"What do you mean Taemin is gone?"

"Gone away forever. He left us already. He's already resting with his parents."

"What? You're joking right? You're just telling me that to make me worry and for you to see if I still love him or not."

"I can take you to his grave if you want."

"Really?"

"Do I look like I am joking? You have condemned me when I left Taemin but what did you do? You left him too! I thought I have given his heart to someone who will take care of it but you became like me. I thought what I did was bad, heck you did worse! Do you know how he went here to us crying while holding the crumpled breakup letter you've written? I thought breakup over the phone is unacceptable, now can you tell me if that breakup letter is valid? Kim Jongin, you've picked him up when I left him only to leave him worse than I did! We're both monsters but I've never expected that you'll do that after I saw how Taemin loves you. He was never like that to me before, and I have already paid for that. You were lucky to be loved so much yet you threw him away for a sick sadist!" Jongin's eyes were swollen because of crying as the words started to sink onto him.

"How about Sehun and Hayi and Luhan? Where are they?"

"Sehun and Hayi migrated in London."

"Ah maybe I could go to where Jonghyun hyung is."

"Jonghyun hyung already retired from being a rock star. I don't know where he reside now. And if you're thinking of going to Kyuri nuna, it's no use. She's not working at Disney Sea anymore."

"But you told me their house is for rent, right?"

"Yeah. Hayi have told me to manage the rentals and send them the payments. His siblings, they all decided to lead a different life since he left."

"I'll rent that house. That's the only memory of Taemin left and I will never let go of that."

Sehun and Hayi was surprised when Baekhyun have told them about Jongin renting the house but they were unsure if they have to tell Taemin about it. They are afraid that Taemin might get depressed again when he have tried hard to recover from it.

"Oppa. Jonghyun oppa." Hayi called her eldest brother's attention.

"Wae."

"One rental for the whole house. Name of resident : Kim Jongin."

"Kim Jongin? Is that the Jongin we used to know?"

"Baekhyun oppa confirmed it. It is really Kim Jongin, Taemin oppa's last love."

"Should we let him stay or kick him out?"

"Baekhyun told him that oppa is gone."

"What?"

"He told me he got carried away. He was mad at Jongin and that was his only way to get back at him for oppa's heartaches."

"Sensible Baekhyun. Just let him. He'd just weep and think about their memories while staying there. Taemin's things are still intact so most likely he would wear those clothes."

"Sadly, Les Taemin is really gone. It's Matsuda Shion now."

"Should we tell Taemin about it?"

"At the right time. Or who knows? Maybe Jongin will see the truth himself when Taemin oppa goes back to Korea."

Jongin went out to get some groceries but came across a music store. He saw Baekhyun's album alongside other artist's albums so he went in to listen to Taemin's song on Baekhyun's album and got teary eyed even if it's not saddening. He looked around and saw an album of a girl who looks like Hayi but somehow doesn't, especially the person on the photo is hiding half her face. He looked over the posters and saw someone who seriously looks like Taemin but he was Taemin's total opposite: the man is muscular, fashionable, have blue hair, gray eyes and a piercing aura. The poster said he would be holding a fansign event at 4pm and he got curious on how the man looks like his love. He wanted to make sure because it might only be because of the editing so he just went to eat at KFC and waited for the fansigning.

It's Taemin's first time to be out in the crowd of Korean fans when he debuted as a singer in Japan, and the audiences didn't disappoint. He got fans lining up to buy his album, official merchandise and were given free posters, which he would sign later on.

"Are you okay? Do you want some water or any snacks?"

"No, I'm good. Thank you. I just can't believe that going back as a different person feels nice. It's like a new life, new world, new possibilities, new me."

"You sounded so different from the Taemin we know. Well, you really are different because you're not Taemin anymore, you're Shion now."

"Yeah. Taemin is only a memory now. Since I legally changed my name, I changed my whole persona too."

"But you could still be Taemin, at least, only around us."

"Maybe not here in Korea. Maybe when we get back in Japan."

"Uhm excuse me, miss. Can I have a look? I'm still torn if I will buy or not. Don't worry, I won't take this away." Jongin asked a fan at the end of the line about the merchandise she's holding. It has Shion's face and name so Jongin insisted to see it clearly.

"Here."

"Thanks. Oh. So his name is Shion?"

"Yes."

"He's Korean?"

"He's Korean Japanese."

"Oh. Do you somehow have a song of him on your phone? Can I listen to it for a bit?" The young lady let Jongin listen to one of Shion's songs entitled 'Love'. He know Taemin and his voice, and the moment the second line started, he stood up to his seat and lined up to buy an album so he could confirm if it is really Taemin or not.

"Ah jebal jebal please I need to have a closer look. Jebal." But only a few pieces of the album are left. The last piece was sold to the 3rd woman before him. The two people ahead him were also sad for not being able to buy the album as they were ushered to the side because the fansigning would start.

Shion went out in an all-black ensemble, with his blue colored hair and gray colored eyes, seeking attention from the people who pass by. Jongin can't see much because he's a bit far but when the lcd monitor zoomed Shion's face, his face lighted up. That face and that very lips he kissed the most, is right before his eyes. He is still alive but he has changed. He may have been very different from the Taemin that he was with before but he knows deep inside that this Shion is his Taemin.

"Taeminnie.." Jongin was shedding tears and Shion's fangirls were surprised that a tall, muscular man was crying when he saw Shion in person. They thought that he is a real fan who cried out because he wasn't able to buy the album and have a poster to get it signed. They thought that he lost his chance to meet Shion face to face.

"Excuse me sir, I bought one for my sister but if you want, I can sell it to you. You seem to be very sad for not being able to buy Shion's album. I'll give you the poster too."

"Okay I'll take that. Thank you so much! You don't know how much this means to me."

"Oh? I think I know you. Are you perhaps Kai?"

"Kai? No I am not. Plastic surgery. I want to look like him so much."

"Oh. Nice job then. You could pass as his doppleganger now. Well I hope you'd enjoy the fansign event."

"Thank you so much." He may be excited but he was very nervous. He is hoping that this man is really Taemin but what if he isn't? Would he be okay to really accept the fact that Taemin is gone forever?

"Sir, you're next."

"Ah ye."

"Annyeong hase- yo!" Taemin was surprised to see such face that his throat got dry.

"Ah sorry haha annyeong haseyo! I'm Shion, thank you for coming to my fansigning event. I'll sign the poster and album. What's your name?" Taemin wanted to run away but he have to act tough and different, as if he doesn't know Jongin.

"Jonginnie. Ninibear. Jongin love."

"Oh, you have lots of names."

"Yes. I'm sorry about what happened a few years ago. I was a total jerk, I didn't know what I'm doing and left you behind like a trash. I went with a sick sadist and have suffered cuts, bruises and blood. I think I've got punished with that for leaving you. But after all that happened, I still love you, Taemin.."

"Are you somehow going to give this to someone? Your words are too sad."

"No, that's mine. But those words depict your song 'Love' well. It's okay."

"Alright. I'll just write another note for you. If years have passed and your love is gone, maybe it's time for you to move on and live without that person. You can always love a person who is gone but you can never go back to the past no matter how hard you try, even if you've shed lots of tears, even if you are sorry or even if you've suffered enough as a punishment. Set yourself free, don't be a prisoner of your own bad decisions. That will just kill you. Thank you for supporting me, Jongin love."

"Taemin.. thank you. Thank goodness you're alive. I'll be happy now. Thank you." Then Jongin went away crying. Taemin tried to endure everything until he stepped down the stage and cried in Kibum's arms.

"Ssshhhh. It's okay. You'll be okay."

"Why does he have to come back? He looks so thin, and he have bruises and wounds not only on his arms but also some on his neck and face. What kind of sick person would do that to someone?"

"Ya what did he say to you?"

"He told me that he's sorry about what happened a few years ago. That he was a total jerk, he didn't know what he's doing and left me behind like a trash. That he went with a sick sadist and have suffered cuts, bruises and blood. He thinks that he's punished for leaving me and after all that happened, he told me he loves me."

"Aw. And your response?"

"A cold response from actor Shion."

"So you still didn't let your guard down.."

"Yeah. But in the end he told me he is thankful and he'll be happy now because I'm alive."

"Maybe he really loves you. He just made a bad decision to leave you."

"But it hurts again.. seeing him like that, broken, bruised, wounded, depressed, super slim and crying. Taemin wanted to console him and tell him he loves him too, but Shion is in control so I was only able to get it all out. What should I do?"

"Well you can't do anything unless you chase him down? Which is a bit impossible because you might cause a stampede here."

Jongin may have stepped down the stage while crying but he stayed a bit to take a good look at Taemin or Shion by the stage until he has to go. Jongin was shaken back to his thoughts especially now that he saw it is indeed Taemin's face even if he have blue hair, gray eyes, makeup and bulky body. He doesn't know what happened but he was pretty sure that Shion is his Taemin.

He joined every fan group for Shion and to also know his information. Jongin was interested in him so he worked hard like a fangirl trying to get to know her new oppa.

"So it's Matsuda Shion. Korean-Japanese, lives in Hokkaido, Japan. Born January 11, 1991. Has a wife named Aori Hara and a baby girl named Seha. What?" Jongin's heart dropped when he saw the written facts about Shion, that he has a wife and a baby girl.

"But Taemin.. you never liked girls.. and you have a baby now? Andwae, this isn't real. He could never be with a girl. He's my Taeminnie and him having a wife.. eotteokhae? What have you done, Kim Jongin?.."


	9. 믿을 수없는 현실 // Unbelievable Reality

Jongin just finished doing his laundry when he heard a car pull up by the parking lot. He was surprised to hear voices of different people and got more surprised when they have a key of the house and opened the main door like they've lived there before.

"Hayi? Sehun? Jonghyun hyung?" Jongin cooed as the two unfamiliar men went inside the house.

"Omo. Jonghyun hyung? Jonghyun ah, do you know this guy?"

"No. I don't know him. I've never met him.."

"Oh. So you became really famous, ah? Anyways who are you?"

"Uhm I live here." Jongin confirmed but he was confused because the two men are not surprised, as if they know someone lives at the house too.

"Ah so you're the host of the house. Hi! I'm Kim Kibum." Kibum gave out a hand to shake Jongin's.

"I'm Kim Jonghyun."

"I'm Kim Jongin. And may I know why you're here? Perhaps renting as well?"

"Yes! We've rented out the three parts of the house. Jjamkkan Jonghyun hyung, why is Shion not coming yet? We still have to get the luggages later." Kibum blurted out of worry.

"Shion?" At the mention of the name, Jongin's face brightened up.

"Do you know Shion?" Jonghyun asked, as if he didn't know that Jongin is the reason why Taemin cried after the fan signing event.

"Ah yes. He's a singer right?" Jongin gets excited because he'd be able to see Shion again.

"Oh my god. This can't be. Please, we beg you, please don't disclose his whereabouts okay? I'm afraid fans would follow him and he won't get to rest privately."

"No it's fine. I'll keep it to myself."

"Thank you so much. Ah I'll just go and take our artist okay? Sorry." Kibum left and when he went back, Taemin with the name Shion was there.

_**"Oh wow. This house is so cool! We've rented such a cool place. Ah!**_ annyeong haseyo, I'm Shion. You must be the owner of this house. Thank you for giving us such a very good accommodation." Taemin acted out, keeping his cool as Shion.

"No worries and enjoy your stay." Jongin smiled. He's happy because at least, he'd be able to see Taemin's face again, even if he have to keep in mind that the person he is with is not Taemin but Shion.

"You've got a very nice house. Thank you for putting your hard work while building the house. I'm very grateful to stay in such a very nice home."

"Ah no it's okay. I'm not the one who built the house. I'm also renting and somehow became the host since the real owner of the house is my supposedly in-laws but they are overseas."

"Oh. Well even if you're not the owner, we are very grateful to stay at this house. I hope we don't give much trouble and burden to you."

"No it's fine."

"Thank you. Ah excuse me, we'll just get more of the luggages."

When all of Shion's luggages were taken to his room, Jonghyun and Kibum went to their respective rooms first. Jonghyun stayed at Sehun's room and Kibum stayed at Hayi's room. Shion wandered at the garden full of roses, the roses he himself have grown since he was young, and was surprised to see that even if he have been away for more than 2 years, it's all in full bloom as if someone never forgot to water them so they won't die.

He got 7 red roses to put onto his room but he was surprised when the door by the porch opened.

"So you like roses?"

"Yes. I remember my wife when I see roses. Now that I got some, I miss her. How I wish I could give these to her before they wilt down. They're very beautiful."

"Oh so you're married?"

"Yes I am. And we have a cute daughter. Ah! Here's my cute baby." Shion presented a picture of a cute baby girl that somehow looks like him, well of course, because the mother is his girl version and the father is his best friend. The baby girl is actually Hayi's baby, Taemin's niece.

"Wow. Such a cute baby! You're lucky to have a bundle of joy in your life. What's her name?"

"Matsuda Seha. She's super cute especially when she smiles or when she yawns. Ah, now I miss her more."

"Sadly you're away from them. Are they in Japan?"

"Yes. They're staying at her brother's house for the meantime. Uhm may I ask, how about you, do you have your own family too?"

"Ah no. None."

"That means you're alone? How about a girlfriend?"

"Uhm.. actually I'm not into girls."

"Oh really? That's cool but very unexpected. Someday, you'll be able to meet that person who will be with you until the end, you just have to get ready and make yourself better. I mean, I don't know you yet and I'm pretty sure you're a good person but while you're waiting for your love, just continue to improve."

"Thank you." Jongin smiled bitterly, knowing that the man that looks like his love have a wife and a baby; he may have the same face as Taemin but he is completely different from him. Taemin is so thin and he likes men, but Shion is muscular, have a wife and a baby girl. But deep inside he's still hoping that everything is a lie and that Shion is really his love Taemin.

Taemin wandered around to look at the house he have stayed as his home: nothing much have changed since the last time he was there aside from the almost empty vanity mirrors at Sehun and Hayi's room because they packed all their things to permanently migrate to Japan. Taemin still couldn't fathom his feelings because he might still cry if he goes to his room but he was surprised when he opened it because Jongin is there.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this room is unoccupied. I'm just going around exploring the different parts of the house. But I think this is a private place. I'm really sorry."

"No it's fine. You can come in and I could show you the room. This is my love's room, he designed everything but I helped him with the arrangements."

"He seems to have a good taste in art."

"Yeah. He's a singer, like you."

"Oh. May I know his name?"

"Taemin. Lee Taemin. Thankfully I was able to preserve our photos here in this room." Jongin gave him almost all their pictures together and he tried to hold back his emotions so tears won't come down.

"How come.. he looks.."

"Yes. He looks like you so much. And now, it's as if I'm looking at him too."

"May I know what happened?"

"I left him to work for a month overseas.. but I left him for good. I never returned. Instead, I packed my clothes and went to live in Hong Kong with someone else. The only things I left him are these and our memories. Ah, also a breakup letter and the chick plushie he gave me."

"Sorry but may I ask, where is he now?"

"His other former love told me he is gone.. that he didn't survive a car accident.. while looking for me. I was a very bad guy, I don't deserve him. He doesn't deserve me too, he doesn't deserve a cheater, a liar and a killer but if I would be given a chance, one more and one last chance, I'll do everything so I could get back to him."

"That's a very sad story. I'm sorry if you are reminded of him because of my face."

"But really.. you're not Taemin?"

"No I'm not. Well, this is a pure secret and since you've told me a piece if your life, I'll tell you the truth. This is not my original face. This face was only copied from someone else. And I think I know the name of that person now. Maybe that's him, maybe they copied Taemin's face and replaced mine with it. I was involved in a car accident too, and my face was badly injured that my facial bones were broken. My brother told me that I have to undergo reconstructive surgery but when I recovered, I have a different face. I was angry at first but then I came to love the face that was given to me."

"Really?"

"Yes. Uhm.. sorry for reminding you about your lost love. But you'll be fine sooner or later."

"Taemin.."

"Sorry, I may have his face but I am not him. I am Shion."

"I understand. But can I have a hug?"

"Okay." Shion let Jongin hug him and of course, Jongin burst into tears.

"You must've miss him so much for you to cry like that." Shion patted his back, trying his best to hold his tears too.

"I do. Taemin, I'm really sorry. I regret leaving you. You could've been with us until now."

"It's okay. Let it all out. You must've kept it inside for so long. I can be your friend."

"Thank you so much, Shion."

Jongin is somehow happy for opening his real self to Shion and Shion, even though he is still angry with Jongin, agreed to be friends with him as he have formulated a revenge plan on his head. He would get Jongin's trust and make him fall in love but would leave afterwards.

"Oh? So you're a model?!"

"Yes. I've been Gucci's ambassador."

"Oh nice! Kibum here is a fashion coordinator. You'd click with him."

"Ah haha yeah. I think he's a nice person."

"He is! He's just whiny sometimes. He's also my road manager so he's almost always with me. Then Jonghyun hyung, he's my producer and director. We're actually here in Korea to film some contents."

"Oh. So how long would you be staying?"

"Not quite sure but maybe more or less than a month."

"That's good. You have more days to relax."

"Though I want to go back home to see my family, I also have to work for them."

"You really love your family huh? That's nice. You're lucky."

"Sorry to ask but why are you living here alone, especially when Taemin's family have already left Korea?"

"My dorm was sold by that fucker so I don't have a place to stay anymore. And for 2 years that I was in Hong Kong, I was a sex slave. I was groped, attacked and used for his kinks to the point that he hits me with everything he get his hands on, which explains all my wounds and cuts. He never stopped until he sees blood coming out of me."

"What the fuck, that person isn't human. He's sick."

"Yeah, and I was just so lucky that I was able to escape when we attended Seoul Fashion Week. I ran away from him with only a few of my clothes and valuables, stayed at a hotel, to my ex's guest room then rented this house out. I chose to stay here to also remember Taemin and take care of their house while running away from him. Besides, he doesn't know this place so I thought I'd be safe here."

"Oh. Your story is too tragic and dramatic. I hope you'd get the real love you deserve. Maybe not now but in the future."

"Thank you."

That night, Shion went out with Jonghyun and Kibum to cry his heart out because of all the things he have found out from Jongin.

"Ssshhh. That's okay. You'll be okay." The two Kims consoled crying Taemin

"So he lowkey explained to Taemin why he left.." Jonghyun gave a glass of water to Taemin so he could calm down.

"He also told Taemin himself that he regret leaving him." Taemin said, trying to get back to his senses and wiping his tears.

"Ah, it should've been a sweet reunion of two lovers but then we have Shion getting between them. Aigoo." Kibum shook his head out of disappointment.

"Hyung, you know how much it hurts Taemin.. it's not easy to just accept it all and trust him again." Taemin composed himself and drank a shot of soju.

"So what's your plan? Are we going back to Japan or are we staying?"

"I'll let Shion take over Taemin." Taemin's eyes became different, letting Shion take over him and his emotions.

"Until when?" The two Kims looked at each other, worried with what Taemin is thinking.

"Until Taemin gets justice for being killed multiple times by heartbreak."

When Shion, Jonghyun and Kibum went back to their home, Jongin just finished eating his dinner. Jonghyun and Kibum excused themselves and went directly to their rooms while Taemin went to sit near Jongin.

"Hello. I feel guilty, I should've invited you to eat with us outside. Here, some peace offering. I hope you enjoy it." Taemin took out the giant tub of ice cream and smiled.

"Oh thank you. Omo, strawberry?"

"Ah yes. Sorry if I got a lame flavor. I thought you'd like chocolate or mango but strawberry flavor is the only one available. If you don't like it, it's okay. Just leave it there and give it to Kibum hyung. He eats every flavor of ice cream. I'll just buy your preferred ice cream flavor next time. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?"

"No it's okay. Ah actually I was just shocked. Strawberry is my all-time favorite ice cream flavor.. and Taemin used to buy me strawberry ice cream so.. thank you."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I made you remember him again. Please tell me if you're not comfortable seeing my face so I could give you some distance. Or if it bothers you a lot, we could just rent a hotel room. I don't want you to be so burdened."

"No it's okay. I'm perfectly fine with it. Actually I prefer to always see you, so I could forget that Taemin is gone and to also feel like Taemin is with me. It's okay, please don't worry about it and don't go. It's also lonely to be alone here."

"Okay. If you say so."

Shion may have some radio promotions and other works as a singer but he have become closer to Jongin. Jongin loved the idea of Shion as Taemin that's loving and taking care of him again even if it's different now.

"Shion, Kibum and I would just go to an emergency meeting. Just stay here and don't go out. Don't ever try to drive nor commute because you're not familiar of Korea yet. We'll be back as soon as possible. Behave." Jonghyun hurriedly got their luggages out of the house and started the car.

"Chotto matte. Hyung! Why do you have your things with you?" Shion was so confused, he doesn't have a schedule but his hyungs are going away with all their things. He's getting nervous too.

"Just because." And then, Jonghyun and Kibum hurriedly left Shion with Jongin.

"Oh? Is there something wrong?"

"They suddenly just left.. it's weird.. they got their things too. Aigoo those two. How could I go out without them.. Jinjja."

"Do you have any upcoming schedules?"

"None in the next days until next week."

"Oh. So you're stuck up at home then."

"Most probably yes. Ah jinjja what would I do here?"

"Seems like you're helpless. Can you help me instead?"

"Help you with what?"

"I.. somehow want to clean Taemin's room. It's been a while and there are dirt piling up. Need to change the sheets too."

"Oh okay. Easy."

"Tell me more about yourself, Shion. I want to know you more."

"You can find the facts on the internet though."

"I already know it all. I even know your album tracklists and your schedule. I got an album and a poster signed by you too."

"Jinjja? When?"

"At your fansign event at the mall. I was there and you asked for my name. I told you it's Jonginnie, Ninibear or Jongin love. In the end, you called me Jongin love."

"I can't remember much, sorry. I met lots of fans that day.."

"It's okay. And I also want to put that poster at Taemin's room. By this, I could feel that Taemin's dream came true even if he's gone."

"Taemin.. you love him so much, don't you?"

"Yes I do. And when I left him for somebody else, that's when I realize that I really love him. Maybe I was only carried away with lust but when everything went wrong, my heart still cried for him. Sadly, I fucked up and when I went back, he's gone."

"Why don't you go out and meet somebody else? Somebody you would love and somebody who would love you too? A replacement for Taemin so you won't need to mourn over and over for him?"

"Taemin is irreplaceable. And though we might've been together for only more than a year, that love isn't superficial. It was real. I was just really a jerk to leave him for a good for nothing guy. I know it's all my fault and I'm the only one to blame. I'll be okay even if he is angry with me but I would give everything I have just to be with him again. I love him and nothing could replace him in my heart that easily."

"I think I went too far. Sorry."

"It's fine. You're the only one that I could talk to about him anyways."

"I don't know if having his face helps you or not but I hope it does. Just think that Taemin is living within me, at least in my face. I may not be him but with the face I have now, try to at least accept everything, that it's not the same as before. Try to just be used to this face around, ignore your feelings and move on."

"I don't think I could ever do that. Heck, if I even continue getting closer to you, I might fall in love with you."

"Well you shouldn't do that. I'm straight. Sorry."

"I know. I was just joking. You're too serious, haha. I'll be fine. I'm trying to get by."

"You almost gave me a heart attack. Tsk."

"Uhm Taemin?"

"Ye- you need something?"

"Ah sorry. I forgot. Shion, can I ask you a favor? Can you cook sukiyaki tomorrow?"

"Oh. Okay. Sure."

Shion made sukiyaki nabe as requested by Jongin but he purposely tweaked the recipe, added some ingredients as well as took out some of it so it wouldn't taste the same as his brother Jonghyun's cooking, especially Jongin have tasted it before.

"Wow. This is delicious!"

"Really? I think I lack something though. It's not the same sukiyaki nabe that I eat in Japan."

"It's delicious! At least for me. You know what, this is Taemin's favorite. He enjoys this so much with lots and lots of meat. Sometimes when we add shrimp, since he hate peeling shrimps, I peel it all for him. Ah, it's a pity that he won't be able to taste this again. But it's really good, even better than his brother Jonghyun hyung's cooking."

"Thank you for that, even if I know that it's not too good but thanks for the appreciation. I'm sure Taemin is eating lots of delicious foods wherever he may be. And I'm sure if the last thing he did was chasing you, he'd still love you so he will always guide you. He'll always be with you, as your guardian angel."

"I don't deserve an angel when I myself is a sinner."

"Hopefully, Taemin have forgiven you with what happened.. and that he got justice and answers before he lost his life."

"I hope so too.. but really.. Taemin is a good man, sadly his time here has ended too soon. What a pity."

"Don't tell me you're going to cry again."

"I just miss him. I miss hugging him, I miss kissing him. I miss being with him. I miss the way he tells me he loves me. I was the one who ruined everything so I can't ever complain. I wanted this and this is what I should expect to get. I didn't deserve him so he was taken away from me. Good thing you're here. Somehow, you calm my heart and take my loneliness away. Thank you. I have a frail heart so please forgive me if I tell you that I'm falling in love with you too."

"Come on, stop joking around."

"This time, I'm not joking. I'm really falling in love with you. This is Kim Jongin confessing his love for Matsuda Shion."

"I know you love me. You're a fan. It's okay, I love you too. I love all my fans."

"Would you like me to prove you how much I love you?"

"Oh come on, don't ever tr-" but Shion was silenced by Jongin's lips. Jongin caressed Shion's face lovingly and his kisses were sweet and full of longing. Shion tried to break out of the kiss and 'felt a bit violated' so he pulled away harshly from him.

"I told you, I love you."

"I've told you that I'm a man, right? I'm straight! I don't like guys. I don't love men. I have a wife and a daughter so please keep that in mind."

"But I'm really in love with you! Believe me!"

"No, that's not love. That's only extreme longing for companionship. Besides, you only love me because of this face. Shake that love off, I'm not Taemin anymore, and I won't let you love Shion with the same way you 'love' Taemin. You shouldn't just fall in love because you're carried away. Comfort? Okay, I'll console you. Companionship? Okay, I'll be with you. But you falling in love with me the same way you fell in love with Taemin, I can't tolerate that. Besides, you only fell in love because you're broken. You only want somebody to fix you and when you're okay again, you'd just throw them away as if they're no longer useful, especially when you see someone better. Kris is taller, richer, luxurious, talented, famous and all. He is perfect, and that's the very reason you chose him. Yes, you chose him over someone who have fixed you when Chanyeol dumped you. Maybe Baekhyun was right, so the dumped losers fell in love after fixing each other but in the end I was the only one who stayed in love. You were with me, I was with you but suddenly, you just left!"

"Taemin.."

"That damn letter.. I wanted to burn that fucking letter to ashes but I couldn't because that's my last memory from you. I was so furious that I went to Baekhyun and Chanyeol to know where you are and I found my answer. You really went with that man. We were together for more than a year and you just went off for a trip but you never came back. I should've known so I would've not wasted my time waiting for someone who already ditched, dumped and threw me away."

"I'm sorry, Taemin.."

"That damned day I got that letter, I got in an accident.. that damned car was almost a total wreck because I blacked out while driving. Jonghyun hyung, Hayi and Sehun were all crying when I got awakened because they were happy I didn't get any serious injury. But that moment, I wished that I would've just got severely hit so I won't have to wake up with the reality that you're gone. They have shouted at me when I was crying at the hospital. Whenever I wake up, I was still looking for you and everytime I do that, Sehun will feed me with the fact that you're gone. When I got discharged, I never went back here again. I don't want to go back to that damned room because I don't want to cry as I remember our memories. I cursed that room so much that I lived a new life in Japan, changed my name and my whole being so Matsuda Shion could really bury Lee Taemin fully. But fucking fuck, you went on that damned fansign as if I was the one who went away, as if I was the one who left you, and you even have the nerve to tell me that you still love me. So after dumping me for someone else and after that man failed to meet your standards, you suddenly realized that you still love me? What a fucking joke."

"I'm really sorry.."

"And now you even have the nerve to live at this house, to stay at that damn room because you want to cherish our memories? Wow. I may be mean but your cuts, your wounds, your bruises and all the blood that went out of your body, that's nothing. Physical pain is nothing compared to dying lots of times that I really wanted to die. Lee Taemin wanted to die as I tried to draw blood out of my arms too, everytime I think of you and cry, but it doesn't hurt me. What hurts the most, it's here. I was dying inside and I wanted to end that pain by ending my life but I thought of my family. I love them and I've learned that I shouldn't waste my life just because of a guy like you. Lee Taemin miss you. Lee Taemin loves you. Lee Taemin would die for you and he died a painful death in your own hands. I'm Matsuda Shion now, and there's no turning back, even if you still love me."

"Taemin.." Jongin was crying hard while kneeling down in front of Shion who's also crying.

"Taemin have loved you with all his life but he's already dead."

"I regret it all, leaving you. I'm so sorry. Tell me everything you have inside, I'd take it all. I'll do everything you want, please, so you could somehow accept me in your life again. Don't mind me, I'll put you first and I'll show you that I love you. I'll make you fall in love with me again. Please, just let me."

"That's enough. Please leave me alone for now."

"Taemin please.. please give me a chance. I've lost you before and I almost lost you totally. I don't want to lose you again. I'll take you back, please take me too.."

"I'll think about that.. please just let me be alone."

"Alright. You could sleep in your room. I'll take the couch tonight."

"No, it's fine."

"I insist."

"No need. I'm okay." Then Taemin shut his brother's room door and cried.


	10. 달콤한 희생 // Sweet Sacrifice

Next day, Jongin woke up from a very loud silence. The house is empty and it's almost the same as how it was when he moved in. He knocked at the room to check on Taemin but he's gone with his things. There's a note left at the bed saying _"don't worry, I'm fine. I'm at work so there's no need for you to get hysterical. Don't try to find me too, just go on with your usual routine. I don't think I'd come back anytime soon, I'll be preparing for the showcase. -Taemin" _and just sighed.

"Finally, he have acknowledged that he is Taemin." As much as Jongin is happy to know that Shion is Taemin, he is still sad because his love is mad at him and they're still not okay. Jongin knows the fact that he have to woo and make Taemin trust him again but this time, it won't be easy. He is a known artist in Japan and now, also in Korea so he have to be mindful of his actions or Taemin's career would get affected.

Taemin as Shion have a scheduled photoshoot for a magazine that would promote his album so he got ready with his clothes.

"You cried again.. aigoo." Kibum patted Shion's shoulder as he started to work wonders on his hair and later on, on his swollen face.

"Is it that bad?"

"Tell me how bad it could get after you bawled your eyes out. So he already know that you're indeed his Taemin."

"Just Taemin. I'm not his anymore."

"Oh. Haha. But do you still have any feelings for him, at least?"

"That love won't be gone easily but the pain is still here, so as much as I want to be with him, I have to learn how to forgive first. If I would take him back this early, I would also let Shion get killed with my own hands. I don't want him to get carried away just because he is lonely and he needs comfort."

"But just one tip okay? Don't be too hard on yourself. It's fine to let go and learn how to forgive. Don't dwell on the past so much. And if ever he really changed for you, maybe you could give him a chance. Besides, it's already been more than 2 years."

"I'll see."

Taemin have finished his shoot but he was surprised to see a face too familiar that he swore he'd never forget. He never thought he'd personally see the tall, fair skinned NBA player and model from China named Kris Wu, the man Jongin chose over him.

"Oh. I think I've seen you before, sir?"

"Oh my it's Shion! Wow. I never thought I'd see you here. I'm a fan actually. Can I get a sign? Sadly I don't have your album with me today."

"Oh so you're a fan? Thank you. What's your name again? You're a brand ambassador for a luxury brand right?"

"Yeah but now I am a model for banking companies. It's Kris Wu."

"Ah, a shift of career. Okay, Kris Wu. There. Thank you for being a fan."

"I never thought I'd meet you here in Seoul. Nice to meet you."

"No worries." 

_"You're handsome. Are you free tonight? Maybe we could meet and get to know each other more. Call me at 81-xxxx-xxxx. I'll wait for it. Xoxo Shion"_ Kris was staring at the paper Taemin signed.

"Wow. So I also get to have my idol Shion? Okay. I better prepare. _Uhm hello? Shion? This is Kris Wu. Yeah.. so it's a date tonight?_.."

"_Okay. See you later. Bye._ Ahm, Kibum hyung, can I borrow the car? I'll just be going somewhere.." Taemin told Kibum after he ended Kris' call. They were at the dining area near the kitchen so Jongin heard it, and have listened to what they're talking about.

"I'm sorry Shion but Tyrone haven't lifted your driving ban. We just want you to be safe. And where would you be going? Maybe I could just drop you there."

"Ah, I'll just be having a date at a cafe. We might enjoy each other's company so don't wait for me to come home. I'll just go back here tomorrow or I'll go straight to rehearsals."

"You'll be having a date? Isn't that dangerous? I mean, you're famous and you'll be meeting someone in a cafe all by yourself?" Jonghyun who's at the couch interrogated as well since he's worried for Shion.

"We would just meet at a cafe. We won't stay long because I've already booked a room for us to stay at."

"Woah Shion ah. Are you sure about that? You just met the guy, yet you'd want to get laid so bad?" Kibum was getting irritated because Taemin is having a rebellion again.

"I already planned and waited for this day so just let me, okay?"

"Can you tell us at least which hotel? So if anything happens, you could give us a ring and we'd come to rescue you?"

"Maybe later when I get there. I'll just send you the details, hyung."

"Taemin ah, are you sure about this?" Finally, Jongin spoke up. He was worried and if there's a chance that he could stop Taemin from going out, he would but he was just set aside.

"It's been a while since I became sure so I'll grab this opportunity. I may never have this chance again. Anyways I'll just prepare. No need to count me in for the dinner menu, I'll get some food at room service." Jongin's world literally crashed down when Taemin blurted out his plans for tonight and Jongin's quite sure that Taemin would be getting laid. He hates it so much because he could've just make love with Taemin right at his own room but now, he have to go out on dates just to quench his thirst.

"Taemin ah, can you somehow at least tell me who your date is?" Kibum is still worried about Taemin's plans, especially he doesn't know anything about it.

"He's a model and he confessed he's a huge fan. He's handsome and he seems to like me not just as his idol so I'll try to give it a shot. Don't worry, I'll be fine. Besides, I have nothing to lose."

"You have everything to lose! Your career, your new life and of course your heart! I don't want to see the depressed Taemin again. I don't want to see you cry again because of a man who can't love you when you love him the most." Kibum tried his best to stop Taemin but he seems to be very firm with his decision.

"Thanks for your concern, hyung but don't worry. Trust me on this one. And I will surely call you if ever it's a fail and I need to get rescued."

"Alright. I'll keep my phone in check."

Kris was already at the cafe where they agreed to meet when Shion arrived.

"Hello Kris! Sorry if I only arrived just now. I went to the studio to fit some clothes and got a bit stucked on the road on my way here."

"It's okay. I just got here a few minutes ago too. Are you going to venture onto modelling soon?"

"Not quite sure. I'm not as tall as you and not as handsome as you."

"Come on, Shion. You're handsome. Heck, you even look so beautiful. I'm quite lucky that I get to see you and be with you this close. I bet thousands and millions of your fans would kill me just to be with you."

"They're not like that. And it's also an honor to be with supermodel Kris for some drinks. What would you like to have?"

"A cup of iced caramel macchiato would do. But let me pay, it's fine."

"No. I was the one who asked you out so I'll pay. Just chill, okay? I'll be quick."

Shion went to the counter and put some sleeping powder on Kris' iced caramel macchiato. He sipped on his own iced double chocolate as he went back to the table.

"I also got a cake for us. I hope you're okay with cheesecakes."

"Yeah it's fine. And I know you like cheese so I figured. Hehe."

"When did you become a fan?"

"Since you became a singer. You made it big in Japan and during that time, I was really down. I was left by someone I lived with for 2 years. But it was my fault, I didn't take care of him. When I listened to your songs, I acknowledged my pain and eventually, had hope. I've changed now, I'm not the Kris Wu that was dumped because I was too egotistic."

"Oh so it's a tragic story. But I hope you're doing okay? I hope my songs did their job on cheering you up."

"It did and I'm quite fine now. Sometimes, I just can't help but think how he is doing now, though I know he won't like it if I appear before him. He might get terrified of me, after all the things I did to him."

"May I ask.. what happened to him?"

"Let's just say that I have recovered from sadism."

"Oh. So you like those things.. that's interesting."

"Why do you say so? Aren't you turned off or scared?"

"I kind of want to try it.. Kinks.. like guns, bondage, ropes, blindfolds and such. For whip, not really because I don't want to perform with a whipped butt."

"You like those kinds of things too?"

"Yeah but it would be very weird if I do that to myself, right? Uhm, would you like to help me with that?"

"Uhm.. are you sure about that?"

"Do I look like joking? Besides, I'm staying at a hotel nearby. It's okay, you don't have to deny. I know you somehow miss it but don't worry, I won't let you get triggered. I'll make sure we'd enjoy it."

"Oh. Okay."

Shion and Kris arrived at the hotel room and the moment they step inside, Shion kissed Kris so hard.

"You don't know.. how much I.. oh gosh."

"Slow down, Shion ah."

"I can't! I'm feeling too hot!" But Kris responded to all of Shion's kisses. After some hot makeout session, Shion felt the sleeping powder kicking on Kris as he's slowly losing energy.

"Ah I hate this. It's always the opposite effect when I drink coffee. I'm getting sleepy."

"Would you like to take a nap? An hour or so? We're not in a hurry anyways. Just.. let me touch you while you sleep."

"Alright alright do as you please."

Taemin did everything he could do to tie up Kris at the bed, with his wrist together above his head with a silk fabric, also his legs spread wide. Kris's clothes are all over the floor except for his underwear and Taemin have plans for it later on. He took his top and jeans off too, and settled with his boxer shorts for a more convincing scene.

"Hyung, we're now here at room 1014 at Novotel. I don't know if this will turn out well but please pray that I will. This is a bit dangerous but I will do my best to succeed." Shion called Kibum who's getting anxious at the house. Jongin who purposely eavesdropped got more anxious than him, knowing that his Taemin is really about get laid tonight.

"Ya Shion you can't just-. Aigoo!"

"What happened? Where is he? Is his date a bastard? Ah eotteokhae I have to rescue him! Can I go instead of you?"

"Okay. Uhm 1014 at Novotel. Ah I should've not let him go out tonight!"

"Don't worry, I'll take him home safe and sound."

"Thank you. Be careful in driving! And call me when you're together okay? Here's the car key."

"Thanks, Kibum hyung." Jongin hurriedly went to drive to the damned hotel.

Taemin was playing with his phone by the couch on the living room while Kris was still sound asleep even after almost an hour. He was so comfortable with the silence that he was startled when he got a call from Kibum.

"Taemin ah, Jongin is on his way there. He'll rescue you. Endure a little more, okay? Ah jinjja I should've not allowed you to go out!"

"I'm okay hyung. He's asleep."

"Thank goodness! When Jongin arrives, the two of you better come home! That guy might spread rumors about you!"

"Yes hyung."

"I've instructed Jongin to call me when you're together. Make sure that the two of you will be safe, okay? I'll wait for the call."

"Hai." Taemin knew that Jongin would arrive anytime soon so he opened up a bottle of cherry blossom sake and lighted a cigarette. He also left the door unlocked so Jongin could go inside easily.

Taemin settled at the balcony of the hotel room a few steps from the door. He contemplated on what he should do to the helpless Kris Wu, when he admitted that he just recovered from sadism because of his songs. Apparently, Kris was Taemin's poison while Taemin was Kris' medicine. Taemin might've healed Kris but it is Kris who have killed Taemin.

"TAEMIN!!!" The door swang open with Jongin panting from the adrenaline. When he saw that his love is by the balcony, he went to hug him.

"Taemin!! Are you okay? Did that jerk hurt you? Let's go home or he might come after us!"

"Relax. I'm okay. Nothing's wrong. Everything is actually under my control. He's sleeping at the room."

"Huh?"

"You could see for yourself." Jongin was dumbfounded but he eventually went to check Taemin's 'date', and was shocked to see the person he ran away from a few months ago. But he didn't get threatened because he saw Kris with his wrists tied together, his legs spread out on the sides of the bed. He only have his underwear on, and he is snoring. He went back to Taemin that's on his third cigarette and on his second glass of sakura sake.

"How was it? Seeing him again but this time, helpless?"

"How come.. how did this happen?"

"I met him at a shoot. He's a fan and I was able to get the chance to lure him out for a date. We went on some talks over coffee, but I got some sleeping powder on his, resulting him to be like that. At first, I was angry at that person, that very person I kissed so my acting would be convincing because he was the reason why I was abandoned by the love of my life. I wanted to do lots of things to him. I wanted to torture him, be the sadist that he used to be so he would feel how painful it is physically. Then leave him sore and bleeding the next day, when he was hoping that there are feelings involved. Somehow, I wanted to get revenge for you, too. For luring you out and for making you go with him, leaving everything that we had behind but I realized, that man is the same as me. He was also devastated when you left and guess what? He found comfort and acknowledged his pain and wrongdoings. He was just like me and even if he did me wrong, what I unknowingly did was heal him when he was the very reason why I was killed."

"Taemin.."

"Would you like to get back at him? This is your chance. He have changed now, he told me he recovered from his sadism. It would be better if you'll talk or straighten things. That person also deserve to know why you left even though he is aware of it. Who knows, the two of you could get back together.."

"But Taemin.. I've told you I love you.."

"You're saying that because you haven't tried it yet. Go ahead and wake him up. He have slept for long now. I'm sure he'd be happy to see you again. He was just afraid that you'd get terrified if he appears in front of your eyes. Don't worry, I'll just finish this."

"Kris.. Kris Wu, wake up!"

"Huh? Shion? Oh? Kai?"

"Yeah, it's me. Kai."

"How did you.. where's Shion?"

"He's just smoking at the balcony."

"How come you're here?"

"He called me. Uhm actually.. Shion.. he's the one I left when I stayed with you in Hong Kong."

"What?"

"That Shion is my Taemin."

"Oh my gosh. I fucked up so much.."

"Is that true? That you're healed now?"

"Yeah. I went to rehab and got medication for that. And you could see, I'm not the dominant one now."

"That's good. Though I never thought you'd get devastated when I left.."

"I did. Because I thought that I was treating you right. It turns out that I've went too far. And I'm very sorry for all the things I've done. For all the physical and emotional pain that I've inflicted to you during the time we lived together."

"I've moved on since I was able to escape. Sadly, I still wasn't able to move on from another thing. Taemin.. he found out about everything and he haven't forgiven me yet."

"You really love him so much, huh? Even if you lived with me for 2 years, you still went back to him."

"I'm sorry to break your heart but I really love Taemin. I love him and I think of him even if we were together before. I'm sorry."

"It's no biggie. Besides, I was able to move on from you because of Shion's songs. Ah, can you help me get untied? I want to go to him, say sorry and thank you for everything. I did him wrong especially when I took you away from him."

"Uhm.."

"You might still be scared but I promise I won't pin you up to the wall. I've recovered from it. Or if you want you could just take out the ropes on my legs. Leave my wrists tied together so you'd feel secure."

"Okay." But when Jongin and Kris went out of the bedroom, the whole hotel room is empty. The bottle of sake was sitting empty at the coffee table and half the pack of cigarettes were finished. There's also a note by the ash tray saying _"I hope you'd be able to forgive each other and get back together. You're a perfect couple and you've lived together for 2 years. It would be a waste to throw it all away. Don't worry, this time, you have my blessing so you don't have to feel bad nor feel sorry for me. I've also forgiven the two of you so don't mind me. Keep that wonderful love alive, I'm happy for you. Thank you for everything, and sorry for this random plot. I wish you well and have a happy life together. Goodbye. -Taemin"_

"Fucking fuck he ran away again!" Jongin wasn't able to hold his emotions in that he knelt down the floor and cried.

After finishing all the sakura sake and left half of the cigarettes, Taemin saw how dearly Kris and Jongin talked at the bedroom.

"Of course, that's 2 years of cohabitation. It wouldn't be forgotten too easily. Now that Jongin have fixed the reason why he ran away from Kris, he could go back to continue the love they shared. That's it, fairy Taemin. You've just granted the wish of two lovers in love. We have to get out of here or we'll spoil them." Taemin got dressed, took his things and silently left the hotel room. He just told the front desk to give the hotel visitors on room 1014 a ring a few hours before check out and paid for it, got in a taxi and went to the other hotel room he booked that's near the fanmeeting location the next day.

Taemin told his hyungs Jonghyun and Kibum to book the earliest flight back to Japan so he could go back home as soon as he finish the fanmeeting. This time, he is really decided to leave everything behind, including Jongin.


	11. 마지막 인사 // Last Greeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *mentions of suicide/attempted suicide, sadism, masochism, martyrdom,

It's only 8am when Taemin arrived at the location to go to the piano room and catch some sleep because he was just staring at the hotel ceiling the whole night even if he drank the sakura sake. After 4 hours, he was awakened by Jonghyun and Kibum with all their luggages packed since they'd go straight to the airport after the event.

"Care to tell us what happened last night?"

"I just helped Jongin get back to his love."

"So he's back with Taemin? Uwaah! Congratulations!" Kibum was relieved that Taemin didn't get into trouble and was rescued by Jongin, plus they got back together.

"Nope. He's back with Kris. The one he chose over Taemin. It feels good to see how they made up. Besides, Jongin only ran away from him because he's been abused. Now that Kris is healed and he's on his right mind, they could continue their love."

"Wow. Of all the things that happened to you, I mean the car accident, you blacking out at Arashiyama Forest Park and getting depressed because of him, helping them get back together is the biggest suicide you did. Kris is a sadist, Jongin is a masochist and you're a martyr? A person who would sacrifice getting hurt for his love's happiness? Did you even asked Jongin about his feelings and who he would choose between the two of you?"

"He deserves it. He deserves that love from him. He chose that person over me once and I'm pretty sure that if you'd ask him on who he'll choose, he'd undoubtedly choose him again."

"Aigoo."

"I have to give up so I could move on from him. And I could only do that when I have also forgiven myself for not being enough. That man is a perfect catch, and I'll give Jongin to him so they could be happy together."

"Ah, what should we do with you. If your brother is here, he might've freaked out again with your sudden dates and hotel check ins. If Sehun and Hayi was here, they would go hysterical over your decision to let go of Jongin when you've screamed and shouted at us to get Jongin back to you before. But if that's what you really feel and that's what you need, then let it be. We'll be here to support you."

"Thank you, hyungs."

Jongin and Kris talked about Taemin as they stayed at the hotel room. They don't have cars so they decided to just go home after sunrise. Kris consoled Jongin but he didn't stop crying while he was talking about his memories with Taemin.

"You know, actually he has a fanmeeting tomorrow. Maybe we could go there and you could clarify things with him!"

"Fanmeeting?"

"Yes. I am a fan so I know about it. I have a vvip ticket but I'll give it to you because I know you need it more than I do. I'll just get a vip ticket instead. This might be the last chance, all or nothing for you so do your best to get him back. Explain that even if we're okay now, we only settled to be friends. And tell him that you love him."

"Yes, I will. Thank you for your help."

The soundcheck have started and Taemin saw Chanyeol and Baekhyun by the staff entrance waving at him. The couple sent some flowers plus churros and coffee as snacks for the hardworking team and Taemin was more than happy.

"Hello to the two of you, welcome to the soundcheck. Hehe."

"Congratulations to you, Shion ah! Who would've thought that you'd make it this big! Though I must say that I still slay here in Korea with my songs."

"It's okay, I don't want to go head to head with you so I debuted in Japan instead. And before I forgot, congratulations on your marriage and on your little one! I saw the pictures and your son is so cute!"

"Ah yeah. But even if he's adopted, we'll make sure that we'd give him a love more than enough like he's our own. And I hope you'd have your own too. Aish what is Jongin doing.."

"Ah no, we didn't get back."

"Huh? But you're practically living together at your house.."

"Nope. And he's back with that model Kris."

"What? That sadist? Oh my Taemin you have to rescue Jongin!"

"No, it's okay. They're okay now. The guy is healed since he went through rehab and theraphy. They've made out and they're back together. We have to just let them live happily. 2 years living together is not wasted so it's good."

"How about you, you don't love Jongin anymore?" Taemin sighed at Baekhyun's question.

"As much as I do, I don't think it'll be pursued. I'm too devastated, broken and shattered. I still have to fix myself alone before I get into a relationship again. And I'll be okay, I could play with Luhan and Seha back home."

"Aw. Anyways I wish you well! We'll watch the fanmeeting like a critic by the vvip so give us a shout later okay?"

"Okay."

Shion's fanmeeting have started and he sang the songs in his album, both the Japanese and Korean songs. He answers some of the questions fans have personally written on a piece of paper and give laughs to the audience. Somehow, the last question caught his full attention.

"Omo. Okay. So this question.. it's from the vvip team and it goes like this: _'Hi Shion oppa, do you have a favorite breakup or sad song that could somehow extract our feelings other than your own songs?'_ And my answer is yes, I do have. I have three actually but since it would take time to sing all of those, I'd sing some parts of the two then sing the full song that goes in number one. I don't know if you know them but the first song is from H.O.T's Jang Woohyuk and Urban Zakapa's Jo Hyunah. The title is _'Back To The Memories'_." Shion sat by the piano at the stage and started to play the intro of the song.

_"Baby where you at, neoneun jigeum right now? Baby I need you, naneun jigeum right now? Geuttaero dollyeodallago gaseumeuro subaek beon. Oechinda oechinda gieogege oechinda. Siganeul dollyeo dasi honja nameun nae bang, neoege dallyeogago isseo nan. Tteonabeorin neoneun imi yeope eomneunde. Nameun gieok soge neoege nan oechine. Idaero nal barabwa nuguboda neol saranghaetjanha. Baby why me? geudaeneun nal dugo tteonaganeunde? I cannot let you go, idaero tteonajima amu mareobsi nal tteonagajima. Nal saranghandamyeon I cannot let u go, idaero tteonajima amu mareobsi nal tteonagajima.."_ (Baby where you at - you, right now? Baby I need you - me, right now? To my heart, I ask to take me back thousands of times. I shout, shout, shout to my memories. Turn back time to my room where I am alone, I am running toward you. You, who has left, is not by my side, In my remaining memories, I shout out to you. Look at me like this, I loved you more than anyone. Baby why me - you are leaving me? I cannot let you go, don't leave like this - don't leave without saying a word. If you love me - I cannot let you go, don't leave like this - don't leave without saying a word)

The crowd cheered as Taemin belted out some high notes.

"Ah thank you thank you. For the songs of the broken hearted, I choose songs that aren't too mainstream. And somehow, I pick songs that have that impact to our emotions, that as soon as you hear it's first few beats, you know that you'd cry in the middle of the song. Haha. And okay, the second one.. Do you know Leessang? Of course you do. So let's perform '_Tears_' featuring Song Yujin from The Seeya." Shion played the heavy piano and hummed.

_"Jobeun golmoggil sai honja nunmul. Nuga bolkkabwa mollae humchin nunmul. Yaghae jiji anheuryeo balbeo dungeul chiryeoda nae nunmul. Jibap gyedangil arae honja nunmul. Niga alkkabwa mollae humchin nunmul. Yaghae jiji anheuryeo balbeo dungeul chiryeoda nae nunmul nunmul nunmul. Tto dasi nunmul nunmul nunmul. Sori eobsi tto I don't wanna know; nae gieogeul da beonji gehae. Jobeun golmoggil sai honja nunmul. Nuga bolkkabwa mollae humchin nunmul. Yaghae jiji anheuryeo balbeo dungeul chiryeoda nae nunmul. Jibap gyedangil arae honja nunmul. Niga alkkabwa mollae humchin nunmul. Yaghae jiji anheuryeo balbeo dungeul chiryeoda nae nunmul.."_ (Alone between narrow streets in tears. In case someone sees, I secretly shed tears. I try so hard not to become weak because of my tears. Sit alone on the stairs in front of my house in tears. In case you find out, I secretly shed tears. I try so hard not to become weak because of my tears, tears, tears. Once again, there's tears, tears, tears. Again silently – I don’t wanna know; It smears my memories. Alone between narrow streets in tears. In case someone sees, I secretly shed tears. I try so hard not to become weak because of my tears. Sit alone on the stairs in front of my house in tears. In case you find out, I secretly shed tears. I try so hard not to become weak because of my tears.)

Taemin is delighted with the response of the audience with the songs he sing. He smiled at everyone but saw two people he never wanted to see again. Jongin was at the vvip section while Kris is at the vip bordering the vvip. Taemin thought that they're out for a Shion's fans date on his fanmeeting so he just shrugged off.

"And the last for our set.. before we have to say goodbye, I want to thank everyone who have supported me, especially to all of you who came to see me. I'm very happy to receive love from you and I promise, if my schedule permits, I'd have a Korean album released and maybe a bigger showcase? Thank you for supporting me even if I am a singer from a different country. I'd say that I'll miss you all, along with the warm acceptance. Don't worry, we'll be releasing some video footages of my trip here in Korea. Look forward to it on our channel so don't forget to subscribe."

"Shion saranghae!"

"Oh haha. Gomawo. Nado saranghae! And then for the last song, I'd sing my favorite song ever. This song is already old, it's released 2009 and I'm not pretty sure if you know this but this is worth singing, I swear. This song is very special to me because this is a song that made me meet the former love of my life, my '_the one that got away_'. Afterwards if you like it, you could just search and listen to the original version. It's After School's '_Because Of You_'." Shion got himself ready and played some random keys first before he played the intro.

_"ajikdo.. na geudaereul itji motae. I'll never forget oohh. I'll never forget oh. Heeojin ji beolsseo myeot nyeoni jinanneun ji molla geudae saenggangman hamyeon jakku nunmulman heulleo. Oneulttara wae geureoke nega bogopeulkka? Chang bakkui bissoriga nae maeumeul heundeureonwa."_ (I still can’t get over you. I'll never forget, oh.. I'll never forget.. Oh. Can’t remember how many years since we broke up but I cry every time when I think about you. Why I’m so eager to see you today? The sound of rain droplets leaves my heart shaken up.)

While Shion was taken over by Taemin at the piano playing by his heart as he have his eyes closed, Jongin got chills. He remember that song very well, that was the song Taemin sang at that bar on the same night he went out to drink. That night, Taemin was dumped by Baekhyun while he was dumped by Chanyeol. It was the song that made them know each other, be close with each other and get comfortable with each other. Jongin's eyes started to water as he listened to Taemin's emotional voice.

_"saranghaji mal geol geuraesseo, jeong juji mal geol geuraesseo, butjapji mal geol geuraesseo. wae ireoke na honja apa? nan hangsang neomanui jangmiga doeryeodeon nae maeumeul ani? ije jogak nan sarangui machimpyoga dwaetdaneun geol. nunmuri millyeowa memareun ipsuri jeojeo.. ije eotteokhae geudael ijeul su eobseo?" _(I regret giving you my love, I regret getting attached to you, I regret holding you back. Why do I have to face the pain alone? I tried to be your only one but did you ever understood my heart? Now it became the compass of broken love. Tears are flowing down and it soaks the dry lips. What should I do, I can’t erase you out of my mind?)

Baekhyun and Chanyeol saw Jongin by the other side of the vvip area so they went to him, but his eyes were still fixed to Shion singing and playing the piano.

_"geu naldo biga wasseotji hanchameul geudaen mal eobsi. nareul barabogiman haesseo. heundeullineun nunbitgwa aesseo jitneun eosaekhan misoga ibyeoreul yaegihae jwo.."_ (It also rained on that day you’ve stared at me wordlessly. You’ve stared at nothing else but me. Those trembling gazes and the awkward smile speaks of our separation.)

"Jongin ah, are you okay?" Chanyeol poked Jongin's shoulder and reacted but got his eyes fixed back to Shion.

_"Nabogo tteonarago hal ttaen eonjego tteonandanikka eojjeogo michin saram chwigeumman hae. Jeongmal himdeureo, boy slow down. Amureon maldo motan chae ureo cause I want to stay next to you. My love is true, wanna go back to when I was with you."_ (You told me to leave and the moment I left, you treat me as if I’m insane. It’s just too hard, boy slow down. Then I cry without a word cause I want to stay next to you. My love is true, wanna go back to when I was with you.)

"What's your problem? I'm listening to Shion perform! Please pay respect, hyung!"

"After the performance, we'll be going backstage. Just want to let you know and somehow help you of you need it? Because judging how the two of you are now, there's something off."

"Okay. I'll go later. Kris is with me, he wants to also talk to Taemin."

"What?" Chanyeol was dumbfounded but just shifted his focus back to Shion who's soulfully singing now, changing the song's tempo by slowing down and broadening, becoming more stately and majestic, and louder towards Allargando.

  
_"I miss you, I need you. Kkum sogeseon ajikdo I'm with you. I miss you, I need you. Siganeul doedollyeo wanna kiss you again my boy. Maeumi neomu apeunde, gyeondigi goerounde. Neoneun eodiseo mwol hani? Na ureosseo cham manhi. Neo eobsin nan mot sarajeo. Naegero dorawajwo nal tteonagaji ma. Neo ttaemune manhido ureosseo, neo ttaemune manhido useosseo. manhido useo nan. Neo ttaemune sarangeul mideosseo, oh yeah neo ttaemune, neo ttaemune modu da irheosseo. Jeongmal dap dapdaphae, gap gapgaphae, mak makmakhae. Neo eomneun sesangi nae maeumeul simeonohgo, jajonsim jitbarbanohgo. Nae maeumeul jjijeonohgo. Wae nareul tteonaga?"_ (I miss you, I need you. Even in my dreams, I’m with you. I miss you, I need you. Rewind back the time, I wanna kiss you again my boy. My heart aches, It’s too much to bear. And where are you? I already cried a lot. I can’t live without you. Please come back and stay with me. I cried a lot because of you, I laughed a lot because of you, I laughed a lot. I believed in the love because of you. I’ve lost everything because of you. I’m frustrated, suffocated and lonely. The world without you has chewed my words out, trampled on my dignity and tore my heart apart. Why did you leave me behind?)

Shion have shed some tears that is quite obvious especially when his voice cracked. There are also teardrop trails on his cheeks reflected by the stage lights. After the song, he titled his face away from the audience and carefully wiped his tears.

Jongin wasn't able to hold his tears anymore that Baekhyun and Chanyeol eventually patted his back to calm him down, reminding him that they will help him talk to Taemin after the show.

Taemin completed his last bow and as soon as he got off the stage, he ran back to his waiting room where Kibum and Jonghyun are.

"Hyung!!"

"Ssshhh. It's okay. We know and we are ready for this. It's okay, you can cry it out, you don't have schedules for tomorrow."

"Just make sure that you have reasons to tell Tyrone why your eyes and your whole face is swollen. You know your brother, but I'm sure that if you'd tell him about it, he'll understand your decision."

"It hurts so much. He's there; he watched me and what's worse is he's crying. We're both crying because of the same song."

"Aigoo.. how do we handle this."

"Why don't you just talk to him? Give him a chance to make it up to you."

"No. He was with Kris. Well it's okay now, we've finished all our activities here in Korea. We should definitely go back home. There's no point in staying and I understand it all now."

"Okay. Drink water first so you could calm down. Join us, the food is already served, we should eat before we go."

"I'm okay. Maybe I'll just eat the in-flight meals."

"Are you sure? Would you be okay if we leave? We'll just get the food, we'll eat here so you won't get depressed again."

"Yeah sure go ahead." But before Jonghyun and Kibum went to get food, someone knocked at the door. Jonghyun opened it and Taemin sighed in relief because it's Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

"Shion ahhh!!! Congratulations!! You did well! You rocked your first Korean fanmeet! I'm very proud of you! Ahm yes Chanyeol and I are very proud of you!" The couple gave Taemin another congratulatory flower bouquet that made Taemin smile.

"I know that face. I know you cried but I'm really sorry, Jongin wants to talk to you. He's outside and he's waiting for you."

"Taemin ah, would you be okay?"

"And Kris is also there."

"Oh. Ahhh jinjja. I guess it can't be helped. I have to hear them out and talk to them before I leave. Maybe this is also what I need - closure. I'll just fix myself, please tell them to wait for me at the piano room."


	12. 집으로 돌아오다 // Come Back Home

Just as instructed, Jongin and Kris waited for Shion at the piano room. Jongin still can't calm down so Kris tried his best to console his ex.

"You have to tell him that you love him. I'll back it up and clear everything so he would stop thinking that we got back, and you love him so you don't want to be with me again even if I'm healed."

"Thank you. Taeminnie.. this is a huge misunderstanding. Maybe he really thought that I would choose you. I'm sorry for this but really.. ah jinjja." After a few pat on Jongin's shoulders, the door swung open with Taemin that is free of make up. He have washed his face free of anything so it won't be too obvious that he bawled out just a few minutes ago.

"Baekhyun hyung and Chanyeol hyung told me you want to talk. Yes? What is it?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything and for all the pain I've caused you, especially when I took Jongin away from you. He told me that you are together when I was already in love with him, and with my selfishness and egotism I made him go with me instead. I know who you are now, he told me that it was you, that love he left and went with me, even if you waited for him."

"When did you found out that he's in a relationship? From the start? Yet he didn't do anything to stop?"

"No I.."

"I wasn't able to tell him soon, I only told him when I wanted to stop because I still want to come back to you. But then I gave in to him."

"You were out in Europe for a month and you only wanted to stop when you were only about to go home?"

"Yes. I'm sorry."

"So you've fucked each other for that entire trip and lived together for 2 years. Wow, congratulations. So the two of you was able to think of me yet didn't have the conscience to stop. It's clear to me now. Anything else before I start to talk?"

"We didn't get back together. We talked and agreed to remain friends. And I love you so I choose you. I don't want to be with him because I want to be with you instead. I love you Taemin, I really do. Please believe me."

"Jongin.. you really want to have me back huh?"

"Yes. Please don't leave me."

"You're acting like you're the one so hurt and like you're the one left. The one who got abandoned without consideration of that one year relationship we had. And now I just found out that you've been playing and fucking around with that guy while we were still together. Tell me, when we talked before your flight back, was he with you? Because I still remember all your reactions from that cramped leg."

"I'm sorry. Yes he's with me."

"Was he fucking you while you were talking to me?"

"Yes."

"Wow. Unbelievable. Bravo. You really don't have a conscience. You were talking to me while you were getting fucked. Getting the best of both worlds, aren't we? Very nice."

"I've changed, Taemin! I'm sorry Kris but Taemin, I suffered a lot from him and that's when I realize that you're the one I really love. And when Baekhyun told me that you were gone, I was devastated too, so I cried hard and relieved when I met you at your fansign event. Taemin, I love you so much. I'm sorry, I did wrong but please believe me that I love you even to this day."

"Anything you wish to say?"

"Taemin, I really love you. I may have left but I'm back, I'm here now. And if I would have to choose this time, I will definitely choose you. I love you so much, I'll be honest to you from now on. Please believe me."

"And you?"

"Aside from sorry, I really need your harsh words. I'll take that because I know I deserve it."

"Anything else to say? None? Okay. It's my turn to talk.. This is unbelievable. I know I'm still floating because I just got off from performing but wow, the two of you were really made for each other. Perfect for each other. Now that Kris is healed, you could literally come back to him. But you don't like that, right? Because you love me and you choose me? Yeah right. Jonginnie, that's not love. That's narcissism. You realized that you love me when you suffered in his hands? That's not love, that's convenience. You getting fucked for a month while we have been constantly communicating, that's not love, that's you getting an assurance that even if you're getting fucked and you've fucked up lots of times, in your mind there's someone you'd go home to. Someone who will accept you wholly and shrug all of your wrongdoings because they love you. I was with you when you got dumped by Chanyeol and since then I have trusted you and loved you. My family even approves of you but in a snap, you're all over someone else even if we're doing good. Maybe that's where it went bad, I thought we were good yet one day I didn't get to see any glimpse of Kim Jongin anymore because you left and went to live with him. I waited for you that damn day and all I saw was that fucking letter and that chick plushie you've returned. Everything crashed down on me that I crashed my own car when I blacked out. I know I've already told you about this but fucking fuck I should've just died in that accident! I don't know why but after that, I still cried a lot wanting to see you but my best friend fed me with the truth that you're gone. Finally after mourning over my dead heart, I started a new life as Shion after going through a very hard road of moving on and moving forward then now you're telling me you love me and you choose me? As much as I love you, I'm sorry but I can't and I won't take you back. You've already killed Taemin, I won't allow you to kill Shion as well. You're still lucky that I'm here talking to you because it's not in my plans to talk to you again nor to give a closure to you. I love you, Jongin. I love you with everything that I have including my life that when you abandoned me, I died. It's not easy to take you back even if you prove me that you really love me."

"Taemin, I love you. Just believe in those words, I'll accept all the wrath, just please let me back into your life. Let me make it up to you."

"No need, I can do it myself. I will move on by myself, I will fix myself, I won't depend on anyone else but myself and if you really want me to love you again and take you back, I'll need this time by myself. No distractions from you or anything. Just like in that song, I cried a lot because of you, I laughed a lot because of you, I believed in love because of you but I’ve also lost everything because of you. I’m frustrated, suffocated and lonely. The world without you have chewed my words out, stomped on my dignity and tore my heart apart. And even if you tell me why you left or even if you came back, it would never be the same again."

"Please Taeminnie.."

"I'm sorry, Jongin but I've already decided. Don't ever try to make efforts just to take me back. It will just annoy me. This time, I'll be the one leaving. Who knows, one day when I get to forgive and forget and you still love me, I'd take you again but don't expect nor wait for it. Live your life how you usually do, be free more than how you enjoy the freedom and liberty of being away with your boyfriend. Do whatever you want to do, I won't interfere, I won't hold you back. We're not a couple anymore and just to remind you, you were the one who changed that. Mr. Wu and Mr. Kim, take care and enjoy your life. One day, I'll be able to completely forgive you and all the things you've done but it'll definitely be not today. I'll have to go, I still have to be with my crew to celebrate. If you're hungry, you could get food at the pantry. The buffet is already serving food. Thank you, I needed this talk too. Now, I could finally end this part of the story. I wish the two of you well. Jongin, Taemin loves you so much but sadly, you killed him. I love you too, but I'll have to choose Shion first over you because I don't want him to die too. This is Lee Taemin at his worse, and I hope you understand that I have to go far away from you. Enjoy your life. Thanks for loving Shion too." Taemin coldheartedly left the piano room and just like before, have burst into tears as soon as he arrived his waiting room.

"I guess it didn't turn out right now that you're bawling again and this time, worse than a while ago."

"I want to go home. I can't take any pain anymore."

"We will. I'll get our luggages at the car then afterwards, we'll go back home."

**2019**

After Shion left Jongin with that 'closure', Jongin tried his best to get distracted and the best thing he did was to enlist at the military. His service were fulfilled and he just got off from his discharge ceremony, walking towards Chanyeol and Baekhyun's car who went to fetch him from the camp.

"Welcome back to the civilian world, model Kai!! We missed you! Our Yumin miss you too!"

"Hello! I'm pretty sure you don't remember me anymore but I'm uncle Kai, and we could be friends! Ah so cute. Finally, I'm free. Good thing I was able to survive everything."

"We all know you would. Haha. Anyways just so you know, as soon as now I will inform you about your schedule. In one week, we have Tokyo Fashion Week. Then we also have fashion weeks in Hong Kong, Shanghai, Paris, New York, London, Milan, Berlin, Madrid and Australia, then back in Seoul."

"Wow, we're going on a world tour?"

"World tour? Yes, world tour. We'll start at Japan and we'd meet two other models that will join us. They are newly signed models so I need you to be the nice senior who would teach them well."

"Wow, never thought that you'll get to have a modelling agency. Haha."

"Shut it. Don't forget, you're the first on the list so you better do your job."

"Yes manager hyung."

Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Yumin went with Jongin on the same flight to Japan but they experienced delays on the estimated time of arrival. Yumin is already irritated and wanted to sleep so Baekhyun tend to him, making Chanyeol more annoyed. Good thing Jongin is there to help him with all their luggages.

"Aish of all days, why do we have to get delayed for 3 hours?!?! Aigoo. I hope they didn't wait for us for a long time! I swear they're gonna kill me."

"Who?"

"The other two models."

"Are they Japanese?"

"They are Koreans who live here in Japan. They'd also help us communicate here since we don't know a lot of the language."

"Oh. Now I feel relieved. I'd be able to survive with their help."

"Jongin, can you check if the flight from UKB to HND by ANA have arrived?"

"Yeah sure. Jjamkkan." Jongin went to the schedule of flights and saw that the flight from UKB to HND have already landed an hour ago.

"The plane have landed an hour ago."

"Aish aigoo jinjja. Kaja, we have to meet them! B, are you okay there with Yumin?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Let's go."

Baekhyun got a message from Sehun saying that they're by the domestic private lounge since he is with Shion to avoid fans flocking the way. Taemin is Shion again completely bundled up and disguised. He's wearing a blue hoodie with the name 'Taemin' so his aqua blue hair won't get exposed to public.

"Are they already here?"

"Baekhyun told me they just got off from the gates."

"Good thing we don't have to wait longer."

"Would you be okay with this?"

"Yes. I'll try my best not to be too hard to myself and to Jongin. Both of us deserve love and peace, and I'm willing to try and believe in him again. If ever it's a fail, at least I'd still be his friend instead of a stranger that he once had memories with."

"Bravo. Alright. Ah how about the car, is it already by the parking lot?"

"I got Kibum hyung to drive it here."

"It's really a good thing to have a superstar best friend. Car companies gives you a car to use especially for this event."

"I'm not a superstar. I'm just a singer."

"Yeah right, with your aqua blue hair that will eventually become blonde tomorrow. You're no different from the idols."

"Shut up. Let's just go so we could rest at my house."

"What house. That's a fucking villa."

Chanyeol, Baekhyun and Jongin went to the basement parking entrance of the airport. They were told to look for a matte black van and they didn't have the difficulty to find it, since Kibum himself drove near them as soon as he saw Jongin.

"Welcome to Tokyo! Tōkyō e yōkoso! Kono utsukushī machi de no taizai o o tanoshimi kudasai. It's been a while!"

"Oh? Kibum hyung?"

"Yes. The one and only." Jongin was flustered because he didn't expect that Chanyeol would ask for Kibum's help.

"Ah we have to hurry. We still have to fetch the two models. They came from Kobe and they told me that they weren't able to disembark the plane right away and got stucked for almost an hour. They're at the domestic terminal." Chanyeol and Baekhyun insisted to stay at the back so Yumin could comfortably sleep with his parents patting his leg. Jongin have a whole spacious seat all for himself so he tried to get comfortable. After getting their luggages at the trunk, they went to the domestic flights parking lot. As soon as Kibum stopped, Sehun and Taemin got their luggages at the trunk, with Baekhyun and Chanyeol waving at Taemin and with Taemin telling them to keep quiet. Sehun went directly to the passenger seat and Taemin opened the backseat door, sat beside Jongin who was still clueless about who the models are and went on their way. Jongin just bowed to the man in a blue hoodie and rested his head to the window.

"Ah jinjja we almost got recognized! Aigoo. What took you so long?"

"Got some drinks for all of you. It's at the bag."

"What is this.. oh? Oh yes my chocolate bubble tea. Thanks hyung. Taemin ah, pass this to them." Sehun passed the bag to Taemin and Jongin reacted as if he was electrified.

"Eh? Are you okay?" Taemin checked Jongin and of course, Jongin was shocked to see those eyes he knows the most.

"Ya pass it there! Aigoo." Sehun told his best friend but stopped talking when he saw the two former lovers have finally recognized both their existence at the same seat.

"Ah ye. Uhm here, strawberry milk for you." Taemin gave him a carton of strawberry milk. He took his face mask off and bowed to Jongin.

"Hello.. it's been a while. Welcome to Tokyo."

"Ah.. yeah. Hello.. Shion? Taemin? I'm sorry, I don't know what to say, I-"

"You can call me Taemin. You can be comfortable. It's okay."

"Chanyeol, yours is the orange soda. And Baekhyun, the canned sweet americano. I guess Yumin already have a drink there hehe." Taemin smiled as he settled on his seat while Jongin beside him is still in awe of the reality that Taemin is with him. He just shrugged it off and took a nap first thinking that he's just dreaming.

It took them less than 30 minutes before they arrived at Taemin's newly-constructed house. They got the luggages off and Baekhyun immediately laid the sleeping Yumin to the couch.

"Welcome to Shion's Tokyo home. Ah, it feels great to be back here. Taemin ah, take them to their rooms."

"Ah yes. Uhm, yes this is my Tokyo house and I'm glad that I would be staying here with people I know because it's a bit lonely to live here alone. Chanyeol hyung and Baekhyun hyung, you could use the bigger room since you're three. Sehun ah, you already know your room so.. uhm and Jongin? You could take the guest room beside the mini gym at the mezzanine."

"Wow, he even have a mini gym at home."

"Taemin ah, show them your music room. Chanyeol and Baekhyun might also want to use it when ideas come out in the middle of the night."

"Yes. I have a piano, acoustic and electric guitars, two violins and a drum set that you could use if you want. Don't worry about the sound, the room is completely soundproof."

"Wow. I just got slapped by Matsuda Shion's earnings. Woah."

"Ania. Maybe it's from my savings? From the songs that I wrote and the melodies I create. Including all those songs that's co-written by me. Yeah, Sehun's right. Songwriter royalties are no joke especially here, I get paid in JPY."

"A round of applause to our budding artist. And later on, you'd also try modelling." Taemin just smiled and unknowingly looked at Jongin who was looking at him, who quickly turned away after their eyes met.

"Ah yes I have to feed you with snacks. Uhm, I haven't prepared anything but I think the bento boxes is on the way. If you want, you could go around and explore the house. I also have a play room where Yumin could stay at, since Sehun's kids comes here too. If you want to swim, there's a pool at the rooftop, then a mini pool and jacuzzi by the second floor."

"Wow Taemin. Thanks!" Chanyeol excitedly went to take his now awakened son to the play room. He got an acoustic guitar as well to play while Baekhyun went around. Sehun already settled on his room while waiting for Hayi to answer his video call. Kibum was at the kitchen eating some fruits while Taemin went up to his room. Jongin waited a bit before going up the mezzanine, and found out that his room was only across Taemin's room.

Jongin sighed because he doesn't know what to do. He is happy that Taemin is around but he doesn't know how to act. Should he act as a friend? Should he act as a stranger who's given a room to stay for his management's activities? He was torn because he wants to hug Taemin without thinking of anything but he remembered that they're not the way they used to be, especially Taemin left him to be alone and heal without getting any help from him.

He got an idea and seeked help from Sehun.

"Please help me.. I don't know what to do. Is he still mad? Does he need more time? Do I have to just act professionally or what?"

"He already told you, just be comfortable. You know how to do it, you've done that before."

"Is he still mad at me?"

"Why don't you ask him yourself? By that, you could get the answers straight from him. And as much as I want to slap your butts, both of you have to make efforts to be friends again."

"But he might still be mad at me."

"Do you think he would accept everything, working with you and making you stay at his home, if he's still mad at you? Aigoo jinjja."

"Okay. Thank you so much, Sehun ah."

Little did Jongin know that Taemin is as nervous as him, with Taemin having a video call with his sister Hayi asking for advice.

"Of all people, you are the one who knows that! You know everything about him, what he likes, what he hates, what he is comfortable with. It wasn't hard for you to get comfortable before, you even slept together the same night you first met!"

"Ya that's not it! We just talked and comforted each other back then."

"Maybe you could comfort him too. He's heartbroken, right? Heartbroken by you."

"What if he already have someone else?"

"Why don't you just talk to him to get answers to all your questions? After the closure, if you really want to be back in his life, you have to give efforts. Oppa, I have to go. Seha is already crying."

"Okay okay. My cute niece, don't cry a lot! Uncle Taem miss you!! I'll call you again soon."

"No need. We'd always be on for Sehun. Do not disturb us."

"Kurre kurre. Bye." Taemin took a deep breath and decided to talk to Jongin but he was surprised because Jongin was already by the door when he opened it.

"Oh!! Ah you scared me! Ah my heart, huhu. Why are you there?"

"Sorry. Uhm, Shion? Or Taemin?"

"Any name would do as long as you're comfortable. It's okay. Besides, I want you to be comfortable at the house and also comfortable around me. Perhaps, like a friend?"

"Did you already know that I will be working with you on this? Because I didn't have any clue that I would be working with you." Taemin got confronted by Jongin coming inside his room.

"Yes. I know that I would be working with you. They offered me and even if I know you'd be around, I'm fine with it."

"Why?" Taemin froze because Jongin became too serious.

"Because.. I don't want to be a coward again. I guess I have to face the people from my past so I could be at peace with the future. Going back here alone, it was lonely. I may have fixed myself but I was still empty. Even if I got my heart back, nothing is left. And this time, I want to be brave to at least give a chance. Friendship or anything, I'd go for it. If you're already with someone else, it's okay. Knowing that you're around would be enough."

"Taemin.. I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. It's okay. Ah, if you want to go on a swim, go ahead. The towels are available at the drawers. If you want to exercise, you could go to the gym. If you somehow have a melody in mind, you could play the instruments. You could do anything you want."

"Really? Anything?"

"Yes." Jongin looked at Taemin's eyes and kissed him sweetly but quickly.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this day and it has finally arrived, I think. Thank you, thank you for coming back into my life. Thank you for letting me be in your life too." Jongin cried while he hugged Taemin.

"I'm sorry if I left.. I really needed that to forget everything.. I just don't want to stay because I would just hurt you."

"It's okay. Maybe I needed it too. The time that we were apart, I made sure to do everything wholeheartedly. I was able to get a top place at the military thinking of you, thinking that you'd be proud of me if you know about it."

"I know about it and I'm very proud of you."

"You knew? How?"

"I may have left but I've always got news about you. Even if I was far away from you, I was still looking at you."

"But you've had comebacks during those times, right?"

"Yes and those news are what kept me on track. I wanted to forget everything and be a better man so when the time comes, I'll be the right one for you."

"Guess what, I think I could be the best man for you too. If you'd let me, this time, I would really pour my everything for you. Would you believe me if I told you that I still love you because that love never went away?"

"I could believe in that but I need to see actions first. Win me back then maybe I'd love you and be with you again."

"Aw. I thought hard times is over."

"There would always be hard times but this time, I want to have hard times with you than be undisturbed without you."

"Wow. Am I hearing that right? With me?"

"Who else? Only you."

"Thank heavens for this day. Oh my gosh." Jongin giggled like a girl by Taemin's neck.

"What?"

"I'm just happy."

"What happy? I bet you're not gonna be happy if I tell you that you'll have to have hard times again. Court me first."

"Ah, I thought you're referring to a different 'hard times'."

"Jongin what the? Your mind is oozing with green blood! Byuntae!!! Ah jinjja."

"Can we stay here for a while? I miss you, just so you know."

"I miss you too, so much. I left Mr.ChocoNini in Korea so I didn't have anyone to hug." Taemin snuggled up on Jongin's neck as they laid by the sofa bed.

"You could hug Nini instead. Nini is better than Mr.ChocoNini because he's already dirty. He haven't taken a bath yet."

"Nini isn't any different from Mr.ChocoNini. You haven't taken a bath too."

"Ya Lee Taemin aigoo!!" Jongin tickled Taemin until he was on top of him. The door suddenly swung open with Kibum.

"Ya the bento is- sorry for the disturbance. Goodness you should lock the door! Ya Baekhyun and Chanyeol the bento is here let's eat!!!" Kibum closed the door and went on, leaving Taemin and Jongin giggling.

"I'm hungry."

"Me too. What's inside the bento?"

"Ebi, ika, tonkatsu, tamago, sashimi, unagi, uni, karaage."

"Karaage? Kaja Taemin ah, I have to eat chicken! I'm so hungry." Jongin got Taemin's hand intertwined to his and went down to eat.


	13. 산소와 같은 사랑 // Love Like Oxygen

The preparations for the Tokyo Fashion Week have started and of course, the models had their practices for the runway. Chanyeol is for Tommy Hilfiger and Prada, Baekhyun is for Alexander Wang and Salvatore Ferragamo, Jongin is for Gucci, Ralph Lauren and Alexander McQueen then Sehun is for Marc Jacobs and Balmain. Taemin as Shion would also walk the runway for Off White, Diesel Gold, Yves Saint Laurent, Kenzo and Issey Miyake; he would also do the final walk before the designer is presented because he's the main muse for the fashion week in Tokyo.

"Ah, I'm nervous. Eotteokhae?"

"Are you nervous because you'll perform or you're nervous because you'll have the final walk?"

"The latter."

"Can you show me how you walk?" Taemin stood up, got ready and walked a bit awkward for a model.

"Your legs are awkward. And you might stumble because of your feet's position. I'll show you okay?" Jongin presented himself with a head held high, with some smirk, a seductive gaze plus a graceful and unawkward walk.

"Of course, that's the fruit of ten years. How could I ever learn that overnight?"

"Just don't be awkward. Work on your posture but don't be obvious that you'd look trying hard. Just let your charms up and make sure you won't stumble. That would be embarassing."

"Hai, senpai."

"Wow. Suddenly I'm a senpai."

"Well you are. You debuted almost 10 years ago."

"Yeah right. So practice all you can until it won't look awkward. For men, it's either you maintain a straight face or be fierce. Smiling is a no-no. Think of this as if everyone is serious or you're always battle ready. I'll evaluate your walk and if it doesn't please me then maybe I would have to do something for you to be conscious of your walk. Hehe."

"Ah I could smell the green green grass of your brain again. Jinjja."

"I'm serious!" Jongin told Taemin with a smirk and a plan.

Taemin may be sore but he became more careful and conscious with his walk that he made his final strut at the cat walk successful. He was praised by lots of media men saying that Shion is not just an artist but also a born model.

Of course, after the event, he have to punish Jongin by not letting him sleep beside him, making sure to lock his room door before Jongin barges in. But the bastard got the key for Taemin's sliding door; his room have a veranda that is connected to the gym room so he was still able to get in to annoy the hell out of Taemin. 

They had their adventure in Shanghai and Hong Kong, filling their stomachs with lots of dimsum and noodles plus lots of other Chinese food that they only thought of their body conditions when they were on their 13-hour flight to New York.

"Ah, I miss my Yumin huhu. Hayi ah, make sure that you'd feed him good food okay?"

"Yes Bakyun oppa!!"

"Ya! Ah jinjja if only my son wasn't with you. Aigoo."

"Chill, we all know that you miss your son, all the passengers of the plane have heard your voice too. Jinjja." 

"Well thank you for your concern, Shion ah but you'll understand my feelings someday if you'd get to have your own baby. Ah, eotteokhae? Jongin ah, you have to do your best so Taemin would become a mom soon."

"Wow, as if everything I give him would make him pregnant.."

"I like babies too, you know that. I'm even Luhannie and Seha's babysitter when those punks are out of the house."

"See? He's ready.."

"Just wait, when we set foot in New York, maybe we could work on that." Jongin winked at Taemin and he got a tickle on his sides as a reply.

New York has been a good place for couples and this is the worst scenario for Sehun since he and Kibum are fifth and sixth wheeling the Chanyeol-Baekhyun and Jongin-Taemin couple. They just went to some shops to somehow buy presents to Hayi, Luhan and Seha, while Kibum got some new and unique pieces that he would make as a trend by getting Shion wear it on his new projects.

"Channie, I want to eat shrimps and lobsters."

"What the? Why in the world would you want to eat shrimps and lobsters?" Taemin and Jongin just laughed at the background as they saw the husbands bickering at the streets of New York.

"They may only look like boyfriends but they are binded as one. They're really meant for each other. Now I'm glad that we both let them go because if we didn't, the four of us wouldn't be as happy as we are now."

"Are you happy, Taeminnie?"

"Yes, I'm happy that I am with Jonginnie. How about you, are you happy with Taeminnie?"

"Uhm.. I think I would be the happiest if Taeminnie would also become my husband, and we'd be just like them."

"Huh?"

"Taeminnie.." Jongin took a box out of his pocket and revealed a ring as he knelt down at the street.

"Oh my gosh Jonginnie! What is this?!?!"

"Taeminnie.. would you be my hubby too? Will you marry me?"

"Oh my gosh Channie! Ya Oh Sehun and Kibum hyung!!!"

"Omo!!" Sehun was delighted to see his best friend finally getting a marriage proposal that he and Kibum just smiled.

"Ya you haven't answered yet! My knees are getting weak! Taeminnie, will you marry Jonginnie?"

"I've waited so long for this day! Of course yes!"

"Oh my gosh we're now engaged!! We'll be getting married!!! Woohoo I'm the luckiest man because I'll be getting married to Taemin!!"

"That's so bold and sweet! Congratulations!!!"

Taemin and Jongin didn't waste their time in New York so before their flight to Europe, they legally got their marriage license and held a wedding officiated by the civil council, with their witnesses Sehun, Kibum, Baekhyun and Chanyeol. The newlyweds are very happy now that they are officially husbands.

Going to a different country far from what they have used to go to is hard, but is equally fun if spent with friends. None of them could speak German, they could only even speak basic conversational English but their first travel to Berlin were full of laughs and craziness. 

Jongin may have been to Europe before but it's his first time in Germany. Nevertheless, it didn't stop him to make some unforgettable things with Taemin. They explored the local cuisine and ate a lot. Among their favorites are cheese spatzle, Königsberger Klopse meatballs, schnitzel steak, sausage bratwurst and Eisbein pork knuckles. They also treat themselves to a cold glass of beer and got some cold cuts to munch on when they get hungry at their hotel rooms.

Needing not to go to the airport, they have their first Eurail ride from Berlin to Madrid. Spain have always been Taemin's dream destination and he was more than happy to explore it with his love and now, his husband. Jongin on the other hand, have felt special knowing that Taemin was able to fulfill his dreams to go to his dream country with him. They enjoyed the sights and since they personally love eating, they tried some authentic spanish tripe stew, squid rings, stir fried snails, pan seared pork ears, churros with chocolate dip, the old-fashioned tablea con chocolaté and some wine.

Their trip to Europe was fun since they only have to attend 2 days for the fashion week on each country, with another 3 days for them to explore the cities. They went over to Milan, Italy not only for sight seeing but also for going to art galleries. They also tried to be Romeo and Juliet even though the original setting was in Venice, then went to try risotto, beef shank stew, piadina flatbread with cold cuts and cheese, lots of pizzas, pastas and red wine.

It's already a month since Taemin and Kai got married when they arrived in Paris. Their earlier shows in Berlin, Madrid and Milan were fun but they were more hyped in France. Chanyeol and Baekhyun got some love locks while Kibum and Sehun went to buy lots of gifts for the kids and for themselves. Taemin and Jongin munched mostly on breads and pastries.

"Nini, I want that. Cheese croissants!!! Ah this is a true heaven!" Taemin got really excited with the presence of cheese at the country of cheeses.

"Okay, I will buy you a lot of that but buy me some of the things I like too."

"Sure. What do you like?"

"You."

"Ah you're so cheesy."

"We're at the cheesiest country, you can't blame me. Hehe."

"You really won't stop, eh?"

"Can't stop, won't stop. Can't stop me now. I love you."

"I love you too! Kaja, you'd still buy me lots of cheeses." Taemin grinned while Jongin whined. When they arrived at a strawberry specialty shop, it was Jongin's turn to be cute to Taemin so his love would buy him the treats.

"Oohh that looks good! Strawberry macaron!!! And I also want the strawberry cheese cakes too!"

"I like cheesecakes so let's have a lot. I want the plain one though."

"We could munch these at the hotel room. Yay."

Taemin can't help but be in awe as his eyes continued to see lots of cheese shops. He got a lot of camembert cheese to stock on his luggage to take back in Tokyo. 

When they went back to the hotel and have their buffet dinner, Taemin realized that it's oysters night. Taemin likes oysters and loves cheese so he was really happy that there are garlic buttered cheesy oysters. Jongin doesn't like oysters but with Taemin's charm and persuasion, Taemin was able to successfully feed him a lot. Thinking that it may be an acquired taste, Jongin got comfortable with eating a grilled one as he doesn't like to eat a raw one. They also got falafel sandwich with meatballs, steak and fries and Jongin's favorite fried duck. Before they left Paris, they made sure to buy lots of chocolates, salted caramel melts, black and white truffles and a bottle of rose champagne.

Spending 2 weeks in Paris almost made them want to live there, not until they went to their last stop for the European part of the world tour. Meeting lots of different artists, global ambassadors and models in London, Taemin was in awe on how the haute couture have been passed by ages. He never thought that he would be a part of such luxurious event especially they were treated as VIPs, especially him as he is Japan's representative for performances. It may be a bit burdensome but with Jongin's help and support, he was able to walk down the glorious catwalk wearing Japan's Issey Miyake, Kenzo and Comme des Garçon. Kibum is all smiles and very proud of Shion as Japan is the only asian country that participated in the event and have garnered applauses from the expectators.

"Wow. Supermodel Shion, congratulations!!!"

"Ania I'm not a supermodel. You are."

"But you were the one who was applauded, not me. It's okay, Nini is very proud of TaemTaem."

"Thank you. Ah, now our work here in Europe is done!! We could enjoy London and we could.. somehow have a honeymoon!!"

"Too excited to get laid. Sadly the oysters weren't able to give you the non-stop sex that you want because both of us were too tired to make love."

"It's okay. At least, we were able to do once in every country. I'm already proud that we were able to do that. And guess what? We still have our last stop in our home country."

"Gosh I would seriously love to make love to you back home. Jinjja."

The flight from Heathrow Airport to Gimpo airport was awesome, especially with Taemin and Jongin all snuggled up together.

The newlyweds attended the Seoul Fashion Week like the supermodel they are and created headlines as they both became the headturners of the event. Jongin couldn't keep his happiness since he was able to receive the award alongside his love. Taemin was overwhelmed when he came back to Seoul not just as singer Matsuda Shion, had a special stage and walked as rookie model. Kai, being Shion's senior, walked with him as they officially closed the event.

"Ah, we're finally home. We could just rest at the house freely also without getting followed by fans."

"It's been a while, I miss our home. Good thing Baekhyun and Chanyeol booked a hotel room under your name but Kibum hyung stayed there instead. The fans would not be able to see you even if they follow you around."

"Yeah. Now let's just chill at the company of our home. It feels great to be back especially now that we're married. I never thought I'd see you again in Japan because I left this house without any clue about you being included on the roster of models I'll work with. But after our world tour and all the fashion weeks attended, here we are, back again, better than before and legally married."

"I'm thankful that you still love me and you waited for me even if I left you. I love you!"

"I love you too! And now even if lots of things come between us, I would just have to believe in the promise of our love and in your words. I should never get swayed with temptations, problems nor conflicts. We will never break up; we'll stay together to work things out and agree with enough adjustment and understanding each other. We will always believe that this is our destiny, our fate and this is the world's blessing for us so we could love each other forever."

A month passed and even if Jongin and Taemin are married and stayed at their home, Taemin as Shion would have to go back to Japan. The newlyweds were really anxious of their separation because Taemin is not just the ordinary Taemin that Jongin know, he is also Shion, an artist. They made a plan and for some reasons agreed to it without revealing Shion's secret life and Taemin getting entangled of the entertainment industry issues.

Taemin was alone at his villa in Ebisu, feeling empty than ever because his husband is in Seoul, 4 hour flight away from where he is now and it's making him lose his mind.

"Ah gosh I miss him so much." Taemin tried to call but Jongin's phone was just ringing. He tried to call multiple times until he was answered.

"Finally Jongin! Why aren't you answering my calls!"

"Sorry love. I'm on my way home."

"Oh is that so? Alright. Sorry."

"I'll just call you when I arrive okay? I love you. I'm near our home."

"Okay. Drive safely! I love you!"

"Um. Love you, love." Jongin dropped the call but Taemin's anxiousness didn't leave him so he tried to distract himself by going to his room and getting ready for a jacuzzi dip to calm his nerves.

He was getting sleepy when he heard his villa door open, and with thinking it was only Kibum or Jonghyun or his brother Jonghyun, Taemin just shrugged. He was surprised when he heard luggage wheels rolling on his tiled floors and also footsteps coming up to the mezzanine. His bedroom door opened and he was seriously surprised to see his love all smiles and arms wide, waiting for Taemin to hug him.

"Oh my gosh Jonginnie!!!" Taemin was super excited to hug his love again that even if he was wet, he went out of the jacuzzi and hugged Jongin. Jongin instantly regretted that he asked for a hug but since he's already wet by Taemin's body, he just smiled.

"I thought you're on your way home?"

"I am. I was on my way home. And you are my home, remember?"

"You're so sweet! I miss you so much!"

"Guess what? Jonginnie is here to stay longer. I was granted to stay longer here in Japan thanks to hyungs. I may still have to go back to Seoul sometimes but I'd also be applying for immigrant visa, so we don't have to be miles apart. I miss you as much as you miss me, love. I love you."

"Why are you making me cry huhu."

"No need to shed tears, but I'll be sure to wipe them all away with kisses. And hey, I think I have to take my wet clothes off too, to match your naked body."

"Ya.. omo. Okay.. i'll wait for you at the jacuzzi. Hihi."

Jongin joined his husband, his love and his life Taemin at the jacuzzi with a glass of champagne plus cheese and cold cuts platter. He can't help but admire Taemin that looks so happy now that he is with him.

"Taeminnie love?"

"Yes love?"

"I want to sing you a song."

"Oh wow. Okay go ahead I'll listen."

"Ah, I shy. I'll just tell you the lyrics."

"Tsch. Okay. Palli and tell me."

"_I cried a lot because of you, I laughed a lot because of you, I believed in the love because of you and I’ve lost everything because of you. I was very frustrated, too suffocated and so lonely. The world without you has chewed my words out, trampled on my dignity and tore my heart apart.._ But guess what? I was able to live, to feel alive, trust love again, and got everything I've lost back and more, all because of you."

"Awww. It's my first time hearing you sing and you happen to sing that song. You even added some words to it. I love it. I love you."

"That's just my heart poured onto words. I am happy that everything good happened to me when you came and when we chose to love each other. Because of you, I'm very happy. I hope you feel the same. I love you so much."

"Of course. Just promise to take care of my heart okay? I'll do anything for you, love. My life is complete because of you." With much love, the couple kissed and smiled.


End file.
